Charlie Chaplin Demands an Explanation for this Bullshit!
Spring Break happened, and fell, like some sort of Bob Dole/Fidel Castro soufflet. Did you know that soufflet in French is like plateau in German?
Episode 121: That Bill Gates, He Done It Again!
All you sillynips out there using Windows XP, you'd better backup like a mofo, because next time you need to activate XP, you have to play Twenty Questions with a service rep.
Here's the poop: Systems with XP preinstalled and sold to Users who actually think you need to take your box to the shop to get rid of the 'Messenger' virus never need to input their CD key. So, capitolistic computer guys have been selling these assigned-but-unused CD keys. Thus, Bill demands that everyone call up and kiss ass to reinstall their OS. Just as if you'd broken the Law of Bill by reinstalling too many times in the past.
So, I ensured that I installed and activated my fresh XP Pro key (I got a couple more for free from the school, it's amazing what you can get if you keep your ear to the rail) the day before they started busting balls. This means, of course, that I have to reinstall everything again. Which is fucking tiresome.
And why did I need to reinstall? Because my fonts died. Let that be a lesson to you as it was to me. Don't let XP have fifteen days of uptime, you'll pay for it later.
Episode 122: Archival.
I drug my VCR up to college, and will be working on archiving my tape collection. I have about sixty tapes that need to be preserved. My VCR eats a tape a year, so I figure I won't give it any more opportunities to feed than I must, and I have lots of little clips of stuff that should stand alone. Also, my MST3K collection must survive. Must. It was supposed to happen over spring break, but didn't, because my video capture card in this system requires WDM drivers, and VDub 1.5.10 doesn't play that game. Thus, I had to get VDub 1.6.ß to record properly. Under 1.5, I get okay video with some frame drops, but the Audio doesn't time correctly, so it slides out of sync like a motherbitch.
Episode 123: My Failure is Perfection.
I really don't understand my fate.
My only graded assignment from my Philosophy class was a B-. This school doesn't have -'s, so I will assume that's a B, but that my paper was confusing attached a hyphen. Sometimes 1500 words just aren't enough to capture my brilliance. It's a class I need only pass, so I don't worry.
My only graded exam from my Astronomy class I triumphed with a 33 of 34, defeating all comers. Missing one does disappont me, but I was still par excellance amongst my peers, crushing them to a creamy paste with the awesome mass of my throbulating brain meats.
My first Finance exam was a cakewalk, and I missed only three. The second was a nut-busting ass-hammering soul shredding motherfucker. I missed two. wtflol?
Management. Well, I barely made the C line on the first exam, and the second is Tuesday. I know nothing of the course. My failure is assured.
Episode 124: Head and Shoulders Above the Competition.
Whilst seeking out a bag filled with containers of grape juice such that I may evacuate my systems of any foul humours, I stepped in something sticky. I was quite hopeful...after all, it could be a life form. A sentient life form. A sticky pool of protoplasym I could name, raise like a pet, nurture to significant proportions, and then use to suppress the common run of man and lead them to surrender before me and my right hand goober. Alas, it wasn't anything so spectacular. Apparently a bottle of shampoo fell from my dresser while I was packing for spring break, and the lid unfastened allowed it to leak all over my floor about the closet.
Now, my floor has a bold sheen and amazing lift.
Not to be confused with Charlie, who's not a bold Sheen; or Otis, which is a decent, but far from amazing, lift.
Episode 121: That Bill Gates, He Done It Again!
All you sillynips out there using Windows XP, you'd better backup like a mofo, because next time you need to activate XP, you have to play Twenty Questions with a service rep.
Here's the poop: Systems with XP preinstalled and sold to Users who actually think you need to take your box to the shop to get rid of the 'Messenger' virus never need to input their CD key. So, capitolistic computer guys have been selling these assigned-but-unused CD keys. Thus, Bill demands that everyone call up and kiss ass to reinstall their OS. Just as if you'd broken the Law of Bill by reinstalling too many times in the past.
So, I ensured that I installed and activated my fresh XP Pro key (I got a couple more for free from the school, it's amazing what you can get if you keep your ear to the rail) the day before they started busting balls. This means, of course, that I have to reinstall everything again. Which is fucking tiresome.
And why did I need to reinstall? Because my fonts died. Let that be a lesson to you as it was to me. Don't let XP have fifteen days of uptime, you'll pay for it later.
Episode 122: Archival.
I drug my VCR up to college, and will be working on archiving my tape collection. I have about sixty tapes that need to be preserved. My VCR eats a tape a year, so I figure I won't give it any more opportunities to feed than I must, and I have lots of little clips of stuff that should stand alone. Also, my MST3K collection must survive. Must. It was supposed to happen over spring break, but didn't, because my video capture card in this system requires WDM drivers, and VDub 1.5.10 doesn't play that game. Thus, I had to get VDub 1.6.ß to record properly. Under 1.5, I get okay video with some frame drops, but the Audio doesn't time correctly, so it slides out of sync like a motherbitch.
Episode 123: My Failure is Perfection.
I really don't understand my fate.
My only graded assignment from my Philosophy class was a B-. This school doesn't have -'s, so I will assume that's a B, but that my paper was confusing attached a hyphen. Sometimes 1500 words just aren't enough to capture my brilliance. It's a class I need only pass, so I don't worry.
My only graded exam from my Astronomy class I triumphed with a 33 of 34, defeating all comers. Missing one does disappont me, but I was still par excellance amongst my peers, crushing them to a creamy paste with the awesome mass of my throbulating brain meats.
My first Finance exam was a cakewalk, and I missed only three. The second was a nut-busting ass-hammering soul shredding motherfucker. I missed two. wtflol?
Management. Well, I barely made the C line on the first exam, and the second is Tuesday. I know nothing of the course. My failure is assured.
Episode 124: Head and Shoulders Above the Competition.
Whilst seeking out a bag filled with containers of grape juice such that I may evacuate my systems of any foul humours, I stepped in something sticky. I was quite hopeful...after all, it could be a life form. A sentient life form. A sticky pool of protoplasym I could name, raise like a pet, nurture to significant proportions, and then use to suppress the common run of man and lead them to surrender before me and my right hand goober. Alas, it wasn't anything so spectacular. Apparently a bottle of shampoo fell from my dresser while I was packing for spring break, and the lid unfastened allowed it to leak all over my floor about the closet.
Now, my floor has a bold sheen and amazing lift.
Not to be confused with Charlie, who's not a bold Sheen; or Otis, which is a decent, but far from amazing, lift.