Just Pretend by tigereyes320
Title: Just Pretend
Author: Tigereyes320
Pairing/Character: Logan/Veronica Logan POV
Word Count:1000
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Logan thinks about the last few weeks and the effect it’s had on his relationship with Veronica possible missng scene from 3x08
Spoilers: Everything so far in season 3
A/N: This is in response to the vmlyricfic Challenge; Lyrics from January Friend was ‘Every single heart that beats/Pretend’ my object was hair scrunchies.
“But, it doesn’t really work that way. It’s not like this is all some new facet of my personality. You know who I am! You know what I do!”
“And?”
“And it isn’t going to change and if you can’t accept that, this isn’t going to work.”
“You know who I am, and you’re constantly expecting me to change. And even right now as you’re thinking, ‘Crap he’s got a point.’ You still think you’re ultimately right. I love you Veronica. I love you. W-Do you love me?”
“Yeah.”
“Then could we try to go a little easier on each other?”
“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.”
“So are we okay?”
“Yeah we’re okay.”
Veronica stood there holding on to him, hugging him close. She stepped away and kissed him, trying to tell him with the kiss what she couldn’t express out loud. He let her mouth convince him that the doubt he saw in her eyes were a shadow of the fear she’d felt over the last week.
Logan enjoyed being with Veronica in every way, from the sex to the spooning each others brains out afterwards. He enjoyed most the rare moments afterwards, when it seemed as if Veronica took down all her walls and they could be true to each other. There was no past behavior between them. It was just them being together in his bed.
She allowed him to remove her messenger bag and then her jacket and move them backwards toward the couch. He felt her hands move up his shoulders as she tugged off his brown shirt and as he tumbled them to the sofa, Veronica straddled his lap and kissed him some more.
Logan broke off the kiss and tucked her head under his chin, he held her tightly, and thanked whatever gods that exsisted that he got to her before the rapist finished. He was always happy to hold her close to him.
“Logan?”
“What?”
“I think we need to move this to the bedroom.” Veronica said as she sat up and began to kiss his neck and rub her hands against his chest under his t-shirt.
Logan felt his body automatically respond to Veronica. Of course he’d have to be dead ten years for Veronica not to excite him. “I don’t expect sex every time you come over here.”
“I know, but I want to take a little back for myself. I want you to know how I feel about you and I want to be with you.”
Logan knew it was a mistake, to the extent he could see the flashing neon sign telling him this was a mistake, but he allowed Veronica to take his hand and lead him into his bedroom. As she drew him down to the bed, he covered her body with his own and let her fingers and kisses lead him to a place where he could really believe they were okay.
An hour or so later, Logan became aware of Veronica snuggling closer to him. It actually made him feel better to know that subconciously she wanted him close to her, and often snuggled as close as she could to him, especially after they had sex. He wouldn’t let himself think that this was an effect of the cause of her first time that she still couldn’t remember. The time Duncan left her before she woke up. Veronica needed to be the one to leave first. He pretended it didn’t bother him. Of course he pretended a lot these days.
Logan put his arm around her and let himself fall asleep, trying not like this too much. Veronica sleeping in his arms. He knew as soon as it became routine he was destined to lose what he wanted most.
Several hours later he woke up and he knew she was gone. Back to her father’s house, back to the only man she’d ever truly let herself love and trust.
He got up to take a shower so he could hopefully go back to sleep without her. There was a damp hair scrunchy on the side of the sink. Logan picked it up and let the dampness from the fabric seep into the skin on his fingers. He’d bought her the scrunchies after she complained that she hated going home with damp hair. She felt the wet hair screamed ‘I’m having sex, Dad.’ So he bought them in the hopes she’d come by more often. Or just really maybe she would try to stay.
He looked at himself in the mirror and wondered if anyone had ever felt so alone in a relationship with the person they loved. He tossed the scrunchy back on the sink. It was time to make a choice, either he could stay and take whatever crumbs Veronica would allow herself to hand out to him, or he could leave and know that there was a chance this time they wouldn’t make their way back to each other.
Maybe if he gave her some time. If she could solve this case and live through it maybe they could get back to each other.
The problem was he wasn’t a hundred percent sure there was anything to come back to.
“She loves you, she said she loves you. You can fake that there is a relationship until Veronica realizes that you are in one.”
He got in the shower and minutes later fell back into bed, and if he curled into her pillow, that was his issue to deal with.
It was late when he woke up, after taking a shower and getting dressed, he decided he would see if he could catch up to her at the commissary. He tucked the now dry hair scrunchy into his t-shirt drawer and decided he would worry about his actions later. He’d give it back to her the next time she came over.
As he watched Veronica sit down, and let his call go to voice mail.
He just kept repeating to himself. “Just keep pretending Logan, all you have to do is keep pretending you’re enough for her.
She just doesn’t notice.
She loves you, all you have to do is to just keep pretending.
Just.
Keep.
Pretending.
One.
Day.
She’ll.
Love.
You.
Enough.”
FIN