Fanfic: Steady
# 5 of 10 for 10_quotes Hooray, I'm halfway there!
Title: Steady
Rating: T
Fandom: Princess Diaries
Movie/Quote: The African Queen (#65)
“We can't do that!”
“How do you know? You never tried it.”
“Well, yeah, but I never tried shooting myself in the head neither.”
Summary: Learning to be graceful presents a challenge to the men.
Disclaimer: Princess Diaries belongs to Meg Cabot & Disney. No infringement is intended.
~*~*~
It had been a long, frustrating morning. Joseph was used to being the best. Having his weaknesses exposed was difficult; his wife being the one to expose them was excruciating.
He had been called a ghost during his military days due to his ability to walk through the forest without leaving a trace of his presence. No footprints or broken twigs marked his trail. He had used his ability to be light on his feet to become a proficient ballroom dancer. No woman ended up with bruised toes after a spin around the floor in his arms.
So why, he wondered, was he completely unable to walk across a room with a book on his head, without the book falling to the floor, and more painfully, on his foot? Today's session of Knight School had focused on deportment, and it had been hours and hours of back and forth across the throne room, trying and failing to complete the simple task they had been assigned.
The fact that Nicholas, Lord Deveraux, was even clumsier than Joseph was the only high point of the morning. Clarisse had finally thrown up her hands in disgust before ordering a two-hour break. He had hoped to soothe her frustration with his performance with a performance of another kind, one he knew he excelled at, but he had been unable to find her, much less tempt her to skip lunch to satisfy another appetite.
They had moved their practice session to the gymnasium after lunch, more to prevent damage to the floors than for the students comfort, Joseph suspected. His wife's entry into the room carrying two wrapped boxes, coupled with the glint in her eye... he could put the clues together quickly enough. Whatever she had in store for them, they weren't going to like it. He was suddenly quite grateful for the fact that there were no security cameras within the gymnasium, only guarding the entrances and exits.
“Open them,” Clarisse said, handing one of the packages to each man. “Perhaps you need a little encouragement to complete your lesson.”
Joseph felt the knot growing in the pit of his stomach. As he stared with horror into the box, a conversation he'd had with Mia a lifetime ago came rushing back.
Strange town, San Francisco. When I purchased the pumps, they asked if I wanted them wrapped or if I wanted to wear them...
He had chuckled over the misunderstanding then, but today, this was no laughing matter.
Joseph's internal musing was interrupted by an exclamation from Nicholas.
“No way! You can't be serious!”
Joseph wanted to tell Nicholas that his petulant attitude wouldn't elicit a positive response from Clarisse, but there was no opportunity for a well-timed elbow to the side before his wife replied.
“Deadly serious. You'll walk in those heels until you stop schlumping and learn some grace. You must be able to carry yourself with the dignity required of a member of the royal family.”
The stiffened spine, the narrowed eyes... Clarisse had a lifetime of being obeyed behind the weight of her stare. It was going to take a careful mix of diplomacy and humor to soothe the feathers that Nicholas' ill-timed words had ruffled.
“Clarisse, darling, we can't do that.”
“How do you know?” she inquired, “You've never tried it.”
“Well, yeah,” Joseph answered wryly, “but I've never tried shooting myself in the head neither. I don't have to try it to know it's a bad idea.”
He gazed into her eyes, pleading without words for her acquiescence. If word ever got out to the security staff, he'd never hear the end of it. He was heartened that she seemed to be evaluating the situation; her gaze alternately meeting his and looking away as she considered his thoughts. A quick nod of her head meant she'd come to a decision.
“You get one chance to walk across the room with the book on your head. If it doesn't fall, you don't have to wear the heels.”
Joseph let out the breath he'd been holding. It wasn't the full surrender he'd wanted, but she was attempting a compromise. Now, it would all depend on their ability to act under pressure.
He magnanimously allowed Nicholas to go first. He wasn't about to succeed just to watch the boy fail and be stuck in the size 11 torture devices all afternoon. But it appeared that fear was a powerful motivator. There was a tense moment when the book on top of Nicholas' head wobbled unsteadily, but he regained his balance and made it safely across the room.
Joseph tried to unobtrusively wipe the sweat from his bare head, hoping that a dry scalp would provide much better traction. The challenge dancing in his wife's eyes as she placed the heavy weight on his head steadied his nerves. Slowly, in measured steps, he walked steadily across the room. The book that had seemed to slip and slide with every motion during their morning practice now felt anchored in place. He moved confidently and securely to meet Nicholas, then turned to face his love and bowed his head, the book falling deftly into his outstretched hands.
Her winning smile filled his spirit with joy and relief. His elation grew further at her words.
“Class dismissed.”
In the blink of an eye, Nicholas had shot out of the room. Joseph moved more leisurely, coming to stand next to his wife who was whistling softly as she bent to pick up the forgotten shoe boxes.
“I think,” Joseph began, “that I might need some additional lessons. Some one on one training, as it were.”
“Really?” she asked, humor coloring her voice. “How do you propose we do that?”
“You, wearing your highest heels, in our bedroom in ten minutes,” he answered with a growl, “so I can properly observe your every movement.”
Hunger flashed in her eyes at his suggestion, before she schooled her features into a more businesslike expression.
“Perhaps you can see that these are returned to Charlotte,” she said, handing him the boxes. “It appears I have a private lesson to prepare for.”
With a wink, she turned, exaggerating the sway of her hips just slightly, and walked out of the room.
It seemed today wasn't such a bad day after all.
Title: Steady
Rating: T
Fandom: Princess Diaries
Movie/Quote: The African Queen (#65)
“We can't do that!”
“How do you know? You never tried it.”
“Well, yeah, but I never tried shooting myself in the head neither.”
Summary: Learning to be graceful presents a challenge to the men.
Disclaimer: Princess Diaries belongs to Meg Cabot & Disney. No infringement is intended.
~*~*~
It had been a long, frustrating morning. Joseph was used to being the best. Having his weaknesses exposed was difficult; his wife being the one to expose them was excruciating.
He had been called a ghost during his military days due to his ability to walk through the forest without leaving a trace of his presence. No footprints or broken twigs marked his trail. He had used his ability to be light on his feet to become a proficient ballroom dancer. No woman ended up with bruised toes after a spin around the floor in his arms.
So why, he wondered, was he completely unable to walk across a room with a book on his head, without the book falling to the floor, and more painfully, on his foot? Today's session of Knight School had focused on deportment, and it had been hours and hours of back and forth across the throne room, trying and failing to complete the simple task they had been assigned.
The fact that Nicholas, Lord Deveraux, was even clumsier than Joseph was the only high point of the morning. Clarisse had finally thrown up her hands in disgust before ordering a two-hour break. He had hoped to soothe her frustration with his performance with a performance of another kind, one he knew he excelled at, but he had been unable to find her, much less tempt her to skip lunch to satisfy another appetite.
They had moved their practice session to the gymnasium after lunch, more to prevent damage to the floors than for the students comfort, Joseph suspected. His wife's entry into the room carrying two wrapped boxes, coupled with the glint in her eye... he could put the clues together quickly enough. Whatever she had in store for them, they weren't going to like it. He was suddenly quite grateful for the fact that there were no security cameras within the gymnasium, only guarding the entrances and exits.
“Open them,” Clarisse said, handing one of the packages to each man. “Perhaps you need a little encouragement to complete your lesson.”
Joseph felt the knot growing in the pit of his stomach. As he stared with horror into the box, a conversation he'd had with Mia a lifetime ago came rushing back.
Strange town, San Francisco. When I purchased the pumps, they asked if I wanted them wrapped or if I wanted to wear them...
He had chuckled over the misunderstanding then, but today, this was no laughing matter.
Joseph's internal musing was interrupted by an exclamation from Nicholas.
“No way! You can't be serious!”
Joseph wanted to tell Nicholas that his petulant attitude wouldn't elicit a positive response from Clarisse, but there was no opportunity for a well-timed elbow to the side before his wife replied.
“Deadly serious. You'll walk in those heels until you stop schlumping and learn some grace. You must be able to carry yourself with the dignity required of a member of the royal family.”
The stiffened spine, the narrowed eyes... Clarisse had a lifetime of being obeyed behind the weight of her stare. It was going to take a careful mix of diplomacy and humor to soothe the feathers that Nicholas' ill-timed words had ruffled.
“Clarisse, darling, we can't do that.”
“How do you know?” she inquired, “You've never tried it.”
“Well, yeah,” Joseph answered wryly, “but I've never tried shooting myself in the head neither. I don't have to try it to know it's a bad idea.”
He gazed into her eyes, pleading without words for her acquiescence. If word ever got out to the security staff, he'd never hear the end of it. He was heartened that she seemed to be evaluating the situation; her gaze alternately meeting his and looking away as she considered his thoughts. A quick nod of her head meant she'd come to a decision.
“You get one chance to walk across the room with the book on your head. If it doesn't fall, you don't have to wear the heels.”
Joseph let out the breath he'd been holding. It wasn't the full surrender he'd wanted, but she was attempting a compromise. Now, it would all depend on their ability to act under pressure.
He magnanimously allowed Nicholas to go first. He wasn't about to succeed just to watch the boy fail and be stuck in the size 11 torture devices all afternoon. But it appeared that fear was a powerful motivator. There was a tense moment when the book on top of Nicholas' head wobbled unsteadily, but he regained his balance and made it safely across the room.
Joseph tried to unobtrusively wipe the sweat from his bare head, hoping that a dry scalp would provide much better traction. The challenge dancing in his wife's eyes as she placed the heavy weight on his head steadied his nerves. Slowly, in measured steps, he walked steadily across the room. The book that had seemed to slip and slide with every motion during their morning practice now felt anchored in place. He moved confidently and securely to meet Nicholas, then turned to face his love and bowed his head, the book falling deftly into his outstretched hands.
Her winning smile filled his spirit with joy and relief. His elation grew further at her words.
“Class dismissed.”
In the blink of an eye, Nicholas had shot out of the room. Joseph moved more leisurely, coming to stand next to his wife who was whistling softly as she bent to pick up the forgotten shoe boxes.
“I think,” Joseph began, “that I might need some additional lessons. Some one on one training, as it were.”
“Really?” she asked, humor coloring her voice. “How do you propose we do that?”
“You, wearing your highest heels, in our bedroom in ten minutes,” he answered with a growl, “so I can properly observe your every movement.”
Hunger flashed in her eyes at his suggestion, before she schooled her features into a more businesslike expression.
“Perhaps you can see that these are returned to Charlotte,” she said, handing him the boxes. “It appears I have a private lesson to prepare for.”
With a wink, she turned, exaggerating the sway of her hips just slightly, and walked out of the room.
It seemed today wasn't such a bad day after all.