Re: Fan - damn - tastic!vln_bbmfanNovember 1 2007, 04:22:23 UTC
Communication is definitely the key. My husband and I dated long distance for almost two years. In fact, after we got engaged, he was shocked when I told him that we had only actually spent 29 days together in all that time. Not much more than Jack and Ennis would have had in two years, but we had what they did not - communication in between meetings. I know for a fact that I talked on the phone more during those two years than I did in the other 27 yrs of my life. We have talked about it a couple of times, mainly because the opportunity to date had been there before he left town, but we didn't get together until afterwards, and we are both in total agreement that even if we could go back and change it, we wouldn't. It was a hellish two years, but we were forced to develop communications habits that have made our relationship much stronger than it ever could have been if we had never had that forced time apart.
As for Jack's giving of himself *that* way, I'm thinking that it has a lot to do with his upbringing. For the same reason OS Jack was too afraid to buck Ennis' rules, he wasn't willing to risk losing Ennis. I also think that OS/movie Jack was more accepting of who he was. No, he didn't come out of the closet, so to speak, but he wasn't so paranoid that he couldn't be with another man in those four years between BBM and the reunion with Ennis. I know some have said that Jack was no better than Ennis, because he remained married and didn't live openly gay, but I disagree. Jack didn't live openly gay because that would have been suicide in the time/world that the story took place, but he had no problem having sex with other men. That Ennis never slept with another man is not a tribute to his undying loyalty to Jack because he could barely bring himself to be with Jack, someone he loved with all his heart. Ennis' homophobia kept them apart, and it is also what made it impossible for Ennis to ever be with another man.
And I do think you will be happy with the outcome. In the end, however, as long as they are doing what makes them truly happy and content, does it really matter how adventuresome they are in bed? People are all extremes, and some need to keep pushing the boundaries to be happy, while others can find a comfort zone that is all they need to be happy.
And don't you dare apologize for the length of a post. Remember, size doesn't matter! *grin*
As for Jack's giving of himself *that* way, I'm thinking that it has a lot to do with his upbringing. For the same reason OS Jack was too afraid to buck Ennis' rules, he wasn't willing to risk losing Ennis. I also think that OS/movie Jack was more accepting of who he was. No, he didn't come out of the closet, so to speak, but he wasn't so paranoid that he couldn't be with another man in those four years between BBM and the reunion with Ennis. I know some have said that Jack was no better than Ennis, because he remained married and didn't live openly gay, but I disagree. Jack didn't live openly gay because that would have been suicide in the time/world that the story took place, but he had no problem having sex with other men. That Ennis never slept with another man is not a tribute to his undying loyalty to Jack because he could barely bring himself to be with Jack, someone he loved with all his heart. Ennis' homophobia kept them apart, and it is also what made it impossible for Ennis to ever be with another man.
And I do think you will be happy with the outcome. In the end, however, as long as they are doing what makes them truly happy and content, does it really matter how adventuresome they are in bed? People are all extremes, and some need to keep pushing the boundaries to be happy, while others can find a comfort zone that is all they need to be happy.
And don't you dare apologize for the length of a post. Remember, size doesn't matter! *grin*
Vicki
Queen of the Too Long Posts
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