Tiny Overview of Life at Cal
UC Berkeley's semesters are weird... Right now it's a week before finals. I guess they reserve this week to make sure no new material is crammed into our tiny brains of ours so that we can cram-- I didn't think the top public university in the nation did that kind of thing. Well, fortunately for me Japanese class had finals last week which surprised the hell out of me cause it was actually kinda hard. My other two classes, Japanese Literature and East Asian Romance are taught by the same teacher (whose wife oddly enough is the head of my Japanese class o_o;) and he's feeling the pressure of grading. He canceled our Japanese Literature final cause apparently we're all doing so well. We never had a final for East Asian Romance... just a small paper that's worth a ton of percentage for our final grade. In fact, if it wasn't for these papers, I'd be at home now... sucking up free food, a private bathroom (my suite mates suck ass-- don't know how to flush a toilet, let alone aim, and take their stuff out of the stalls), and... my PS3 :)
I'm glad I survived this semester. In fact, I'm pretty worry free class wise now. I've been more worried about... people. Well, if there's one thing I learned here is that no matter what the environment, I probably dislike people... At least Japanese Majors still-- people who I'm supposed to look up to still kinda drive me insane. The Anime Club here isn't too great either-- I would've given it a chance if it wasn't for a guy trying so hard to be my friend he drove me crazy. I mean, he was borderline stalker. It's stuff like this that makes me hate anime and anything otaku related... I wish I was so much more than that but they remind me of my roots and I can't help but cringe or sigh. Maybe I'm in denial, that's probably it.
For friends, I really don't know what to say. I've lowered my shell a little bit in trying to make friends but it's only if I was forced to work with them or if we somehow managed to talk to each other once. Other than that, I don't go out of my way to making friends here. Everyone is really young compared to me or I just can't stand. Since I'm with a lot of kids in my major area of Japanese, it's all the same... sure we may be in Berkeley and they may be smarter than DVC's anime club freaks, but it's all the same: they annoy me. For close friends whom I trust and can share anything with, atm I can fit them all on one hand. I've sorta have this affinity to them-- either they helped me or I help them, either way, together we're making life at Berkeley not so shitty. But at the same time, I'm in a constant worry mode... I might lose them. We might fight about something or if they were a girl friend, I might get attached and not be able to control my feelings. I've found out though that if I ever were to do that again, I'd just tap into my inner angst to repel any feelings of relations with people... It's probably not a good thing to do but whatever. I can't help but try to be super close with people who are nice to me... it's really hard. I need to work on that.
But even though my semester's almost over... I can't wait for next semester. It's going to be more compact than this one so I won't be sitting around on campus looking for something to do. Plus, I want to see my new classmates-- either to give them hell or give them a chance to warm up to me. I guess that makes me vain... I don't know. It's been fun this semester because my Japanese has been pulsating with energy. Every chapter makes me remember something I learned from the past and combining it with the present makes me feel... smart. Except for the teachers- they always find a way to put me down or limit me. Especially one teacher... Oguro >_> Hopefully I won't see too much of her next semester. But I'm really excited to be with people who can keep up with the quick pace. Hopefully I'll see more rivals next semester.
I don't know why I'm in such a competitive mood.
I'm glad I survived this semester. In fact, I'm pretty worry free class wise now. I've been more worried about... people. Well, if there's one thing I learned here is that no matter what the environment, I probably dislike people... At least Japanese Majors still-- people who I'm supposed to look up to still kinda drive me insane. The Anime Club here isn't too great either-- I would've given it a chance if it wasn't for a guy trying so hard to be my friend he drove me crazy. I mean, he was borderline stalker. It's stuff like this that makes me hate anime and anything otaku related... I wish I was so much more than that but they remind me of my roots and I can't help but cringe or sigh. Maybe I'm in denial, that's probably it.
For friends, I really don't know what to say. I've lowered my shell a little bit in trying to make friends but it's only if I was forced to work with them or if we somehow managed to talk to each other once. Other than that, I don't go out of my way to making friends here. Everyone is really young compared to me or I just can't stand. Since I'm with a lot of kids in my major area of Japanese, it's all the same... sure we may be in Berkeley and they may be smarter than DVC's anime club freaks, but it's all the same: they annoy me. For close friends whom I trust and can share anything with, atm I can fit them all on one hand. I've sorta have this affinity to them-- either they helped me or I help them, either way, together we're making life at Berkeley not so shitty. But at the same time, I'm in a constant worry mode... I might lose them. We might fight about something or if they were a girl friend, I might get attached and not be able to control my feelings. I've found out though that if I ever were to do that again, I'd just tap into my inner angst to repel any feelings of relations with people... It's probably not a good thing to do but whatever. I can't help but try to be super close with people who are nice to me... it's really hard. I need to work on that.
But even though my semester's almost over... I can't wait for next semester. It's going to be more compact than this one so I won't be sitting around on campus looking for something to do. Plus, I want to see my new classmates-- either to give them hell or give them a chance to warm up to me. I guess that makes me vain... I don't know. It's been fun this semester because my Japanese has been pulsating with energy. Every chapter makes me remember something I learned from the past and combining it with the present makes me feel... smart. Except for the teachers- they always find a way to put me down or limit me. Especially one teacher... Oguro >_> Hopefully I won't see too much of her next semester. But I'm really excited to be with people who can keep up with the quick pace. Hopefully I'll see more rivals next semester.
I don't know why I'm in such a competitive mood.