sometimes she cries in the middle of the night, why?....simply b/c she cannot feel..
"The events which transpired five thousand years ago;
Five years ago or five minutes ago, have determined
what will happen five minutes from now; five years
From now or five thousand years from now.
All history is a current event." - Dr John Henrik Clarke
fast forward........stop.....rewind....and repeat.......
its all coming back.....time won't heal my wounds....instead it acts as a scalpel
picking at their scabs whenever it so pleases...........
....its not deja vu.....its reality.....
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i can't stop whats coming.........
can't stop history from repeating..............
my soul is fleeting..........fleeting............
where off to Ms.........where off to Ms..........
destination unknown.................
searching for a place to go home to.......to call home....................
looking to land.........no room..........no place to land......
no vacant space..........no place.......no solace.......
always snatched................
ripped away......taken away..........detached
a vagabond...................a nomad.....
a restless scavenger................
.........sacrilegious ....profane martyr.......
..........acquisition expired............
scalpel please.......dig another hole.......make it home....
.....i'll make it home.........i'll call it home.........
......destination unknown.....................
........should i be disturbed.............
should i be disgusted..................
should i be horrified................
should i be worried...............
.....i don't know whats wrong with me.....but i've reached a point where....i have no respect for mankind whatsoever.....to the degree in which.... i don't even react to things such as the pics above....i feel nothing......nothing....nothing for anyone at all..........nothing at all........
lacking compassion....lacking sympathy.....lacking pity.....
where once i atleast laughed at their patheticness......their mortality....their misery.....their weaknesses....their helplessness....their vulnerability......their humanity.......now i can't even bring myself.....to even grin at their worthlessness.......
i can only feel........ when pain is being inflicted upon me.........be it emotional or physical.........other than that........i'm emotionally distant.....cold.....morbid....detached...
...and fleeting in and out of consciousness....
.....insomnia and fatigue..................
almost zombie-like....................
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when i look around.......when i stop to look inside......when i peer into their eyes........desolate....hollow.....i see nothing inside...............
death......... death............ death.......
all i see is your humanity.............
death.....death......death...........
soulless.......soulless..........soulless...........
all i see is your death......................................
they're all dead.....all of them.......they just don't know it yet.............
what are you doing?........
why are you rushing?........
where are you going?.........
we're all waiting......waiting.......waiting.....
........waiting for something........
awaiting death............
born to die....................................
..............a tragedy waiting to happen............
...all we are is dead men walking..............................
dead men walking....
dead men walking.......
dead men walking........
.................life=the ultimate tragic comedy..................
put the mask on....take the mask off.....put the make up on.....take the make up off......new shade of lipstick...pursing ruby red..concealing the lies that were fed....rim the eyes thick..excentuate......lay it on real thick...cake it on....all traces gone...
change your name....change your mane....pitch black.......let it loose.....slick it back.....a new dress to impress......you're too cold to caress.....a new pair of shoes..and a new set of blues...
a new disguise.......toped with a pair of glasses to frame the lies...bleeding mascara....tears in disgiuse........
don't give yourself away.....but don't stray.....
just sway to and fro......
keep'em guessing....
always running........like a fugitive on the run......why am i running.........what am i running from?
why am i hiding? what am i doing?
where am i going?
but theres no place to hide..........no where to go.........
i can't let them get to me...............
i can't let them find me............
i can't let them see me........
but whos they?
its me.... its me...... its me
.............destination unknown................
is it my fate i see being reflected in their eyes?
......my demise..............