Yea
Wow, I've updated 3 times today lol. Right now, I guess, I have alot going through my head. I'm learning alot about myself. I'm starting to learn what I can and can not take. I'm also starting to learn that you need to take life day by day, you CAN'T plan everything, no matter how much you want to. Right now, I'm at a point with somethings that I realize I have NO clue what's going on, and I'm okay with that. Now, on to something interesting. I've been hanging out with someone who is really cool. Well, basically the whole " I don't want a relationship" thingie came up. Well, that's 100% okay with me. No, we're not just "fucking", we're not even doing that. I dunno, it's hard to explain. I think that neither of us know what we really want, but are comfortable with what we have. And as long as we're okay with it, who gives a fuck. The funny thing is, is that on the outside, meaning the way we dress, we're quite opposite. Not saying that I don't dress nice, but he's sort of a preppy boi if you will. I know that has to sound funny, but he looks nice. That's not the main thing that attracts me to him. Granted, it is part of it. But mentally, the things we've been through, and the way we think, we are similar. We both just got out of relationships, and maybe right now, we have something the other one needs. He can open up easily to me, and I feel safe with him. It's hard for me to trust, yes, I do admit that. I'm very fucking paranoid, and always think someone has another intention than what they're telling me. One thing I have realized about myself, is I won't put up with bullshit anymore. If I think something is up, I will call you out on it, if you don't like it, too fucking bad. I'm not into head games anymore, that's stupid teenager bull shit! There's been some drama as of late, but, I've done my best to stay out of it. There are certain people that just need to grow up, and deal with shit. I have done some things in my past, that I'm not 100% happy about. There are certain people that I've appologized to. I think this year is going to be alot of changes for me. I do know that I am starting to find out just who my true friends are also. There are certain people that I can NOT see my life without.