Next step in life.
Okay, well I will b off soon and I know it needs to be done.
School is over now. I am keeping my uniform for sentimental reasons and I can't tell if I am sad I am leaving school or not. I don't think I am, I mean, I will miss my friends, I will miss Mrs Pivac but I have to leave. It is the next step. If I don't well then that just sucks.
I got my Bible so I am happy.
I made time to spend time with my friends and I will organize (yeah thats rights) another dinner in late January hopefully for us to say our goodbyes.
It is going to be very hard to go north and leave Mike behind. I am going to miss him so much even thinking about it makes my stomach hurt. Anti-fuzzies is what I have decided to call it. I love him so much. I feel so bad. I am going to be so depressed next year without him. Two weeks was like hell. I miss his hugs and cuddles the way he is always so warm to hug and knows exactly what to say to make me smile.
I am going to make the most of the time I have with him. The next time I will see him is Christmas Day. I have got him a flamez kit for his car to shoot flames out of the exhaust and
FFVIII. He let me choose what FFVII things I wanted off trademe but now he has gone and brought me more. I told him I don't deserve it and he said 'that i deserve nothing but the best'. Such a lie. I feel so useless sometimes, I am so useless. Anyway. Gonna miss him.
He has a few days off in January but that is when Dad wants me to go up to Tauranga to help him with the Blues Brews and BBQ and it could be the last year we do it. So I have decided to force Mike to come up to Tauranga with Dad and I. It seems like the only solution. I want to spend time with both. Mike is reluctant that is understandable but I think he will enjoy himself. Once we are in Taupo I will tell him about my Aunty and Uncle and the flowers ect. I'm sure it will all be good.
Christmas is going to be interesting. I have to get something for Sonya. I have been having bad dreams about her for a while. When she pushes me and so I snap and yell at her saying real mean things. Mike says cause I hate her, but how can I hate her when I feel so guilty for my sub-conscious thinking those things.
*Sigh* I don't know.
I have to go to town to:
buy sonyas present,
book for driving test,
do test at school,
buy knee highs,
and get another present for mike. (but i dont know what ahhhh!)
School is over now. I am keeping my uniform for sentimental reasons and I can't tell if I am sad I am leaving school or not. I don't think I am, I mean, I will miss my friends, I will miss Mrs Pivac but I have to leave. It is the next step. If I don't well then that just sucks.
I got my Bible so I am happy.
I made time to spend time with my friends and I will organize (yeah thats rights) another dinner in late January hopefully for us to say our goodbyes.
It is going to be very hard to go north and leave Mike behind. I am going to miss him so much even thinking about it makes my stomach hurt. Anti-fuzzies is what I have decided to call it. I love him so much. I feel so bad. I am going to be so depressed next year without him. Two weeks was like hell. I miss his hugs and cuddles the way he is always so warm to hug and knows exactly what to say to make me smile.
I am going to make the most of the time I have with him. The next time I will see him is Christmas Day. I have got him a flamez kit for his car to shoot flames out of the exhaust and
FFVIII. He let me choose what FFVII things I wanted off trademe but now he has gone and brought me more. I told him I don't deserve it and he said 'that i deserve nothing but the best'. Such a lie. I feel so useless sometimes, I am so useless. Anyway. Gonna miss him.
He has a few days off in January but that is when Dad wants me to go up to Tauranga to help him with the Blues Brews and BBQ and it could be the last year we do it. So I have decided to force Mike to come up to Tauranga with Dad and I. It seems like the only solution. I want to spend time with both. Mike is reluctant that is understandable but I think he will enjoy himself. Once we are in Taupo I will tell him about my Aunty and Uncle and the flowers ect. I'm sure it will all be good.
Christmas is going to be interesting. I have to get something for Sonya. I have been having bad dreams about her for a while. When she pushes me and so I snap and yell at her saying real mean things. Mike says cause I hate her, but how can I hate her when I feel so guilty for my sub-conscious thinking those things.
*Sigh* I don't know.
I have to go to town to:
buy sonyas present,
book for driving test,
do test at school,
buy knee highs,
and get another present for mike. (but i dont know what ahhhh!)