apologizing - uruha x kai | one-shot
This little ficlet was written for cateris for the christmas challenge at jrockurisumasu. Enjoy ^^
“I’m sorry.”
The words are floating around the room like a summer breeze that is slowly warming up. A soft wind that blows in the first signs of spring after a long, cold winter. The snow is starting to melt away and here and there green buds appear.
Kai sighs heavily but turns around. The look on his face is still filled with disappointment. There’s no anger anymore, he’s given up on that. He had thought about giving up on Uruha as well. One step too far, one hurt too much. He’ll never change, Kai knows. But he’s never apologized before. He can’t turn his back on him anymore.
“You’re selfish.”
“I know.”
“You can’t cope with anything.”
“I know.”
“You’re useless too.”
“I know.”
The guitarist swallows hard. He knows he’s lost. He’s not a very sociable person, not giving, not genuine at all. He’s spoiled, a real loner, thinking too much, too insecure, too lost in this world and helplessness had turned him into a selfish person. A person that doesn’t know when to stop. Neither the drinking, nor the teasing and rudeness.
“Don’t look at me like that!”
Kai barely scowls at Uruha. He does it with everybody else, but Uruha has always been different. The one who was different deserved a different treatment. Besides, Uruha never understood an angry face anyways. He never cared. This time though, it seems to have an effect since the guitarist takes a step back and watches the drummer on the bed. He pulls a face like a beaten puppy and Kai fights his good-hearted spirits. No he won’t get up now and pull that child into his arms. Not now.
“I’m sorry”, Uruha mutters again. “Let me apologize. Please?”
The drummer snorts, clearly showing his disbelief. He has never apologized before.
“What can I do? I wanna make it right, you know.”
A selfish man looking like a lost child. The blonde mane is messed up, the make-up taken off long ago. The oversized T-Shirt reaches down to his thighs. The only remains of the previous live. That encore T-Shirt. Those suspenders. A show that only ended two hours ago and a fight that started since then. Few careless words that stuck and hurt and this time he didn’t let go. Uruha doesn’t look as pretty anymore. Not as perfect. Not like this amazing porcelain beauty that he is on stage. Here, in the middle of the hotel room, stands pure imperfection and he apologizes. For being imperfect like that.
The first buds start to open up. They’re still far from bloom, but the air is getting warmer, the mild breeze turning into a carrier of summer.
Kai closes his eyes for a second and imagines sunlight on his skin. It’s getting better. Warmer. He’s finally apologizing. He’s trying. There’s a ray of hope like there’s a ray of sunlight. He knows, after winter there’s always summer.
“It’s your fault.”
“Yes.”
Such an insecure child.
“You need to change.”
I’ll be gone otherwise. He doesn’t say it out loud but he doesn’t need to. Uruha knows. He steps forward slowly towards the bed. One foot before the other, a child learning to walk. He doesn’t know whether he’s welcome or not. And then he feels fingers tugging at his shirt, pulling him a little closer between a pair of spread legs. He cannot make it right this way, he knows. But it might become a little better and bit by bit he will make it alright. Starting here. Starting tonight. Changing because he doesn’t want to loose the only security he has.
He looses the tight grip on his shirt, holding onto the drummers’ wrists as he bends down and firmly presses his lips on the other ones. He gently pushes him back until both lay on the soft mattress. A soft sigh echoes in his ear and he decides on wasting time. It’s right now. The only thing to do without making it worse. Wasting time together, kissing more and more passionately. Each kiss makes the flowers bloom.
Fingers are pushing his shirt up, a knee pushes between his thighs and he may continue. He may press those plush lips down on the sensitive neck, kiss, nibble and bite until the man beneath him breathes heavier. He feels the knee pushing against his groin and he growls deep in his throat. He feels the sharpening breath against his ear and shivers run down his spine. He’ll make it alright. A shirt ends up on the floor and soft lips are moving further down, caressing collarbone and chest.
He’s apologizing.
Kai smiles knowingly before he closes his eyes.
A tongue dips down into his bellybutton. Those soft lips leave a trail of butterfly kisses, the tip of the tongue follows the outlines of the hipbones, clearly sticking out. So thin, so fragile but so fierce at the same time. A click as the belt springs open and unconsciously Kai spreads his legs further. He’s a talented child. Careless and passionate, a child that always knows to press the right buttons at the right time. Slowly he feels his pants being pushed down his long slender legs revealing nothing but his slowly hardening member. A fetish he’d developed, the urge to be ready anytime for something naughty. He smiles smugly and rests his head on the mattress, his eyes closed again.
He knows this isn’t right as he feels teeth nibbling at the base of his manhood. It’s not the right way to apologize. It’s wrong on so many levels, it won’t make the pain go away. It merely makes him forget for a while.
The tongue moves up, lazily licking its way to the tip.
This is no way to end an argument but it makes him feel warm. It breaks ice and he feels forgiveness and lust floating in his veins like a stream set free from winters’ cold. Life is returning to his body, making his heart flutter in excitement. The lips close around him and he wastes no time engulfing him completely, taking him deep down his throat. He tilts his head back, moaning huskily. It won’t be enough this time. It will make things better but it’s not sufficient. He knows that the imperfect blonde kneeling between his legs is aware of that. But it’s a start.
“Make it up to me.” It’s barely a whisper but he feels him grinning down there. The next second those lips are gone and for a moment he feels empty and abandoned. Is it Uruhas selfishness taking over again? His urge to play and tease, forgetting when to stop? Just as he is about to open his eyes again, the lips return, nibbling and kissing in an almost apologizing manner. There has to be more. There’s something left up his sleeve and the drummer is eager to find out. Just as the lips close around him again, a wet, slick finger enters him, not hesitating a second. No need to be quiet anymore. His lust echoes in the quiet hotel room, possibly already stirring the neighbors up. He knows him too well. It only takes him a little twist and he hits exactly the right spot, making the brunette shiver and buckle his hips. His fingers grip the sheets beneath him already as a wave of tension washes over him like water filling the riverbed again after being frozen in for too long.
He’s merciless, even in his apology. His movements are slow and patient, making Kai wriggle in anticipation. “Please. You owe me.” He feels the vibrations around his member as the guitarist chuckles lowly. The finger pushes in deeper, a second finger joining him soon after. He scissors and spreads, moves every so slowly and teasingly. He needs to feel more of this. He needs to feel him deeper, needs him to fill him out completely. His hips have left the bed for good, hovering in the air, his cheeks are flustered with desire. “Don’t… tease me like that.” The blonde swallows hard, sucking out the rest of Kais restraint. Both hands grip the blonde strands painfully as he buckles his hips even further up, the guitarists name leaving his lips as he cums. It’s only the first time tonight, he knows.
Uruha licks his lips like a kitten that just tasted some milk.
He knows he’s not made it up entirely yet. There is more to come. More that won’t have anything to do with sex but until then he can at least show some willingness to change. He watches the drummer breathe heavy already and smiles bemused by the rosy cheeks. He looks so mesmerizing, looking at him through heavy lashes, a thin layer of sweat covering his body already.
His hands grip the bony, slender hips pulling him further towards him until Kais crotch touches his belly. The younger sighs, again amazed by the simplicity, the physical strength that no one would believe Uruha had. His ass is in the air, his upper body still resting on the bed as he wraps his hips around the guitarist’s waist. “You don’t believe this is sufficient, do you?” The sly grin says it all and Kai doesn’t even get a chance to reply. The next second Uruhas pants are gone and the drummer screams as he feels himself finally filled.
Summer heat crashes through the cool spring air, making it spin and whirl around, rustling through the blooming trees.
He’s losing his thoughts. Every move, every thrust, every sweet whisper in his ear as the blond bends down, every touch makes his head spin.
“I’m sorry.”
He’s starting to believe it.
“I promise I’ll change.”
The world is getting blurry.
“I love you.”
He doesn’t know what to believe anymore.
Is it easy to believe a liar? Is it possible to love someone who rather loves himself too much? Is it wise to forgive a recidivist?
All signs of winter are gone as heat fills his entire body like a fire. He knows that soon reality will hit him again, forcefully like a cool spring shower. It’s alright though. It’s alright again. He’s finally learned to apologize.
“I’m sorry.”
The words are floating around the room like a summer breeze that is slowly warming up. A soft wind that blows in the first signs of spring after a long, cold winter. The snow is starting to melt away and here and there green buds appear.
Kai sighs heavily but turns around. The look on his face is still filled with disappointment. There’s no anger anymore, he’s given up on that. He had thought about giving up on Uruha as well. One step too far, one hurt too much. He’ll never change, Kai knows. But he’s never apologized before. He can’t turn his back on him anymore.
“You’re selfish.”
“I know.”
“You can’t cope with anything.”
“I know.”
“You’re useless too.”
“I know.”
The guitarist swallows hard. He knows he’s lost. He’s not a very sociable person, not giving, not genuine at all. He’s spoiled, a real loner, thinking too much, too insecure, too lost in this world and helplessness had turned him into a selfish person. A person that doesn’t know when to stop. Neither the drinking, nor the teasing and rudeness.
“Don’t look at me like that!”
Kai barely scowls at Uruha. He does it with everybody else, but Uruha has always been different. The one who was different deserved a different treatment. Besides, Uruha never understood an angry face anyways. He never cared. This time though, it seems to have an effect since the guitarist takes a step back and watches the drummer on the bed. He pulls a face like a beaten puppy and Kai fights his good-hearted spirits. No he won’t get up now and pull that child into his arms. Not now.
“I’m sorry”, Uruha mutters again. “Let me apologize. Please?”
The drummer snorts, clearly showing his disbelief. He has never apologized before.
“What can I do? I wanna make it right, you know.”
A selfish man looking like a lost child. The blonde mane is messed up, the make-up taken off long ago. The oversized T-Shirt reaches down to his thighs. The only remains of the previous live. That encore T-Shirt. Those suspenders. A show that only ended two hours ago and a fight that started since then. Few careless words that stuck and hurt and this time he didn’t let go. Uruha doesn’t look as pretty anymore. Not as perfect. Not like this amazing porcelain beauty that he is on stage. Here, in the middle of the hotel room, stands pure imperfection and he apologizes. For being imperfect like that.
The first buds start to open up. They’re still far from bloom, but the air is getting warmer, the mild breeze turning into a carrier of summer.
Kai closes his eyes for a second and imagines sunlight on his skin. It’s getting better. Warmer. He’s finally apologizing. He’s trying. There’s a ray of hope like there’s a ray of sunlight. He knows, after winter there’s always summer.
“It’s your fault.”
“Yes.”
Such an insecure child.
“You need to change.”
I’ll be gone otherwise. He doesn’t say it out loud but he doesn’t need to. Uruha knows. He steps forward slowly towards the bed. One foot before the other, a child learning to walk. He doesn’t know whether he’s welcome or not. And then he feels fingers tugging at his shirt, pulling him a little closer between a pair of spread legs. He cannot make it right this way, he knows. But it might become a little better and bit by bit he will make it alright. Starting here. Starting tonight. Changing because he doesn’t want to loose the only security he has.
He looses the tight grip on his shirt, holding onto the drummers’ wrists as he bends down and firmly presses his lips on the other ones. He gently pushes him back until both lay on the soft mattress. A soft sigh echoes in his ear and he decides on wasting time. It’s right now. The only thing to do without making it worse. Wasting time together, kissing more and more passionately. Each kiss makes the flowers bloom.
Fingers are pushing his shirt up, a knee pushes between his thighs and he may continue. He may press those plush lips down on the sensitive neck, kiss, nibble and bite until the man beneath him breathes heavier. He feels the knee pushing against his groin and he growls deep in his throat. He feels the sharpening breath against his ear and shivers run down his spine. He’ll make it alright. A shirt ends up on the floor and soft lips are moving further down, caressing collarbone and chest.
He’s apologizing.
Kai smiles knowingly before he closes his eyes.
A tongue dips down into his bellybutton. Those soft lips leave a trail of butterfly kisses, the tip of the tongue follows the outlines of the hipbones, clearly sticking out. So thin, so fragile but so fierce at the same time. A click as the belt springs open and unconsciously Kai spreads his legs further. He’s a talented child. Careless and passionate, a child that always knows to press the right buttons at the right time. Slowly he feels his pants being pushed down his long slender legs revealing nothing but his slowly hardening member. A fetish he’d developed, the urge to be ready anytime for something naughty. He smiles smugly and rests his head on the mattress, his eyes closed again.
He knows this isn’t right as he feels teeth nibbling at the base of his manhood. It’s not the right way to apologize. It’s wrong on so many levels, it won’t make the pain go away. It merely makes him forget for a while.
The tongue moves up, lazily licking its way to the tip.
This is no way to end an argument but it makes him feel warm. It breaks ice and he feels forgiveness and lust floating in his veins like a stream set free from winters’ cold. Life is returning to his body, making his heart flutter in excitement. The lips close around him and he wastes no time engulfing him completely, taking him deep down his throat. He tilts his head back, moaning huskily. It won’t be enough this time. It will make things better but it’s not sufficient. He knows that the imperfect blonde kneeling between his legs is aware of that. But it’s a start.
“Make it up to me.” It’s barely a whisper but he feels him grinning down there. The next second those lips are gone and for a moment he feels empty and abandoned. Is it Uruhas selfishness taking over again? His urge to play and tease, forgetting when to stop? Just as he is about to open his eyes again, the lips return, nibbling and kissing in an almost apologizing manner. There has to be more. There’s something left up his sleeve and the drummer is eager to find out. Just as the lips close around him again, a wet, slick finger enters him, not hesitating a second. No need to be quiet anymore. His lust echoes in the quiet hotel room, possibly already stirring the neighbors up. He knows him too well. It only takes him a little twist and he hits exactly the right spot, making the brunette shiver and buckle his hips. His fingers grip the sheets beneath him already as a wave of tension washes over him like water filling the riverbed again after being frozen in for too long.
He’s merciless, even in his apology. His movements are slow and patient, making Kai wriggle in anticipation. “Please. You owe me.” He feels the vibrations around his member as the guitarist chuckles lowly. The finger pushes in deeper, a second finger joining him soon after. He scissors and spreads, moves every so slowly and teasingly. He needs to feel more of this. He needs to feel him deeper, needs him to fill him out completely. His hips have left the bed for good, hovering in the air, his cheeks are flustered with desire. “Don’t… tease me like that.” The blonde swallows hard, sucking out the rest of Kais restraint. Both hands grip the blonde strands painfully as he buckles his hips even further up, the guitarists name leaving his lips as he cums. It’s only the first time tonight, he knows.
Uruha licks his lips like a kitten that just tasted some milk.
He knows he’s not made it up entirely yet. There is more to come. More that won’t have anything to do with sex but until then he can at least show some willingness to change. He watches the drummer breathe heavy already and smiles bemused by the rosy cheeks. He looks so mesmerizing, looking at him through heavy lashes, a thin layer of sweat covering his body already.
His hands grip the bony, slender hips pulling him further towards him until Kais crotch touches his belly. The younger sighs, again amazed by the simplicity, the physical strength that no one would believe Uruha had. His ass is in the air, his upper body still resting on the bed as he wraps his hips around the guitarist’s waist. “You don’t believe this is sufficient, do you?” The sly grin says it all and Kai doesn’t even get a chance to reply. The next second Uruhas pants are gone and the drummer screams as he feels himself finally filled.
Summer heat crashes through the cool spring air, making it spin and whirl around, rustling through the blooming trees.
He’s losing his thoughts. Every move, every thrust, every sweet whisper in his ear as the blond bends down, every touch makes his head spin.
“I’m sorry.”
He’s starting to believe it.
“I promise I’ll change.”
The world is getting blurry.
“I love you.”
He doesn’t know what to believe anymore.
Is it easy to believe a liar? Is it possible to love someone who rather loves himself too much? Is it wise to forgive a recidivist?
All signs of winter are gone as heat fills his entire body like a fire. He knows that soon reality will hit him again, forcefully like a cool spring shower. It’s alright though. It’s alright again. He’s finally learned to apologize.