(no subject)
I have gone through hell and I'm back in hell... the only reason I was able to deal with all this stuff - and trust me, it's fucking loaded and difficult... was because of the added motivation of having ari and miz around, and evidence of progression. I'm going crazy right now, but I can't exactly tear my eyes out. I have roommates.
This is my only savior:
he brings up fucked up cards - the negative ones are positive. because it's me not trusting him. he is really fucked up and does think he loves me... which is just scary. it's enough to get raped and fucked with, but a crazy person? come on, life. is this really worth my time? if he really is that stupid, amplify his misery. I really wonder what I did to deserve this shit. [Nothing, really... it just happens... ]. It certainly has ruined my tolerance for people "loving me" when it's not mutual. and fucks me up when it is... cuz he senses shit, gets jealous, and does something else to me. I wanted this to be done a long ass fucking time ago. I hope he gets punished as though he were sane.
This is my only savior:
he brings up fucked up cards - the negative ones are positive. because it's me not trusting him. he is really fucked up and does think he loves me... which is just scary. it's enough to get raped and fucked with, but a crazy person? come on, life. is this really worth my time? if he really is that stupid, amplify his misery. I really wonder what I did to deserve this shit. [Nothing, really... it just happens... ]. It certainly has ruined my tolerance for people "loving me" when it's not mutual. and fucks me up when it is... cuz he senses shit, gets jealous, and does something else to me. I wanted this to be done a long ass fucking time ago. I hope he gets punished as though he were sane.