One Year
I just got back from Sacramento from a 5 day mini-vacation that was much needed. It was ok. I made sure I let myself loose food/drink wise because I felt it was really needed to relax-- I could've done without the constant stomach problems/multiple bathroom trips/horrendous sweating afterward but eh, it was some good eating that's for sure. I'm kinda tired still... last night I was talking to my friend about his college experience at UC Davis and how he's at a loss at what to do and what he'll do to pay off students loans and etc which kinda made me worry. Also, I was looking into buying an Xbox 360 or PS3 and I was really close at buying a 360 but I just didn't have a heart to do it since my lil bro already has one and it'd feel like a waste. Then I found this guy: http://www.play-asia.com/paOS-13-71-bo-49-en-70-384d.html
It's so... beautiful. So expensive but I think it'll be my last huge purchase in a while, aside from college and all. I was having trouble paying for the thing but I managed to put in my information again so hopefully they'll have it and charge me the $720 and ship it asap.
Even though I'm kinda thrilled to have that as my own little going away present... I'm really sad still. I'm good with memories-- I have this ability to be able to re-live a certain day with all my senses still intact allowing me to enjoy (or in some cases torture myself) with the past. Today was a very special day a year ago...
Last year I still remember staying up the night before, having packed all my luggage. My sister came home from picking up her then boyfriend from work along with luggage locks to ensure my stuff wouldn't fall out of my bags when on the plane. I desperately tried to sleep early hoping that me and my dad wouldn't oversleep in case we ran into scary SF traffic missing my plane. I slept around 12 AM that day, being excited and all... first time leaving the country on my own, scared I'd be lost in not only Narita but in SFO too. All my worries left though... it just took a $20 burger at the airport and nearly being run over by an ambulance cause my dad was too focused on picking his nose to notice the emergency vehicle behind him. But after 40 min of waiting to get inside the gate and struggling to find my seat on the plane, I was in the air eventually, sweating buckets until we finally hovered over this giant cloud mass with the on-board computer saying we were over Narita. Then breaking through the clouds I saw a metropolis of planes and runways-- it didn't seem different at all.
Then I freaked out inside Narita. I was too scared to fill out the customs paperwork and had a lot of help from random Americans who seemed lost like me. Then I sent in my paperwork and the customs officer looked in confusion as he stared at the address of where I would be staying: the Kimura family residence. Then I went downstairs from the visitors side of Narita airport glaring at the returning Japanese residents welcoming side saying "okaeri"-- I felt so like an outsider. Downstairs I was scared I wouldn't find my luggage but found it within a few minutes. Then I was worried about how I would exchange my $800 into yen and started to sweat buckets again trying to figure out what to do with all the paper work... but it all worked out in the end, but the yen bills could barely fit in my wallet, so my 10,000 yen was easily visible. Then I was worried I wouldn't find the Bus Limo stand to buy my ticket out of Narita and into the main Tokyo area itself but that again was easily found-- and frightening too. Especially because afterwards I had to call my host mom telling her where I was going to be... I had to ask help from a random lady sitting in the lobby reading a book as to how to use the pay phone. Upon saying my deepest thanks she smiled, nodded, and walked away-- I thought it was all my fault too...
But then I stepped out and felt the cool air of Narita and stood at the stop where my bus would come. The luggage loader/station clerk was very nice, spoke great English too. I showed him my Japanese and he was amazed by it-- I felt the 3 years of Japanese pounded into me put into good use. And soon I was on the bus to Tokyo, gawking at the highways, people sitting on opposite side of the cars, many rice fields, the rain coming down, and thinking to myself "I'm going to be stuck here for 51 days..." But then I saw a sign: "Exit to Akihabara". I was excited.
And I remember leaving the bus and in the hotel lobby I met this really old lady-- my future host mom. I was very disappointed: no host kids to help me, no one to socialize with, worried I'd be a burden. She was a very sweet lady... even though her first question to me was "How much do you weigh?" She took me home, led me to my 2 room suite downstairs where I met my roommate, the 20+ year old Chibi-san. She even fixed me a dinner consisting of her version of spaghetti and salad with a chocolate muffin. It was too much for me to handle-- odd I know. I asked her to show me around Tokyo but due to the rain and her age would make it impossible to show me around the whole city-- she said I was young and old enough to do that myself. So the following day when it rained in I watched TV and was amazed at all the kid animation shows like Pokemon, being portrayed in the native language. Still boring... being confined to this room. But as promised my host mom showed me the way to Sendagaya the next morning and showed me how to buy a ticket-- I felt ready to tackle anything. I made my way to a park when I had my own free time, everyone staring at my foreigness and size-- maybe they thought I was a foreign sumo wrestler...
And after that... I had to wait some more before classes actually began. But when they did begin, I was stoked. Best summer of my life....
But now after one whole year after my trip there, I still feel... crushed. Lost, confused, desire... I'm going to go back, hopefully next year if UC Berkeley and Student Loans help me. And it'll be for an academic year-- I hope so anyway. That way I can erase those memories with even more positive ones. And I'll be ready to do it on my own, rather than depends on others for help.
It's so... beautiful. So expensive but I think it'll be my last huge purchase in a while, aside from college and all. I was having trouble paying for the thing but I managed to put in my information again so hopefully they'll have it and charge me the $720 and ship it asap.
Even though I'm kinda thrilled to have that as my own little going away present... I'm really sad still. I'm good with memories-- I have this ability to be able to re-live a certain day with all my senses still intact allowing me to enjoy (or in some cases torture myself) with the past. Today was a very special day a year ago...
Last year I still remember staying up the night before, having packed all my luggage. My sister came home from picking up her then boyfriend from work along with luggage locks to ensure my stuff wouldn't fall out of my bags when on the plane. I desperately tried to sleep early hoping that me and my dad wouldn't oversleep in case we ran into scary SF traffic missing my plane. I slept around 12 AM that day, being excited and all... first time leaving the country on my own, scared I'd be lost in not only Narita but in SFO too. All my worries left though... it just took a $20 burger at the airport and nearly being run over by an ambulance cause my dad was too focused on picking his nose to notice the emergency vehicle behind him. But after 40 min of waiting to get inside the gate and struggling to find my seat on the plane, I was in the air eventually, sweating buckets until we finally hovered over this giant cloud mass with the on-board computer saying we were over Narita. Then breaking through the clouds I saw a metropolis of planes and runways-- it didn't seem different at all.
Then I freaked out inside Narita. I was too scared to fill out the customs paperwork and had a lot of help from random Americans who seemed lost like me. Then I sent in my paperwork and the customs officer looked in confusion as he stared at the address of where I would be staying: the Kimura family residence. Then I went downstairs from the visitors side of Narita airport glaring at the returning Japanese residents welcoming side saying "okaeri"-- I felt so like an outsider. Downstairs I was scared I wouldn't find my luggage but found it within a few minutes. Then I was worried about how I would exchange my $800 into yen and started to sweat buckets again trying to figure out what to do with all the paper work... but it all worked out in the end, but the yen bills could barely fit in my wallet, so my 10,000 yen was easily visible. Then I was worried I wouldn't find the Bus Limo stand to buy my ticket out of Narita and into the main Tokyo area itself but that again was easily found-- and frightening too. Especially because afterwards I had to call my host mom telling her where I was going to be... I had to ask help from a random lady sitting in the lobby reading a book as to how to use the pay phone. Upon saying my deepest thanks she smiled, nodded, and walked away-- I thought it was all my fault too...
But then I stepped out and felt the cool air of Narita and stood at the stop where my bus would come. The luggage loader/station clerk was very nice, spoke great English too. I showed him my Japanese and he was amazed by it-- I felt the 3 years of Japanese pounded into me put into good use. And soon I was on the bus to Tokyo, gawking at the highways, people sitting on opposite side of the cars, many rice fields, the rain coming down, and thinking to myself "I'm going to be stuck here for 51 days..." But then I saw a sign: "Exit to Akihabara". I was excited.
And I remember leaving the bus and in the hotel lobby I met this really old lady-- my future host mom. I was very disappointed: no host kids to help me, no one to socialize with, worried I'd be a burden. She was a very sweet lady... even though her first question to me was "How much do you weigh?" She took me home, led me to my 2 room suite downstairs where I met my roommate, the 20+ year old Chibi-san. She even fixed me a dinner consisting of her version of spaghetti and salad with a chocolate muffin. It was too much for me to handle-- odd I know. I asked her to show me around Tokyo but due to the rain and her age would make it impossible to show me around the whole city-- she said I was young and old enough to do that myself. So the following day when it rained in I watched TV and was amazed at all the kid animation shows like Pokemon, being portrayed in the native language. Still boring... being confined to this room. But as promised my host mom showed me the way to Sendagaya the next morning and showed me how to buy a ticket-- I felt ready to tackle anything. I made my way to a park when I had my own free time, everyone staring at my foreigness and size-- maybe they thought I was a foreign sumo wrestler...
And after that... I had to wait some more before classes actually began. But when they did begin, I was stoked. Best summer of my life....
But now after one whole year after my trip there, I still feel... crushed. Lost, confused, desire... I'm going to go back, hopefully next year if UC Berkeley and Student Loans help me. And it'll be for an academic year-- I hope so anyway. That way I can erase those memories with even more positive ones. And I'll be ready to do it on my own, rather than depends on others for help.