(no subject)
so i guess i only update when there is no one to talk to online so it's like talking to everyone except..in advance
I'm so fed up with high school...with all the people. The way they act. The crap you go through.
I was arguing with my aunt the other day cause i was on the phone with the insurance company(s) and my lawyer for like 2 hours. I was telling her how it sucks dealing with these kind of things. I don't want to be an adult i still have 3 months left. Lawyers..money.. business...all the fricken time.
And being all knowing and wise she goes "well too bad your already an adult whether you like it or not."
Which is not to say i'm the most mature person in the world. But I can't deal with this damn inbetween stage. All this preperation.. i've been preparing for the past year.
waiting and waiting...and when the time comes im sure i'll be waiting for something else.
It's like...who the hell are you to tell me I need to be home by 12...and bitching at me that you have to go to work tommorow... Well i certainly didnt ask you to stay up and make sure i came home.
K so that may be the dumbest thing to get upset about right? I mean...they're your parents that's there job..?
Well...
I don't have any fricken parents... I take care of my shit i pay my bills i feed myself (well half the time i hit up my aunts house for food) i buy my clothes,my needs, pay for everything.. i take care of school i plan my future. I leave in the morning i come home at night thats how it is cause this isnt my home this is a pitstop to the rest of my life.
So yea...don't respond to that cause i know its dumb im just feeling the anticipation of the escape from the messed up dramatic pathetic thing called my life. 3 months from now i'll be in the process of moving. away from all the dark parts of my life that kept me down for sooo long. I can wipe away all the stains and start over by myself.
what incited all of this? well i hung out with one of my best friends ever lindsey swords. She was home from college for thanksgiving. So i gave her a ride home and we just sat there for 20 minutes talkin bout how it used to be. About all the good times we used to have. And i realized how retarded my life is right now. Not that it ever wasn't but i am finding myself to be doing a whole lotta nothing... preparing. No one parties anymore there's no more memories this year. No crazy times and wild nights.
But i'm safe...? yea? walking down the beaten path to ensure my success and productivity for the future.
so what exactly is it that im doing for that?
all im seeing is a whole lot of nothing.
I just don't get it what do i need to do to be still for once?
oh yeah...move out, graduate, go to college, graduate, get a job, find a wife, have kids, get a suburban house and drive a suv.
just like everyone else
Makes me just wanna run away. Imagine that just driving somewhere? doesnt matter where..just driving... eating wherever, sleeping wherever... just drifting. Go to california... or just out in the middle of the woods somewhere.
I wonder if we ever find our way in life? or..if it's always too late by the time we do?
on a seperate note
school dances suck
and to jump on the bandwagon..
sarah ware is awesome.. 1 month monday. you surprise me in so many ways...
and thats kinda..
..nice
I'm so fed up with high school...with all the people. The way they act. The crap you go through.
I was arguing with my aunt the other day cause i was on the phone with the insurance company(s) and my lawyer for like 2 hours. I was telling her how it sucks dealing with these kind of things. I don't want to be an adult i still have 3 months left. Lawyers..money.. business...all the fricken time.
And being all knowing and wise she goes "well too bad your already an adult whether you like it or not."
Which is not to say i'm the most mature person in the world. But I can't deal with this damn inbetween stage. All this preperation.. i've been preparing for the past year.
waiting and waiting...and when the time comes im sure i'll be waiting for something else.
It's like...who the hell are you to tell me I need to be home by 12...and bitching at me that you have to go to work tommorow... Well i certainly didnt ask you to stay up and make sure i came home.
K so that may be the dumbest thing to get upset about right? I mean...they're your parents that's there job..?
Well...
I don't have any fricken parents... I take care of my shit i pay my bills i feed myself (well half the time i hit up my aunts house for food) i buy my clothes,my needs, pay for everything.. i take care of school i plan my future. I leave in the morning i come home at night thats how it is cause this isnt my home this is a pitstop to the rest of my life.
So yea...don't respond to that cause i know its dumb im just feeling the anticipation of the escape from the messed up dramatic pathetic thing called my life. 3 months from now i'll be in the process of moving. away from all the dark parts of my life that kept me down for sooo long. I can wipe away all the stains and start over by myself.
what incited all of this? well i hung out with one of my best friends ever lindsey swords. She was home from college for thanksgiving. So i gave her a ride home and we just sat there for 20 minutes talkin bout how it used to be. About all the good times we used to have. And i realized how retarded my life is right now. Not that it ever wasn't but i am finding myself to be doing a whole lotta nothing... preparing. No one parties anymore there's no more memories this year. No crazy times and wild nights.
But i'm safe...? yea? walking down the beaten path to ensure my success and productivity for the future.
so what exactly is it that im doing for that?
all im seeing is a whole lot of nothing.
I just don't get it what do i need to do to be still for once?
oh yeah...move out, graduate, go to college, graduate, get a job, find a wife, have kids, get a suburban house and drive a suv.
just like everyone else
Makes me just wanna run away. Imagine that just driving somewhere? doesnt matter where..just driving... eating wherever, sleeping wherever... just drifting. Go to california... or just out in the middle of the woods somewhere.
I wonder if we ever find our way in life? or..if it's always too late by the time we do?
on a seperate note
school dances suck
and to jump on the bandwagon..
sarah ware is awesome.. 1 month monday. you surprise me in so many ways...
and thats kinda..
..nice