(no subject)
my anxiety is really terrible lately. i'm on drugs for it and i thought that they were helping but yesterday i called off work because i was puking and today i woke up in a panic worried that i'd get fired and that my boyfriend was dead or something horrible had happened to him. i'm so tired of being paranoid or worried to the max that something really bad is going to happen. i had an appointment with a new therapist today but i slept too long and didn't make it. i called her and left a message but ignored her call when she called back. what's wrong with me? why can't i just be an adult and own up to the fact that i need this and stop being so retarded about getting help for myself? i would sacrifice anything to help a friend or family, but when it comes to really working hard on something for myself and own mental well being i give up the first chance i get. what really gets me is that i don't feel like i'll ever be able to do this for myself and that i just plain suck at being a good person.