Recently in my life.
Let's see. I now have a house for sure. We are still in the process of cleaning/fixing it up but I can call it my house. That makes me feel good about myself. Especially since I am only nineteen and have a house and a car and a job and people I can trust and rely upon. I have already gone farther in life than many of my other family members ever made it. There has been more drama of course but I am more able to deal with it lately than I normally am. I have been called a whore/slut/whore dog, but I guess I can't really say all that much about it since I have been getting around lately. Maybe one of these days I will either have her back or find someone that can do for me what she did/does. I am still not quite sure what exactly it is that makes her so irresistible. She holds power over me that no one knows to the full extent...I don't think she even realizes it. Thankfully. I quit trying to get her back and have recently accepted that she does love me, but, she does love someone else...it isn't my aim to try and stop that. I am just going to try to be nice to her in every way. And be there for her if she needs me. Maybe that way...if they don't work out...she will be more apt to give me another shot like she said so long ago. At least it is all out in the open now. Well, except for the fact that...yes, I do love her....but, yes, she does piss me off to no end sometimes...especially when she is all over him in front of me, or I can tell that they are doing stuff while I am either in the same room or they make the whole thing audible. Or when she is a smart ass to me, when I am trying to be nice to her. Oh well, I guess I can understand why she does it. It must be hard being in her position and all. So this is to her....Please just try to think about what your doing and contemplate things. Try treating me better if at all possible. I would appreciate it. This is probably the nicest I have felt like being to anyone in a long time. I am in such a pleasant mood tonight. On another note...I almost have all the loans completely paid off. Finally. Work is starting to piss me off. I am planing on trying to get hired on at Pulsar Plastics in Carlyle since it will be closer to my house than my current job is. Hope that goes well. This has been a long post I know but its alright. Is it wrong to let someone play with your heart because you love them and are willing to go through it just because you want to be close to them in some way??? Sex, proximity, compassion. And this isn't about T.S.