(no subject)
Today we have an appointment with a loan lady at 6pm. My mom called yesterday I don't remember what it was about but we talked about buying a house with her so she called her realtor and her realtor called me. We are going to look at houses with her at about 6pm tomorrow. She called her loan lady and so that lady gave me a call. She said we can get approved for a $134000 loan at about $1075/mo with no money down but she said when she talks to us today for "house buying 101" we have to bring our tax return and w-2's for the past 2 years. So Sam's really nervous because we haven't made a lot of money till recently and Sam is always changing jobs for a better paying job even if it's just for one more dollar an hour. And when Sam told her how much he made an hour I found out he was lying by 50 cents and I got really mad at him and told him it was embarrassing for me and that a loan person isnt one of his bar buddies that he can just lie to about how much an hour he makes. And we called the appartment office and found out that it would cost us 3 months rent and our deposit if we got out of our lease before it was up. So that would be like fucking $2000 or so. So we decided we aren't going to move till our lease is up but we still want to look at houses and keep our appointments so we can learn things about buying houses and all the things grown ups do. So I guess we'll start buying a house in Dec and move out of here in Jan or something. I can't fucking wait to get the fuck out of a 2 bedroom hell hole on top of a nother hell hole under a hell hole that has really fat people stomping around all the time. We're going to try and save up about $3-5 grand for a down payment and we don't have any of that. So we might not go on our super awesome Mexico vaca and instead go to Memphis/Graceland which is such a difference from MEHICO.
Fifi's is doing another PBR party June 24 so I have to make some stuff to sell there. I got 20 yds of Alexander Henry fabric that I ordered through Beqi but I left it at Fifi's. It's super awesome black fabric with multi colored mexican sugar skulls on it. Kelly wants 4 skirts just to buy off me instead of consign which is only $60 total. I need to make a lot more stuff but I am broke until Friday so I can't buy anything from Hancocks. I haven't been scheduled for a really long time there so I don't even call on Mondays anymore to see if I work. I'm sure if they scheduled me they'd call me to let me know. I do really need the money now that we have to save 5 grand.
Sam gets really self involved and selfish with his feelings and talks about how he wishes he could go out and party every night but intead he has all these responsabilities and I'm like "what the fuck are you trying to say?" He talks about how he's jealous of his friends that are able to do that and his friends have sucky lives. Matt makes $7/hr and lives with someone for $200 a month, has a broken car, no clothes, bad tattoos, no money, a prepaid phone that runs out of minutes every other day, braces on his top teeth that I think he's had on since he was in middle school and just couldn't afford to remove them, a kid that he sees one day a week, and teeth that are visibly rotting.
Dan and Val... have awesome wordrobes and dancing skills but live in an empty 2 bedroom apt and don't have a lot to show for concidering they are 27 and 31 and should have things other than shoes and mad skills on the dance floor.
Mike who is in a super cool band and has toured with Nekromantix and stuff but lives in one of those houses that was turned into an apartment so someone lives below you with no real doors to seperate you from them and smokes pot among other things and also works for about $7/hr and lives off his wife is the only one that has a semi good paying job at a photo studio but has to work all the time to pay for things. Basically we have priorities that I thought were important but Sam thinks his popularity and drinking habits should be important. And when I complain about him talking this way he starts to act like he doesnt really get jealous of these people but I know he does. He just has really low self esteem and I can't even feel depressed and tell him about it with out him talking about how he's depressed today. I feel responsible for his emotions so I don't have time to reflect on my own. If I say I feel flabby today he'll ask if he looks flabby and what I think about his body and skin color and ask about his "dark circles" under his eyes and his hair and etc. It's really exhausting. It's like being married to Andrea for those who know who I'm talking about. For father's day sam wants new shoes, jeans, shirts, and a tattoo but he's going to have to choose one now that we have to do hardcore saving. I think he should get a tattoo since he always talks about how he's jealous of the amount of tattoos everyone else has and I have to remind him that they also have no job and furniture and no car and blah blah. If I ever kill myself it will be because of him. But if I tell him that then it will just be another reason for him to talk about himself even though I'm the one dying inside. This is totally not the direction of the journal entry I was trying to take. Other people have more problems than me and I should be lucky and stop my bitching about Sam.
Basically what I was trying to say at the beginning of the Sam paragraph was I hope finally getting a house will shut him up. He thinks that we should have a house by now and I have to remind him that no one else our age has a house and I am only 20 yrs old and he's only 24. But since he works with people that are 40 he compares himself to their lifestyle but he never compares himself to their drug use or alcoholism or redneckness, just the fact that they own houses and we don't. I have to remind him that a lot of people have but loads of credit card debt, etc. He's basically ungrateful for anything he has and just wants more and more. Hopefully he never reads this.
The reason why I don't get on lj much is because I had to get them to send me a new password to my email and it's one of those generic ones that have random letters and numbers and I haven't changed it to something I can remember so I have to go to my email and copy/paste it every time I go on lj.
Fifi's is doing another PBR party June 24 so I have to make some stuff to sell there. I got 20 yds of Alexander Henry fabric that I ordered through Beqi but I left it at Fifi's. It's super awesome black fabric with multi colored mexican sugar skulls on it. Kelly wants 4 skirts just to buy off me instead of consign which is only $60 total. I need to make a lot more stuff but I am broke until Friday so I can't buy anything from Hancocks. I haven't been scheduled for a really long time there so I don't even call on Mondays anymore to see if I work. I'm sure if they scheduled me they'd call me to let me know. I do really need the money now that we have to save 5 grand.
Sam gets really self involved and selfish with his feelings and talks about how he wishes he could go out and party every night but intead he has all these responsabilities and I'm like "what the fuck are you trying to say?" He talks about how he's jealous of his friends that are able to do that and his friends have sucky lives. Matt makes $7/hr and lives with someone for $200 a month, has a broken car, no clothes, bad tattoos, no money, a prepaid phone that runs out of minutes every other day, braces on his top teeth that I think he's had on since he was in middle school and just couldn't afford to remove them, a kid that he sees one day a week, and teeth that are visibly rotting.
Dan and Val... have awesome wordrobes and dancing skills but live in an empty 2 bedroom apt and don't have a lot to show for concidering they are 27 and 31 and should have things other than shoes and mad skills on the dance floor.
Mike who is in a super cool band and has toured with Nekromantix and stuff but lives in one of those houses that was turned into an apartment so someone lives below you with no real doors to seperate you from them and smokes pot among other things and also works for about $7/hr and lives off his wife is the only one that has a semi good paying job at a photo studio but has to work all the time to pay for things. Basically we have priorities that I thought were important but Sam thinks his popularity and drinking habits should be important. And when I complain about him talking this way he starts to act like he doesnt really get jealous of these people but I know he does. He just has really low self esteem and I can't even feel depressed and tell him about it with out him talking about how he's depressed today. I feel responsible for his emotions so I don't have time to reflect on my own. If I say I feel flabby today he'll ask if he looks flabby and what I think about his body and skin color and ask about his "dark circles" under his eyes and his hair and etc. It's really exhausting. It's like being married to Andrea for those who know who I'm talking about. For father's day sam wants new shoes, jeans, shirts, and a tattoo but he's going to have to choose one now that we have to do hardcore saving. I think he should get a tattoo since he always talks about how he's jealous of the amount of tattoos everyone else has and I have to remind him that they also have no job and furniture and no car and blah blah. If I ever kill myself it will be because of him. But if I tell him that then it will just be another reason for him to talk about himself even though I'm the one dying inside. This is totally not the direction of the journal entry I was trying to take. Other people have more problems than me and I should be lucky and stop my bitching about Sam.
Basically what I was trying to say at the beginning of the Sam paragraph was I hope finally getting a house will shut him up. He thinks that we should have a house by now and I have to remind him that no one else our age has a house and I am only 20 yrs old and he's only 24. But since he works with people that are 40 he compares himself to their lifestyle but he never compares himself to their drug use or alcoholism or redneckness, just the fact that they own houses and we don't. I have to remind him that a lot of people have but loads of credit card debt, etc. He's basically ungrateful for anything he has and just wants more and more. Hopefully he never reads this.
The reason why I don't get on lj much is because I had to get them to send me a new password to my email and it's one of those generic ones that have random letters and numbers and I haven't changed it to something I can remember so I have to go to my email and copy/paste it every time I go on lj.