yeah, my life is so fucking hard.
I'm beginning to really seriously consider pulling out of startrekbigbang - again. Every word is a struggle, and has been for weeks. I'm barely halfway through the plot, and, if I were to finish it, I'd have to write the whole thing in about a week, because I'm going away (again) next Saturday, sans laptop.
It's a big fucking weight on my chest, and I want to write Trek!fic (for hc_bingo and the like), but if I type a word of Trek!fic outside of this fucking Big Bang I feel guilty - like I'm letting myself down or some such bullshit. It's just not inspiring me anymore - exactly like last year. Wow, I'm good at this. I'm too ambitious, I think, and long fics only work for me if I don't have to write them to a deadline.
I don't know. It looks like I'm asking for advice, but what I really think I'm asking for is for someone to tell me that it's okay to drop out. ♥
It's a big fucking weight on my chest, and I want to write Trek!fic (for hc_bingo and the like), but if I type a word of Trek!fic outside of this fucking Big Bang I feel guilty - like I'm letting myself down or some such bullshit. It's just not inspiring me anymore - exactly like last year. Wow, I'm good at this. I'm too ambitious, I think, and long fics only work for me if I don't have to write them to a deadline.
I don't know. It looks like I'm asking for advice, but what I really think I'm asking for is for someone to tell me that it's okay to drop out. ♥