Rudeness
I don't know what kind of affect the funeral had on me yesterday. During it, I had visions what would happen if I was in my cousin's shoes, like if someone close to me died like my sister or mom-- I'd probably be torn apart too. It was really sad seeing my uncle cry as he told the story of how he met my aunt and the hardships he faced in life, like how he begged for her to forgive her for not being successful when coming to America. I guess it makes my life really feel like nothing to whine about when you're faced with stuff like that. But I'm only 22, harder stuff like that will definitely rear its head up to bite me in the future.
One thing that really ticked me off was rudeness or lack of manners. First of all, I have to admit I was really guilty during the services too about being rude-- in my head I was going "Man, I'm so sleepy" and was trying to fight off fatigue. But, babies were crying-- loudly. There was a teenager in front of me whose parents apparently know mine but the black he wore... it looked like something out of, I don't know, um, a rap video, with like tons of colors and matching chain and stuff. I figured he could've tried harder but what ticked me off the most was that he asked his parents during the service "Are we almost done? Are going to grandma's after this?" I dunno, I thought that was really rude. People here are trying their best to celebrate the life and passing of a loved one and here is this douche who comes in not in the appearance and mindset to give his condolences. Also, me and my mom chewed gum around half-way-- I noticed other people doing that too. I knew it was rude but I thought it'd help me stay awake and keep my breath clean-- yeah, I was still rude.
After the services, I gave my aunt one last look... I didn't offer a flower to her body because I didn't know if I was worthy of doing it. Relatives randomly stared at me, possibly going "Is that really HIM? He's so big now!" like every other aunt/uncle I passed. I also really was sucky at conversations, like I managed to weasel my way out of a lot of them just by standing there and randomly walking away. Some people were shocked by my acceptance to UC Berkeley but I immediately killed it when I said "I'm majoring in Japanese." It always gets a bad stare... like I'm doing something wasteful with my time. I managed to talk with one cousin (or at least I think he was a cousin) about what to do after Berkeley. I mentioned I was interested in law school. He told me he went to a lower tier law school and after 3 years became a lawyer and has been a lawyer for 3 years. I asked him a lot of questions about it and he gave me faith in that branch of the future. He said if I got into Berkeley, I can definitely handle even a law school like the one he went to. Maybe I can do it afterwards and I'll survive doing something with law in the courts.
Speaking of law, I renewed my license today. It was met with mixed feelings. I was happy I can drive again (tho I wish I had like the actual card and not a piece of paper) but the process at gaining my license renewed was painful. First off, the people at the DMV were rude-- like I have to mention that. But this time it was scary. The lady I first went to didn't hand me my number tag and I asked her about it and she said nothing and as soon as I walked away, she was waving it as if I had forgotten it. Then when my turn came up in 20 min, this next lady asked me why I didn't renew my license in the mail. I told her about how that's our old address and that even though we have access to the mailbox there, it still never arrived. I got lectured about how I was supposed to inform them 5 days AFTER I previously moved but the time we did that my parents weren't sure if we'd still be living here and told me it'd be safe if I kept my address the same. Anyway, I tried showing her proof about my situation but she wouldn't listen to me. Then came an embarrassing thing: I was told to take an eye test again which I was freaking out about before cause my vision has been getting blurry with these 2 year old+ glasses. I read the first line and then she did a double-take and told me I made a mistake: apparently I called a D an O and said O twice. So yeah, luckily, I was able to call the rest of the rows right even with covering up my eye one by one but now I'm scared my eye-sight is really that bad... Luckily I have an appointment on wednesday to get a new prescription. And after that, maybe I can really get contacts again and have my eyes show off their beauty to the world again :)
One thing that really ticked me off was rudeness or lack of manners. First of all, I have to admit I was really guilty during the services too about being rude-- in my head I was going "Man, I'm so sleepy" and was trying to fight off fatigue. But, babies were crying-- loudly. There was a teenager in front of me whose parents apparently know mine but the black he wore... it looked like something out of, I don't know, um, a rap video, with like tons of colors and matching chain and stuff. I figured he could've tried harder but what ticked me off the most was that he asked his parents during the service "Are we almost done? Are going to grandma's after this?" I dunno, I thought that was really rude. People here are trying their best to celebrate the life and passing of a loved one and here is this douche who comes in not in the appearance and mindset to give his condolences. Also, me and my mom chewed gum around half-way-- I noticed other people doing that too. I knew it was rude but I thought it'd help me stay awake and keep my breath clean-- yeah, I was still rude.
After the services, I gave my aunt one last look... I didn't offer a flower to her body because I didn't know if I was worthy of doing it. Relatives randomly stared at me, possibly going "Is that really HIM? He's so big now!" like every other aunt/uncle I passed. I also really was sucky at conversations, like I managed to weasel my way out of a lot of them just by standing there and randomly walking away. Some people were shocked by my acceptance to UC Berkeley but I immediately killed it when I said "I'm majoring in Japanese." It always gets a bad stare... like I'm doing something wasteful with my time. I managed to talk with one cousin (or at least I think he was a cousin) about what to do after Berkeley. I mentioned I was interested in law school. He told me he went to a lower tier law school and after 3 years became a lawyer and has been a lawyer for 3 years. I asked him a lot of questions about it and he gave me faith in that branch of the future. He said if I got into Berkeley, I can definitely handle even a law school like the one he went to. Maybe I can do it afterwards and I'll survive doing something with law in the courts.
Speaking of law, I renewed my license today. It was met with mixed feelings. I was happy I can drive again (tho I wish I had like the actual card and not a piece of paper) but the process at gaining my license renewed was painful. First off, the people at the DMV were rude-- like I have to mention that. But this time it was scary. The lady I first went to didn't hand me my number tag and I asked her about it and she said nothing and as soon as I walked away, she was waving it as if I had forgotten it. Then when my turn came up in 20 min, this next lady asked me why I didn't renew my license in the mail. I told her about how that's our old address and that even though we have access to the mailbox there, it still never arrived. I got lectured about how I was supposed to inform them 5 days AFTER I previously moved but the time we did that my parents weren't sure if we'd still be living here and told me it'd be safe if I kept my address the same. Anyway, I tried showing her proof about my situation but she wouldn't listen to me. Then came an embarrassing thing: I was told to take an eye test again which I was freaking out about before cause my vision has been getting blurry with these 2 year old+ glasses. I read the first line and then she did a double-take and told me I made a mistake: apparently I called a D an O and said O twice. So yeah, luckily, I was able to call the rest of the rows right even with covering up my eye one by one but now I'm scared my eye-sight is really that bad... Luckily I have an appointment on wednesday to get a new prescription. And after that, maybe I can really get contacts again and have my eyes show off their beauty to the world again :)