Crazy (B5, J/D, S3, rated PG)
Once upon a time, when Babylon 5 first poleaxed me, inspiring my first-ever writing, I decided to write at least two B5 stories a year. One for Christmas, and one for Valentine's Day. I've kept up the Christmas tradition pretty well, but last year was a total miss for Valentine's. I wasn't in a very Valentine mood, frankly. I did write most of this story last year, but couldn't make myself finish it. This year I'm slowly easing back into some fic writing and I dusted it off and wound it up. It'll have to count for both years.
I was riffing off the country song by Hunter Hayes, I Want Crazy. Some of the lyrics are quoted at the beginning and end of the story.
Rated PG
2072 words
Crazy
S3, Sic Transit Vir
Valentine's 2014/2015
“...tonight the midnight rules are breaking
There's no such thing as wild enough,
And maybe we just think too much
Who needs to play it safe in love?
Let's be crazy!”
I Want Crazy-Hunter Hayes
**********************
He was crazy. John Sheridan walked down the corridor, hands swinging loosely at his sides. Everyone said so, more or less. They said it to his face, and Lord knew what they said behind his back. Not that he cared, not any more.
He'd crossed his personal Rubicon in MedLab the other day, confessing what he already knew, what she must have suspected. Delenn was in his head and in his heart. And before that, when she'd fallen into his arms, drops of her blood staining his hands, rage both stoking and quelling desire. And before that, when he'd raised her hand to his lips; careful, cautious, fervently wishing for more. And then yesterday in his quarters when she stood so close he could feel the heat rising from her body. He began to walk faster and faster. She had fastened his jacket with awkward concern; he put his hand over hers, capturing it, claiming it. The moment was there, he saw it, knew it, felt the deep hollow ache that needed filled. Damn duty, damn responsibility, damn the stupid war. He wanted her then, he wanted her now, in his quarters, in hers, in the corridor, up against the wall.... This whole thing was driving him nuts.
*********************
It started with Susan.
Susan broke up their wordless conversation in the docking bay, herding them to the Zocalo to face the claps and cheers of the waiting crowd. Delenn took his arm, and he carefully put his around her, an unequivocal gesture of affection. Later, after Delenn left for her quarters, and he and Ivanova were on their way back to C&C, Susan blurted out, “Respectfully, sir, are you out of your mind?”
“What do you mean, Commander?” His back stiffened at the words and her tone. There wasn't much respect in it beyond the minimum due her commanding officer.
“Back there. You and Ambassador Delenn.”
He could hear the emphasis on Delenn's title. “Yes,” he replied, eyes narrowing. He really wasn't in the mood for this. “What about us?” Even through the growing chill he felt the warmth of the word 'us' on his lips. “Something you want to say?”
Susan examined his face and posture, shook her head, and said carefully, “If you must go ahead with it, be careful. Not everyone on the station will think it's a good idea.”
Swallowing his first hot response, he merely said, “It's none of their concern.” Icicles hung off his words and there was the unspoken addendum...or yours. Susan flushed, nodded briskly and she let it drop.
*****************
Then Garibaldi stuck his oar in.
Garibaldi had dropped Boggs off in MedLab and stationed Security both inside and outside of the facility. John was heading to his office to discuss the repercussions of the kidnapping and rescue with Susan. Underlying the pragmatic considerations was a swift current of anxiety, only kept within its banks with iron control.
Garibaldi caught up to him and touched his arm,“Captain, are you sure about this?”
John looked up swiftly, “You think that psychopath would be safer in the cells? As soon as they've checked him out you can transfer him.”
“That's not what I meant,” said Garibaldi, slowing his steps.
John turned his full attention to Michael. “What is it then?” He gestured towards the turbo-lift. “I need to get up there and reassure the Minbari ships personally. If I don't, they'll be coming down here themselves to check on Delenn and their captain.”
“Actually it's about you and Delenn,” Garibaldi looked down at his boots, obviously uncomfortable. “I mean, she took a knife for you. Lots of people saw it, and there'll be talk. Bound to be. And given the situation with sympathizers, NightWatch and such, maybe you two should tone it down a little.”
A growl escaped John's throat. “What the hell do you want me to do! Forget about her? Not an option!” His voice rose with each word, in thundering crescendo, but Garibaldi stood his ground, a pit bull facing a Doberman. “If nothing else, I have to work with her, dammit.”
“Just take it easy with the personal stuff. Wait till this is all over. Play it safe.” Michael's voice was placatory, but uncompromising. He essayed a smile. “Don't be a nut.”
John suddenly deflated, weary and doubt creasing his face. “She's still in surgery, Michael. We don't even know how bad it is yet.”
“Lennier's on watch, and Stephen's dealing with it personally. Hell, if it's bad, Lennier will probably just kill you and solve all your problems.” Garibaldi's joking tones couldn't hide his sympathy. “Just try not to lose it in public again. Too many people are watching.”
John nodded absently, then waved Garibaldi off and walked back to his office alone with his thoughts. He couldn't bring himself to care that people were watching. Let 'em watch.
*********************
Finally Stephen got the last word.
They couldn't even finish a lousy dinner. He'd called Delenn from MedLab, telling her what had happened, apologizing for leaving her to wait alone in his quarters, and finding a strange reassurance in the worry in her eyes. The nurse sealed shut the knife wound in his arm, then covered it with a tight bandage as he discussed the incident with Susan over the com. When that was done, Stephen had come in to officially sign him off as fit for duty.
“So are you going to make a habit of this?” asked Stephen as he ran a scanner over John.
“Of breaking up knife fights?” answered John, gingerly moving his arm up and down. He winced and Stephen turned away to pick up a hypospray.
“Painkiller,” he said briefly as he held the device against the upper portion of John's uninjured arm. “Not specifically knife fights, but fights in general. He put down the hypo and signed the lower portion of the tablet with a flourish. “You're good to go. But really, Captain... what were you thinking?”
John was getting tired of explaining himself. “I was not thinking, I was acting. In someone's defense, Vir's as it turned out. The safety of each and every person on this station is my responsibility!”
“And the health of each and every person is mine!” retorted Stephen. “That includes you!” He crossed his arms and stared at John. “I heard you were with Delenn when the call came in.”
John nodded grimly. Here it comes, he thought, another comment on my love life, or lack of same.
“Maybe you should channel some of this energy in that direction,” suggested Stephen.
“You want me to fight with Delenn?” said John, suddenly distracted by the possibilities--wrestling, maybe, more than fighting. Stephen continued talking but John was no longer paying attention. A demonstration of Earth sport might work. Shame he'd played baseball in school. Not as much scope in baseball.
“Are you listening to me?” said Stephen, obviously amused at the abstracted expression on John's face. “Stop showing off and show her how you feel. Get it out of your system, man! It's driving you crazy!”
John suddenly broke out in a broad grin. “Doctor's orders?”
“If that's what it takes,” replied Stephen with a wry smile.
******************
He'd meant to follow through on Stephen's suggestion, he truly had. Delenn had been right there with him, ready to take the next step. And then duty called. Again. Afterwards, he was about to go off duty but couldn't face his empty quarters. Frustration left him walking the corridors of his station. No one was around and it was quiet. He'd welcome another knife fight right about now.
The scent of orange blossom drifted across his senses, and looking up he realized he was in Green Sector, opposite the entrance to the gardens. It was late, it was insane, but still he took off his link, stuffing it deep into his pants pockets and headed towards the ambassadorial quarters.
Without pausing for thought or even to take a breath, he hit the door chime outside her quarters. He was done with caution, done with interruptions, done with what other people thought and what other people wanted. It was crazy, but he right now he wanted crazy. He needed to show her how he felt. He needed her to know.
The door opened. Her face glowed briefly then grew shadowed with concern. “John,” she said, with that musical note in her voice that made his name a song. “Is something wrong?” She gestured back into the room beyond the door. “It is late. Come inside if you wish to talk.”
John stepped over the threshold, let the door shut behind him and moved in close. He towered over her but she didn't flinch. Instead she smiled up at him. She was so strong; her personality both warm and intense.
“You had something to tell me? To ask me, perhaps?”
She was dressed for bed, a white robe wrapped around her, covering everything and revealing more.
“Yes,” he replied. He took her face between his hands. He could feel her breath against his palms, quick and sharp. “Everyone says I'm crazy, Delenn. What do you think?”
She examined him closely, turning her head, leaning into his hand. “I do not agree. You seem exceptionally mentally stable to me.”
“I'm not,” he said intently. “I'm crazy. I'm a dangerous man.” He dropped his hands to her shoulders, caressing her neck, rubbing his thumbs along her collarbone. He wondered if she would step back, out of range of his hands, and what he would do if she did.
Instead she slid into his arms and he ran his hands behind her back, pulling her even closer. She moved her hands between them, placing them flat against his broad chest and looked up at him. “I know who you are. I am aware you can be dangerous.” She looked up into his face, eyes shining with conviction and trust. “I do not wish to tame you, John.”
Her eyes...what the hell color were they? They changed with the shifting light. “Good,” he said in a low growl. The scent of her hair rose into his face. The coils were damp and hung straight except for tiny curls the clung to her forehead. She was just out of the shower and her robe clung to her curves. With his forefinger and thumb he took her chin and tilted her head slightly. “I am going to kiss you now. I've wanted to for quite some time, and if I don't do it soon, I really will lose my mind.”
Delenn said nothing but John felt, as well as saw, her mouth curve into a smile. Leaning over, he pressed his lips to hers. He'd wondered how she'd react, whether she was experienced at this peculiarly human form of physical contact, whether she'd even like it. The part of his mind that wasn't instantly short-circuited thought it was going well. It certainly was for him. Her back arched and he almost groaned as she pressed against him. His head was spinning as he came up for air but she pulled his lips back to hers. Apparently she did like it. How lucky could he get? He was crazy in love with a beautiful woman, and she liked crazy.
But I don't want good and I don't want good enough
I want can't sleep, can't breathe without your love
Front porch and one more kiss, it doesn't make sense to anybody else
Who cares if you're all I think about,
I've searched the world and I know now,
It ain't right if you ain't lost your mind
Yeah, I don't want easy, I want crazy
Are you with me baby? Let's be crazy
I wanna be scared, don't wanna know why
Wanna feel good, don't have to be right
The world makes all kinds of rules for love
I say you gotta let it do what it does
I don't want just another hug and a kiss goodnight
Catchin' up calls and a date sometimes
I love that we're rebels, and we still believe
We're the kind of crazy people wish that they could be, yeah
This entry was originally posted at http://vjs2259.dreamwidth.org/358420.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
I was riffing off the country song by Hunter Hayes, I Want Crazy. Some of the lyrics are quoted at the beginning and end of the story.
Rated PG
2072 words
Crazy
S3, Sic Transit Vir
Valentine's 2014/2015
“...tonight the midnight rules are breaking
There's no such thing as wild enough,
And maybe we just think too much
Who needs to play it safe in love?
Let's be crazy!”
I Want Crazy-Hunter Hayes
**********************
He was crazy. John Sheridan walked down the corridor, hands swinging loosely at his sides. Everyone said so, more or less. They said it to his face, and Lord knew what they said behind his back. Not that he cared, not any more.
He'd crossed his personal Rubicon in MedLab the other day, confessing what he already knew, what she must have suspected. Delenn was in his head and in his heart. And before that, when she'd fallen into his arms, drops of her blood staining his hands, rage both stoking and quelling desire. And before that, when he'd raised her hand to his lips; careful, cautious, fervently wishing for more. And then yesterday in his quarters when she stood so close he could feel the heat rising from her body. He began to walk faster and faster. She had fastened his jacket with awkward concern; he put his hand over hers, capturing it, claiming it. The moment was there, he saw it, knew it, felt the deep hollow ache that needed filled. Damn duty, damn responsibility, damn the stupid war. He wanted her then, he wanted her now, in his quarters, in hers, in the corridor, up against the wall.... This whole thing was driving him nuts.
*********************
It started with Susan.
Susan broke up their wordless conversation in the docking bay, herding them to the Zocalo to face the claps and cheers of the waiting crowd. Delenn took his arm, and he carefully put his around her, an unequivocal gesture of affection. Later, after Delenn left for her quarters, and he and Ivanova were on their way back to C&C, Susan blurted out, “Respectfully, sir, are you out of your mind?”
“What do you mean, Commander?” His back stiffened at the words and her tone. There wasn't much respect in it beyond the minimum due her commanding officer.
“Back there. You and Ambassador Delenn.”
He could hear the emphasis on Delenn's title. “Yes,” he replied, eyes narrowing. He really wasn't in the mood for this. “What about us?” Even through the growing chill he felt the warmth of the word 'us' on his lips. “Something you want to say?”
Susan examined his face and posture, shook her head, and said carefully, “If you must go ahead with it, be careful. Not everyone on the station will think it's a good idea.”
Swallowing his first hot response, he merely said, “It's none of their concern.” Icicles hung off his words and there was the unspoken addendum...or yours. Susan flushed, nodded briskly and she let it drop.
*****************
Then Garibaldi stuck his oar in.
Garibaldi had dropped Boggs off in MedLab and stationed Security both inside and outside of the facility. John was heading to his office to discuss the repercussions of the kidnapping and rescue with Susan. Underlying the pragmatic considerations was a swift current of anxiety, only kept within its banks with iron control.
Garibaldi caught up to him and touched his arm,“Captain, are you sure about this?”
John looked up swiftly, “You think that psychopath would be safer in the cells? As soon as they've checked him out you can transfer him.”
“That's not what I meant,” said Garibaldi, slowing his steps.
John turned his full attention to Michael. “What is it then?” He gestured towards the turbo-lift. “I need to get up there and reassure the Minbari ships personally. If I don't, they'll be coming down here themselves to check on Delenn and their captain.”
“Actually it's about you and Delenn,” Garibaldi looked down at his boots, obviously uncomfortable. “I mean, she took a knife for you. Lots of people saw it, and there'll be talk. Bound to be. And given the situation with sympathizers, NightWatch and such, maybe you two should tone it down a little.”
A growl escaped John's throat. “What the hell do you want me to do! Forget about her? Not an option!” His voice rose with each word, in thundering crescendo, but Garibaldi stood his ground, a pit bull facing a Doberman. “If nothing else, I have to work with her, dammit.”
“Just take it easy with the personal stuff. Wait till this is all over. Play it safe.” Michael's voice was placatory, but uncompromising. He essayed a smile. “Don't be a nut.”
John suddenly deflated, weary and doubt creasing his face. “She's still in surgery, Michael. We don't even know how bad it is yet.”
“Lennier's on watch, and Stephen's dealing with it personally. Hell, if it's bad, Lennier will probably just kill you and solve all your problems.” Garibaldi's joking tones couldn't hide his sympathy. “Just try not to lose it in public again. Too many people are watching.”
John nodded absently, then waved Garibaldi off and walked back to his office alone with his thoughts. He couldn't bring himself to care that people were watching. Let 'em watch.
*********************
Finally Stephen got the last word.
They couldn't even finish a lousy dinner. He'd called Delenn from MedLab, telling her what had happened, apologizing for leaving her to wait alone in his quarters, and finding a strange reassurance in the worry in her eyes. The nurse sealed shut the knife wound in his arm, then covered it with a tight bandage as he discussed the incident with Susan over the com. When that was done, Stephen had come in to officially sign him off as fit for duty.
“So are you going to make a habit of this?” asked Stephen as he ran a scanner over John.
“Of breaking up knife fights?” answered John, gingerly moving his arm up and down. He winced and Stephen turned away to pick up a hypospray.
“Painkiller,” he said briefly as he held the device against the upper portion of John's uninjured arm. “Not specifically knife fights, but fights in general. He put down the hypo and signed the lower portion of the tablet with a flourish. “You're good to go. But really, Captain... what were you thinking?”
John was getting tired of explaining himself. “I was not thinking, I was acting. In someone's defense, Vir's as it turned out. The safety of each and every person on this station is my responsibility!”
“And the health of each and every person is mine!” retorted Stephen. “That includes you!” He crossed his arms and stared at John. “I heard you were with Delenn when the call came in.”
John nodded grimly. Here it comes, he thought, another comment on my love life, or lack of same.
“Maybe you should channel some of this energy in that direction,” suggested Stephen.
“You want me to fight with Delenn?” said John, suddenly distracted by the possibilities--wrestling, maybe, more than fighting. Stephen continued talking but John was no longer paying attention. A demonstration of Earth sport might work. Shame he'd played baseball in school. Not as much scope in baseball.
“Are you listening to me?” said Stephen, obviously amused at the abstracted expression on John's face. “Stop showing off and show her how you feel. Get it out of your system, man! It's driving you crazy!”
John suddenly broke out in a broad grin. “Doctor's orders?”
“If that's what it takes,” replied Stephen with a wry smile.
******************
He'd meant to follow through on Stephen's suggestion, he truly had. Delenn had been right there with him, ready to take the next step. And then duty called. Again. Afterwards, he was about to go off duty but couldn't face his empty quarters. Frustration left him walking the corridors of his station. No one was around and it was quiet. He'd welcome another knife fight right about now.
The scent of orange blossom drifted across his senses, and looking up he realized he was in Green Sector, opposite the entrance to the gardens. It was late, it was insane, but still he took off his link, stuffing it deep into his pants pockets and headed towards the ambassadorial quarters.
Without pausing for thought or even to take a breath, he hit the door chime outside her quarters. He was done with caution, done with interruptions, done with what other people thought and what other people wanted. It was crazy, but he right now he wanted crazy. He needed to show her how he felt. He needed her to know.
The door opened. Her face glowed briefly then grew shadowed with concern. “John,” she said, with that musical note in her voice that made his name a song. “Is something wrong?” She gestured back into the room beyond the door. “It is late. Come inside if you wish to talk.”
John stepped over the threshold, let the door shut behind him and moved in close. He towered over her but she didn't flinch. Instead she smiled up at him. She was so strong; her personality both warm and intense.
“You had something to tell me? To ask me, perhaps?”
She was dressed for bed, a white robe wrapped around her, covering everything and revealing more.
“Yes,” he replied. He took her face between his hands. He could feel her breath against his palms, quick and sharp. “Everyone says I'm crazy, Delenn. What do you think?”
She examined him closely, turning her head, leaning into his hand. “I do not agree. You seem exceptionally mentally stable to me.”
“I'm not,” he said intently. “I'm crazy. I'm a dangerous man.” He dropped his hands to her shoulders, caressing her neck, rubbing his thumbs along her collarbone. He wondered if she would step back, out of range of his hands, and what he would do if she did.
Instead she slid into his arms and he ran his hands behind her back, pulling her even closer. She moved her hands between them, placing them flat against his broad chest and looked up at him. “I know who you are. I am aware you can be dangerous.” She looked up into his face, eyes shining with conviction and trust. “I do not wish to tame you, John.”
Her eyes...what the hell color were they? They changed with the shifting light. “Good,” he said in a low growl. The scent of her hair rose into his face. The coils were damp and hung straight except for tiny curls the clung to her forehead. She was just out of the shower and her robe clung to her curves. With his forefinger and thumb he took her chin and tilted her head slightly. “I am going to kiss you now. I've wanted to for quite some time, and if I don't do it soon, I really will lose my mind.”
Delenn said nothing but John felt, as well as saw, her mouth curve into a smile. Leaning over, he pressed his lips to hers. He'd wondered how she'd react, whether she was experienced at this peculiarly human form of physical contact, whether she'd even like it. The part of his mind that wasn't instantly short-circuited thought it was going well. It certainly was for him. Her back arched and he almost groaned as she pressed against him. His head was spinning as he came up for air but she pulled his lips back to hers. Apparently she did like it. How lucky could he get? He was crazy in love with a beautiful woman, and she liked crazy.
But I don't want good and I don't want good enough
I want can't sleep, can't breathe without your love
Front porch and one more kiss, it doesn't make sense to anybody else
Who cares if you're all I think about,
I've searched the world and I know now,
It ain't right if you ain't lost your mind
Yeah, I don't want easy, I want crazy
Are you with me baby? Let's be crazy
I wanna be scared, don't wanna know why
Wanna feel good, don't have to be right
The world makes all kinds of rules for love
I say you gotta let it do what it does
I don't want just another hug and a kiss goodnight
Catchin' up calls and a date sometimes
I love that we're rebels, and we still believe
We're the kind of crazy people wish that they could be, yeah
This entry was originally posted at http://vjs2259.dreamwidth.org/358420.html. Please comment there using OpenID.