last night, I had a dream...

[voceconbrio]

I don't really know where to start with this one.  I was getting married but all of the preparations seemed to be getting pulled together really last minute but, at the time, I was just kind of going with it and thinking "It'll be all good...We'll get everything done we need to....It'll be wonderful..."  I saw my mother and someone else carrying what I recognized as my gown off to where I would change into it later - over a kind of small bridge over nothing.  The place we were having it had some other purpose.  The ceremony was to be held outside - there were chairs set up and a decorated arch and all of that - but it seemed like time for me to get ready hadn't been well planned out.  It looked like most things were ready but I was still in jeans with no hair or makeup done or anything and, for some reason, it seemed I needed to warm up, to sing, as well.  My mother was there in the bustling about and so was my father inexplicably.  I remember seeing members of my bridal party briefly but not long enough to get a sense of them and I was either sent off or wandered off to get ready.  The first place I went seemed to be a long table outside near the beach but not which should have been odd because the venue was not near a beach.  The table was strewn with all kinds of things - clothes, small furniture, makeup, craft things...None of it really made sense and I couldn't find what I was looking for.  I needed a Kleenex but only found a pile of dirty clothes, some of which seemed to belong to a young child.  I needed to put my makeup on but initially what I found was beige paint though I didn't realize it immediately.  There was something on my face that I needed to cover - around my eye - and the beige paint wasn't going to cover it and I needed help with my tattoo.  I finally found makeup but needed to go somewhere else to put it on.  There was a room reserved for this it seemed and I went towards it but it still seemed like I was running late - still no makeup, hair not done, I hadn't yet sung.  There was a sign posted about the reservation but it was awkwardly worded - almost legalese - and I walked up and into the room.  It was almost as though it were a small trailer but the door was not a full door and I didn't make it into the main room.  I heard men approaching and my mind defined them as football players.  Despite the sign and my silent urgings, a couple of very large men kept trying to get into where I was - even reaching over and around the door to unlock it from the inside.  I finally just left and told them they could have it.  I moved on to what seemed like a string of Sunday school rooms and had problems finding one empty for some reason.  I found one with only one person in it  - a guy I recognized but couldn't place - and I made some impatient comment about how he'd have to find somewhere else, I was pressed for time.  He left and it seemed like I had barely had time to settle before he was back again and forlorn, almost in tears, because he had just broken up with his girlfriend.  I was trying desperately to ignore him and do what I needed to do because I was increasingly pressed for time and it seemed like he just loomed closer and another guy came up and kept wanting to play keyboard for us and I just felt more and more closed in and confused and frustrated...

And then I woke up.  I am still very, very unsettled and I feel like I have way too many things that need to get done right this moment that are all very important and I'm not really sure how to go about doing things.  So I guess some of the dream kind of makes sense.  I'm not certain about a lot of it though...