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once felt void, like a page ripped from a magazine,
am i future-worthy?
despite fights and faults
despite winter's closing
despite injury that damages body and spirit
i'm standing, feeling a bit out of place, a bit ugly, a bit unsteady,
but wanting to move forward into spring, in full support.
wanting to travel again, but the car we relied on is nothing like last summer.
broken apart, resembling
my destruction, and self destruction
common.
scent of spring, vivacious, forthcoming.
i sometimes miss my 15-year-old self, carefree, wild, incessantly daring.
now i try to trust where others guide me
follow, stay calm, but not so calm as
anxiety clouds my skies still.
daniel began our relationship with a warning.
if his exwife ever wanted him back, he would go there, without warning, he would go.
i've mentioned, i suppose, the recent contacts between them.
they chatted, they hung out when we were in nebraska. she came to denver, but dan could not drive. she offered to buy him a taxi to come to see her, which would have cost $75, just one way. he wouldn't have had a way back. fortunately the snow stopped taxi's from doing their job, he stayed home. also for me he said. who knows though.
but now, just a few weeks ago, i come home from work and he's laying in bed resting. he tells me that amber asked him to come back to omaha for a few weeks and to see if they just might fall in love again.
he denied her.
he's unwilling to break apart what he has found with me.
and if i take this for granted, and pick silly fights, what does that make me.
am i future-worthy?
despite fights and faults
despite winter's closing
despite injury that damages body and spirit
i'm standing, feeling a bit out of place, a bit ugly, a bit unsteady,
but wanting to move forward into spring, in full support.
wanting to travel again, but the car we relied on is nothing like last summer.
broken apart, resembling
my destruction, and self destruction
common.
scent of spring, vivacious, forthcoming.
i sometimes miss my 15-year-old self, carefree, wild, incessantly daring.
now i try to trust where others guide me
follow, stay calm, but not so calm as
anxiety clouds my skies still.
daniel began our relationship with a warning.
if his exwife ever wanted him back, he would go there, without warning, he would go.
i've mentioned, i suppose, the recent contacts between them.
they chatted, they hung out when we were in nebraska. she came to denver, but dan could not drive. she offered to buy him a taxi to come to see her, which would have cost $75, just one way. he wouldn't have had a way back. fortunately the snow stopped taxi's from doing their job, he stayed home. also for me he said. who knows though.
but now, just a few weeks ago, i come home from work and he's laying in bed resting. he tells me that amber asked him to come back to omaha for a few weeks and to see if they just might fall in love again.
he denied her.
he's unwilling to break apart what he has found with me.
and if i take this for granted, and pick silly fights, what does that make me.