why don't you just go away?

[vixenpixie7]

i can't seem to get my head straight

i'm still trying to justify
my being here
on this godforsaken ocean
while the love of my goddamn life
is 3000 miles away
while my purpose for
being better
than i am
is so so far
from anything i know
now
from anything i remember
from anything i really care
about

does it really have to be this way?

i don't have to define myself
by you
but it seems to be
the only thing
i really
know how to do.