Reveille (B5, J/D, S2, rated PG)
I've wanted to write this prompt ever since I saw it last year (year before?) This is complete, but merely a snippet of an introduction, with hopefully more to come. The prompter wanted Delenn's pov, I think, but I'm not there yet. My apologies.
Beta'd by nolivingman , ufgator , and this_is_r . I appreciate it, guys.
Season 2, episode 4 (A Distant Star)-episode 8 (A Race Thru Dark Places)
2917 words, PG at worst, written for lgbtfest 2010
Prompt 469: Babylon 5, Delenn, JMS originally planned that when Delenn went through her transformation at the end of S1, she wouldn't just change from Minbari to human, but also from male to female. If this had happened (either male to female like in JMS's plan, or going AU after S1 and having her change from female to male), how would it have affected Delenn and his/her relationship with Sinclair/Sheridan
Standard disclaimer applies; not my characters or settings or backgrounds. But they are my words.
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"Mornin', Captain." Garibaldi's breezy tone sounded loudly in the near empty mess hall. It had just opened for breakfast, and the service staff was still filling the hot water urns and laying out the silverware.
"How are things going, Mr. Garibaldi?" replied Captain Sheridan. His tray held a bowl of what looked like a curdled milk product. He reached over and snagged two pieces of wheat bread, placing them briefly under the flash toaster.
Garibaldi sniffed the air appreciatively. "That smells good." He added some of the bread to his tray, along with a small plastite tube of preserves.
Sheridan chuckled at Garibaldi's eagerness. They didn't get this every day; it was a bit of a treat--the bread too, actually.
"You see Captain Maynard off okay?" Garibaldi moved towards one of the long tables and set down his tray.
"I did." Sheridan smiled at the memory of Jack's boisterous farewell over the com. "That was some visit." He sat at the table where Garibaldi had already placed his tray. He tasted his tea, and said "I'm getting the impression things never settle down around here." Setting down his cup, he said more formally, "And it's taking me some time to separate what I need to know from all the background noise. Your report on the shoplifters was appreciated, short and to the point."
"No problem," said Garibaldi as he squished the red jelly out onto his toast. "All part of the service." Munching at the bread, he added, "And no, things never settle down here. Nothing stays the same." He looked at the standard glop on Sheridan's tray with little enthusiasm. "Always something new." Sheridan continued eating the nutritionally balanced, non-allergenic, flavor neutral, standard EarthForce-authorized breakfast, as Garibaldi added casually, "How are things shaking out with the ambassadors?"
"Okay," replied Sheridan, laying down his spoon and picking up a piece of toast. "It's been over a month, and I think they've all gotten used to the change in command. The Minbari still have some issues, but I suppose that was to be expected."
Garibaldi raised an eyebrow in question, "You're not talking about Delenn? He...I mean she, has always seemed pretty open-minded."
Sheridan shot him a warning look.
Garibaldi added hastily, "I got the memo, about the gender pronouns and stuff. It's just hard to get used to. I'd known...her for a couple of years already. We'd even hung out a little, caught some vids. It's hard to get used to."
Sheridan nodded thoughtfully. "It must be difficult. Of course I met her for the first time after her transformation. When we had our first informal meeting, I asked how she wanted to be referred to, and she made it clear she's female, and Minbari. So that's how we'll deal with it."
"That must have been some conversation," remarked Garibaldi uncomfortably. He took a sip of water.
"My dad always said that respect was the first rule of diplomacy. Find out how someone thinks of themselves, try to understand that self-image, and then grant them every courtesy you can." Sheridan smiled slightly, "As long as it doesn't interfere with the mission, of course. But there's no harm in altering pronouns."
"It's not just language though, is it? Even in this day and age, there are some differences between male and female," protested Garibaldi.
"Greater than the differences between human and Minbari?" replied Sheridan.
Garibaldi looked struck by this. Contemplative, he wondered, "It must be something...to make yourself over completely, into a whole new man. I mean, woman."
Sheridan knew something of Garibaldi's history from his file. He scrutinized the security chief, who was not inexperienced in re-inventing himself.
Garibaldi continued, "I wonder what bothered her more; changing from full Minbari to partly human, or changing from male to female? I still don't understand why she did it, her explanation is nuts.But it was a pretty gutsy thing to do."
Sheridan simply replied, "She's a fascinating person." He lapsed into silence, thinking about what he'd just said, and the feelings that came along with the thoughts.
Garibaldi nodded, his mouth crammed with the last of his toast. He swallowed and said, "I'm due to give a briefing to my people, Captain. I'll see you later today at the staff meeting."
Sheridan nodded absently in dismissal, and Garibaldi picked up his tray and left to start his day.
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The next two weeks were the now usual blur of conference calls and staff meetings, diplomatic events and never ending paperwork. It went quickly, but now Sheridan felt more in control, and more comfortable with his new role. The new job was similar to the old in that he was ultimately responsible for what amounted to a city in space. But he'd had near-total control captaining a starship, and it was sometimes frustrating to have to deal with civilians not under his command, and even more so with the various ambassadors that had authority almost equal to his own. Protocol and diplomacy were part of EarthForce training, especially at the field officer level, and captains of long-range ships were expected to act as good-will ambassadors to the worlds they visited. This was different. As a kid, he'd learned from watching his father. He'd learned more from every officer with whom he'd served. Now he learned from watching the other ambassadors, and especially Ambassador Delenn.
Sheridan couldn't help but admire the Minbari's tact and grace in dealing with the other races; he noticed that some deferred to her and solicited her arbitration in matters large and small. After the initial surprised reactions, none of the other diplomats seemed flummoxed by her change, or maybe they were just consummate professionals who took this sort of thing in stride. On the other hand, maybe gender was a more fluid concept in some of the other races. He made a mental note to discuss it with Dr. Franklin at some point.
Sheridan sighed; Franklin had almost made it to reprimand stage with the situation involving Mariah Cirrus. It was always tricky when professional relations turned personal. Ms. Cirrus was out of her place and out of her time; and was having to adjust to a lot of changes, decades of changes. The woman had seemed so lost at first; maybe that was what drew Franklin to her. The doctor had a passion for helping others, which meant he was certainly in the right business.
"Hello, Captain,"
He looked up to see Dr. Franklin standing in front of him at the juncture of two corridors, one of which led to MedLab.
"Speak of the devil," Sheridan replied. "I was just thinking about you. Did you see the ISN interview with Ms. Cirrus?"
Franklin's smile faltered for a moment, then he said, "No, I must have missed it."
"It went pretty well, at least she held her own. I think she's going to be all right." Sheridan tried to be reassuring. He cocked his head at the doctor in question. "Were you on your way to the staff meeting? Care to walk with me?"
"Yes, I was, and yes, I will." Franklin fell into step alongside the Captain. "I don't get out of MedLab enough. Sometimes I think I live in that place." He sighed, and rubbed his temples as if to ease a headache. "It's been quite a week. I wish I'd gotten a chance to examine Abel Horn. What they did to that man was horrible. Hollowing out his mind, and yet pieces of his past life kept leaking through. Even with all the research that's been done on telepathy and mind-wipes, we don't understand the basics of identity."
Sheridan looked at Franklin thoughtfully as they walked down the corridor together. "I was actually going to ask you something in that line. What do you know about the various races' concept of gender?"
Franklin smiled briefly at Sheridan, then asked carefully, "Does this have anything to do with your dinner date with Delenn tonight?"
"No!" exclaimed Sheridan, then, "Maybe." He looked down, and rubbed the back of his neck, trying to hide his embarrassment. "Oh hell. Yes, it does. But it's not really a date. She wanted my help with something, and suggested dinner." He eyed the doctor. "How did you hear about it anyway?"
Franklin laughed, his chuckle warm and open. "These things get around, Captain."
Sheridan continued looking at Franklin suspiciously, and the doctor quickly added, "I didn't eavesdrop this morning. Someone must have overheard you two in the Zocalo and well, you know how people talk. I generally don't hear much station gossip, but we had a lunch meeting for the medical staff, things got casual, and it came up in conversation. It was just a mention, no speculation."
"Good," replied Sheridan shortly. "It's a little awkward, given my past history with the Minbari, and her recent transformation. And it's no one else's business anyway." He eyed Franklin, wondering how much to confide in the doctor. He'd known the man for years, but this was only the second time he'd worked with him. "It's been quite a change for her. We've discussed it, but briefly, and I realized I have no idea how the Minbari might feel about it. Maybe they change sex often; would we know? Do we need to?"
"They're a private people," started Franklin slowly. "I know a bit about their anatomy, but not a great deal about their culture. Gender is at heart a cultural concept. They have male and female sexes, at a minimum, but I'm afraid I don't know much more. And Delenn is unique in any case, with her partly human physiology. I would think that was the greater change, adjusting to her new biochemistry."
"Who's to say?" said Sheridan. "I suppose it depends on what gender means to them, whether they have specific roles for different sexes....their culture is so ritualistic, if many of their traditions and customs are based on gender, that might be the bigger adjustment for her. Maybe I'll find out more, as we get to know each other better."
"You may," replied Franklin hesitantly, then adding, "Our identities are formed by many circumstances; where we're born, how we're raised, our biology and our environment, our culture. She may be trying to find her new self, maybe by assessing how others react to her."
"Do you think so?" asked Sheridan. "She seems self-composed, so sure of herself."
Franklin shook his head, as if to close off the subject, "I'm not sure." Sheridan looked thoughtful, but at that point they reached the conference room, and both men dropped the topic as they joined the rest of the command staff.
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The dinner had been a huge success. John hadn't felt so relaxed or laughed so much in years. He was still smiling when he reached his office, ready to bed down for the night. Susan hadn't expressed much interest in his attempts at sharing the humor, so he'd let it go, preferring to hug the warm glow of the evening to himself. He didn't know if it was the discomfort of his perch in his office chair, or the inability of his mind to stop rolling through the conversations of the day, but he couldn't sleep. Male or female, human or Minbari; he liked the ambassador. There was a feeling of anticipation, like starting a new and exciting project. At the same time, there was a feeling of security, like arriving at a home port after a long time away. Drifting in and out of dreams, he woke from one with a start of surprise, and some embarrassment. Shifting uncomfortably in the chair, he wryly noted that his body at least seemed to have decided that Delenn was female.
He heard a deep sigh, and asked softly, "Susan? Are you awake?"
"I am now," came the semi-caustic response of his XO.
Shadows shifted in the dimly lit room, and he could just see that she had pulled herself upright and was facing him, still wrapped in her blanket. Calling out, "Lights, low," John sat up straight and shoved his chair closer to the desk, concealing his increasingly uninteresting condition. He felt the need to talk, and he counted Susan as a friend as well as fellow officer. Not knowing where to start, he hesitated a moment, then stated abruptly, "I had a good time tonight with Ambassador Delenn."
Susan stared at him, bleary-eyed, and nodded. "Yes?" she said uncomprehendingly.
Trying again, John said, "I wasn't expecting to like her quite so much."
Susan replied testily, "I like her too. She does her job, and supports the overall mission of the station." When he didn't answer, she went on,"Delenn's an important part of the functioning of Babylon 5, and we all like her." Finally, with barely concealed exasperation at John's continued silence, Susan concluded, "What's the matter, John?"
John leaned forward, resting his elbows on the desk, and changed tactics. "What kind of person was she? Before?"
"The same," Susan began, her voice still dragging and drifting back towards sleep. Then with dawning realization she said, "Oh, you mean the cocoon thing."
John, impatient with the delay, was just about to speak again when Susan continued. "Delenn is the same person as far as I can tell, only female and part human. It was a big change, and there was a period of adjustment, but I think she's past that now." Susan, more awake, sounded definite and assured, but added cautiously, "Is there a problem?"
"No, no. I just, well, that is.... You should have seen her tonight, Susan! She wore human clothes, a black dress. I just can't picture her as male, I mean, as she was before. I've seen pictures, of course, but...." He broke off in frustration; he couldn't seem to find the words. The idea of Delenn's transformation had astounded him when he'd first heard of it. Then, after that first look that had passed between them...his thoughts stalled; there were no words for what he felt then. Still, he hadn't been bothered by the idea of her change, not at the time. It certainly bothered him now. Uneasily he wondered what that said about him.
"No reason you should picture her differently. She's not male now, and you didn't know her before."
Brisk neutrality filled Susan's voice.
John felt lost in a minefield of uncertain and unexpected emotion. He was confused, and he didn't like it. He said uncertainly, "I just want to understand."
Susan went on, more sympathetically, "Delenn's heart, her mind, her soul if you believe in that sort of thing...that's all the same. She broke off, then cursed as her comlink started to vibrate.
John glanced at the chronometer on the desk. It was 0530, and time for Susan's normal early shift. As she struggled briefly, trying to disentangle herself from the blanket around her, he wished he could explain more. But his feelings were also tangled up, warm friendly attraction tempered by the realization of just how strange it all was. Distracted by his own thoughts, he found himself somewhat shocked at Susan's next words.
"Whatever attraction you feel, whether as a friend or more, it is what it is. The Minbari may be an indirect, evasive bunch, but they always manage to make their views known. If she's uncomfortable with it, she'll let you know. Give it some time, and as long you enjoy each other's company, where's the harm?" She grabbed her jacket and headed for the door, as if afraid to wait and see how her advice was being taken. "I'm on early duty this morning, Captain. I'll see you later in C&C."
John sat for a moment, considering what Susan had said, and putting it together with Garibaldi and Franklin's comments as well. This was a path he hadn't ever considered taking, but from bits of their conversation last night, Delenn hadn't anticipated all the twists and turns of her actions either. Maybe they would travel some parts of this path together. Maybe....
All the possibilities that thought opened up were drowned out by the chime of the computer alarm he had set the night before. "Captain Sheridan, the time is 0600."
John stood and stretched out the kinks in his back. He reached into his desk drawer, searching for the spare shaver he kept there. "That was some wake up call," he said, thinking of his dream last night, apprehension mixed with a spark of excitement. Whistling tunelessly, he activated the device, beginning the process of cleaning up for work. There was no mirror in the office, so he stared at himself in the inactive monitor screen on the wall, wondering what the new day would bring. As he tilted his head back and started to shave, he realized that it was not only a new day...it was a whole new ballgame.