hbficnew
"It's Because You Can't Dance"
Disclaimer: I do not own any part of "The History Boys", nor am I gaining any money from this.
Stuart sighed and looked around the club, gritting his teeth and anger and shooting his friend Joe the dirtiest look he could muster.
"So," Joe looked decidedly amused. "What do you think?"
Stuart raised his eyebrow. "A gay club? It's my bloody stag do and you've taken me to a gay club?"
Joe put his arm aroung Stuart's shoulder, "Well, we thought you can have as much debauchery and fun as you like here without confronting any major temptation."
Staurt shrugged Joe's arm away. "Watch what you do in here, they'll think we're..."
"Yeah, but if I don't they'll think you're free. You are a tasty bit of man-meat you know."
"Bollucks," Stuart said just as a tall man with a lot of glitter in his hair grabbed his arse. "I'm with him!" he said quickly, grabbing Joe's hand.
Joe laughed and dragged him over to a table, where his their other friend, Simon, was waiting with three large and colourful drinks in long glasses.
"What the fuck are those?" Stuart looked at them incredulously.
"Slippery Dicks," Simon replied, passing one to him. Stuart sighed and took it, sliding inbetween Simon and Joe, and surveying the dancing men only a few feet away from them.
"Colourful, aren't they?" he said. He took a sip of his Slippery Dick, which was in all actuality delicious, but he made a face as he pulled away. "Cor, a bit sweet though."
Joe snorted and sipped his drink, then looked at the other two, a cheeky glint in his eye. "So, what do we do now?"
Simon grinned. "Queer-watch."
Stuart frowned. "Well I'm sure as shit not going to sit around on my arse on my bachelor night. Now you two, pick which one of these fairies that you think is the best looking and I'll ask him to dance."
Simon and Joe sqwaked in laughter. "You are joking?" said Joe, wiping a tear away from his eye.
"Nope," Stuart said, "Now pick out my boyfriend for the night."
The three men settled back into their seats and began to watch the room. Stuart scanned the crowd but everyone seemed to be taken or some sort of mincing queen.
"What about that one?" Joe said, pointing to a tall, skinny boy with brown hair and a very tanned complexion.
"Look at him," Stuart said, "He looks like he's on enough drugs to open a chemist." True enoguh, the boy was sweating profusely and his eyes were unfocused.
"He's too young anyway," said Simon. "Have a look at that one." He nodded in the direction of a big, burly blonde man who was sitting at the bar, drinking and looking very sullen. He then promptly keeled over, dead drunk.
"Or not," Simon raised his eyebrows.
Stuart frowned and looked around; he was growing more bored by the minute. "Great fucking idea guys."
"Oh hold on a second, you miserable cunt," Simon shoved his shoulder, "How about him?"
Stuart squinted in the direction Simon was pointing, trying to see through the cloud of cigarette smoke obscuring the man at the far end of the bar.
"See who I mean?" Simon said, leaning in to speak to Joe, "The one in the black shirt."
And suddenly Stuart saw exactly who he meant. The man was about average height and slender, with a fair complexion and sandy hair. He had small, rectangular glasses on and he was laughing at a joke someone had just told him.
"Bit nerdy," said Joe.
"It's Posner!" He could hardly belive his eyes as he watched Posner gently stroke a man's arm, oozing a kind of confidence he had never had at school.
"Who?" Joe asked.
"Posner!" Stuart exclaimed. "I went to school with him, and we both went to Oxford. I have to go and say hello." He stood up and downed drained the rest of his drink in one go, heading across the room.
"Don't forget to dance with him!" Called Simon.
Stuart barely heard him as he barreled through the crowd, a grinnign from ear to ear until he was right in front of Posner.
"Pos!" he said, holding out his arms.
Posner calmly turned and looked him up and down. "Oh," he said in slight surprise. "Dakin?"
"Yeah it's me," Staurt said, lowering his arms, feeling kind of foolish for assuming Posner would just rush into them.
"How are you?" Posner asked.
"Well, thanks. Yourself?" Stuart took a seat nest to Posner and was rather shocked when Posner waved the other man he had been talking to away with a dissmissive hand. Posner had certainly changed.
"I'm fine," Posner lifted a glass of white wine to his lips. "Although I must say, I'm surprised at you. I thought that whole Irwin thing was just a phase."
"What? No! This is my stag night. The boys thought it would be funny if we - "
"Went and had a look at all the queers?" Posner's words were cutting but his smile was wry and Stuart was happy to see his eyes scanning Stuart appreciatively.
"You're all grown up," said Posner.
"Well you're one to talk, look at you! All posh and tarted up for a night on the town."
Posner raised his eyebrows. "Quite. Can I get you another drink?"
Dakin shrugged. "I was thinking more along the lines of a dance."
Posner laughed. "Sorry, Dakin, but I don't dance with straight boys."
Dakin pouted. "Oh come on! For my stag do?"
Posner looked at him. "Alright," he sighed and got up. "So who's the lucky girl?" he asked as they headed to the dance floor. Staurt paused before answering and looked over to see Joe and Simon snickering and looking at him with faces that plainly said, are you really doing this?
"Her name's Stephanie," Stuart said as he started to dance, a little unnerved by the way Posner's hands were resting on his waist.
"And where did you meet Stephanie?" Posner's hands were now on Stuart's hips, and he was moving them around, trying to loosten them up. Stuart cleared his throat.
"Um, she's my secretary actually."
"Oh God," Posner said, and much to Stuart's suprise, he grabbed him and spun him around.
"Jesus!"
"Hey Dave!" A voice came from the left of them. "Why are you dancing with a straight guy?"
"Old friend," replied Posner. Stuart was almost affronted.
"How can he tell I'm straight?" He asked, over the blair of the music.
Posner leaned in very close to him and whisepered in his ear. "It's because you can't dance."
"Excuse me?" Now Stuart really was offended. "I could so be gay. I almost was in school!"
"One crush on a teacher does not count as being gay." Posner wrapped his arms around Stuart's waist and pulled him in closer.
"Well," Stuart's breath was heavy. "What would I have to do to seem gay to you?"
Posner shrugged. "I don't really care whether you are or not. Don't ask me."
Stuart stared at this new, cold Posner and felt annoyed. He wanted the old Posner back. The Posner that adored him and sang stupid songs at him and would have done anything to be dancing with Stuart right now. Stuart was angry. Where the fuck was Posner?
Without thinking he lunged forward and kissed Posner. If he was surprised at Stuart's move, he didn't show it, he simply opened his mouth lazily and brought his hands up to Stuart's face. Stuart liked the stark, rough feeling of Posner's stubble around his lips and automatically put his hands onto Posner's chest, forgetting that nothing was there. He moaned and leant into the kiss, and his lips felt cold when Posner pulled away.
"Well, that was interesting."
"Um," Stuart had no words.
"First time you ever kissed a man?" Posner asked. Stuart nodded.
"Hmm." Posner continued to dance. "We can go to the loos if you like."
"What?"
"The toilets," said Posner. "Don't tell me you've never fucked around in a toilet before?"
Stuart was shocked at Posner's swearing and could not believe what he was being asked. "i - I don't think so." he said.
Posner shruggued. "Alright then." He let go of Stuar and started to walk away.
Stuart bit his lip. "Wait!" he went after Posner. "I just don't want to do it in the loos."
Posner smirked. "My place is around the corner."
Stuar nodded and started to follow him, only to be stopped by two hands on his shoulders.
"Stu mate," said Joe. "Are you alright?"
Stuart nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine, I just think I'm going to hang out at Posner's for a bit. See you later."
And with that he left.
Joe turned to Simon. "What the fuck was in those Slippery Dicks?"