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We went to my uncles birthday party earlier til like 9. It was funny because my aunt was drunk and I've never seen her like that. This one lady almost dumped her beer down the front of me...then she looked at me like I did something wrong...heh. This one guy was trying to get my aunt to drink beer through a funnel. Austin got there a little while after we did...he kept checking me out & it was so obvious lol. My mom was bein bitchy so I went inside and watched MTV2 part of the time. That's pretty much my day.
Sometimes I feel like I really need to talk to someone. Maybe not even about anything in particular, just to know someone cares. The last few days I've felt pretty shitty... I just feel like people are constantly letting me down. I'm not mad at them and I don't blame them, it just sucks... Like I used to like being around my mom but lately all she does is say she's going to do something and then not. She's always being bitchy too and I just don't want to deal with it. I really miss my dad...he works overtime whenever he gets called and alot of the time he's on days anyways so he's not home. Whenever he does have days or time off he works on the house, which was supposed to be done in July but since the other guy is a fucking lazy ass my dad's doing like 90% himself.
There's alot of things I wish I could say to people or tell them but I can never bring myself to do it. I hate how my mom thinks I'm a genius or something and expects me to have great grades. She says she won't be mad if I don't get all A's this year but I know it's a lie. It seems like I'm supposed to make up for Stephen, where he doesn't get as good of grades as he could. I feel bad for him too because I'm sure he feels alot of pressure from mom to have great grades. They compare us when there's no way we're going to be the same.
I feel like all I do is let people down. I didn't do cross country this year & mom wanted me to. My dad wants me to do all this shit that he says mom doesn't have time for...like laundry, sweeping & all that, when in reality, she sits around watching tv like 3 hours a day. None of my friends even want to talk to me...shit they're probably embarrassed to even be around me at school. The other day when I came home from school I washed my sheets, baked 5 dozen cookies, scrubbed the bathroom(even the tub, ugh) & cleaned out my car and it still wasn't good enough. Whenever I do anything somebody will be like "well why didn't you do this too?" or "why didn't you do this instead?" They don't even care about what I did do, they're so worried about what I DIDN'T do.
Yea, well I was going to write more but my eyes hurt so I'm just gonna go to bed.
Sometimes I feel like I really need to talk to someone. Maybe not even about anything in particular, just to know someone cares. The last few days I've felt pretty shitty... I just feel like people are constantly letting me down. I'm not mad at them and I don't blame them, it just sucks... Like I used to like being around my mom but lately all she does is say she's going to do something and then not. She's always being bitchy too and I just don't want to deal with it. I really miss my dad...he works overtime whenever he gets called and alot of the time he's on days anyways so he's not home. Whenever he does have days or time off he works on the house, which was supposed to be done in July but since the other guy is a fucking lazy ass my dad's doing like 90% himself.
There's alot of things I wish I could say to people or tell them but I can never bring myself to do it. I hate how my mom thinks I'm a genius or something and expects me to have great grades. She says she won't be mad if I don't get all A's this year but I know it's a lie. It seems like I'm supposed to make up for Stephen, where he doesn't get as good of grades as he could. I feel bad for him too because I'm sure he feels alot of pressure from mom to have great grades. They compare us when there's no way we're going to be the same.
I feel like all I do is let people down. I didn't do cross country this year & mom wanted me to. My dad wants me to do all this shit that he says mom doesn't have time for...like laundry, sweeping & all that, when in reality, she sits around watching tv like 3 hours a day. None of my friends even want to talk to me...shit they're probably embarrassed to even be around me at school. The other day when I came home from school I washed my sheets, baked 5 dozen cookies, scrubbed the bathroom(even the tub, ugh) & cleaned out my car and it still wasn't good enough. Whenever I do anything somebody will be like "well why didn't you do this too?" or "why didn't you do this instead?" They don't even care about what I did do, they're so worried about what I DIDN'T do.
Yea, well I was going to write more but my eyes hurt so I'm just gonna go to bed.