Overcast Thursday
Hum. Last night's dinner was awkward, at best. I ran into my grandfather's brother and his BITCH of a wife, Marilyn. I swear the woman is satan, like, seriously. She touched me and I felt my skin burn. Eek!
I ended up eating at Red Lobster:
side ceaser salad, no cheese
1 grilled chicken breast
1/4 cup wild rice pilaf
a whole bunch of steamed broccoli, plain, no salt or butter
not too bad, I guess.
I'm sitting here eating a breakfast bowl, 500 cals. I don't even care. they are very good, and i want to get all of my eating done today by 6, that way i have no worries and nothing to obsess about after 6, because im done. :P
I made a promise to Mike last night that I would stay under 800 calories for the day. poor boy doesn't even realize that 800 is really not that many. he's all "okay, don't break your promise! I'm so proud of you.."
and I'm sitting there o.O because I'm USING HIM, basically, to make myself starve myself. I know that I can't lie to him, but I can lie to my journal, myself, etc. So.. I did the desperate thing. I made him a pawn in my sick game. Oh well.. I'm just so blessed to have someone who loves me as much as he does.
He's been so fucking sweet lately, rubbing my back regularly (I have pinched nerves and often am in horrible pain) and makes me dinners (ICK!) and makes me bubble baths.. :D
Last night after the fiasco with the estranged family members we got home and he made me a bubble bath, grabbed my favorite book (he doesn't realize it's an ED book, and I read it to trigger myself) and a glass of diet pepsi and made me get in, read, and relax because he knew how stressed out I was over the whole thing.
He sweet. :)
Breakfast Bowl - 500
Tomato Soup - 300
See you all later.. I'm sure I'll end up posting more today.
I ended up eating at Red Lobster:
side ceaser salad, no cheese
1 grilled chicken breast
1/4 cup wild rice pilaf
a whole bunch of steamed broccoli, plain, no salt or butter
not too bad, I guess.
I'm sitting here eating a breakfast bowl, 500 cals. I don't even care. they are very good, and i want to get all of my eating done today by 6, that way i have no worries and nothing to obsess about after 6, because im done. :P
I made a promise to Mike last night that I would stay under 800 calories for the day. poor boy doesn't even realize that 800 is really not that many. he's all "okay, don't break your promise! I'm so proud of you.."
and I'm sitting there o.O because I'm USING HIM, basically, to make myself starve myself. I know that I can't lie to him, but I can lie to my journal, myself, etc. So.. I did the desperate thing. I made him a pawn in my sick game. Oh well.. I'm just so blessed to have someone who loves me as much as he does.
He's been so fucking sweet lately, rubbing my back regularly (I have pinched nerves and often am in horrible pain) and makes me dinners (ICK!) and makes me bubble baths.. :D
Last night after the fiasco with the estranged family members we got home and he made me a bubble bath, grabbed my favorite book (he doesn't realize it's an ED book, and I read it to trigger myself) and a glass of diet pepsi and made me get in, read, and relax because he knew how stressed out I was over the whole thing.
He sweet. :)
Breakfast Bowl - 500
Tomato Soup - 300
See you all later.. I'm sure I'll end up posting more today.