the events of my night
tonight i went to hang out with brian after watching pirates 3 (very awesome movie) and he was hanging out with his two best friends dave and alex. dave got a call from his girlfriend summoning him and brian was like 'why are you leaving me with no one to hang out with?' which didn't make me happy. dave said 'your woman is here' to which brian replied 'she's just placeholder till you finish your homework' which made me even less happy. dave got ready to go and grabbed a microwave cake because, he said, 'everyone likes cake' and i said 'everyone but me.' brian said 'i can't hang out with you anymore' and although i knew he was joking, i was too pissed to put up with it anymore so i said 'you're right, nice knowing you' shook his hand and left. he did not follow me out of the room.
i went back to my room practically in tears and changed into my pajamas. brian called me and said that i could come back now, and i hung up without saying anything, even though i meant to say something cutting like 'oh, have your friends gone and now you need your placeholder?' but i did not. shortly after, presumably when he figured out i wasn't coming back, he signed on AIM and said 'sorry i didn't follow you out of the room. i didn't realize you were upset until it was too late' i told him we needed to talk so he came over. i told him how i don't like feeling unimportant and that he needs to tell mehow he feels about me so i hear more than just jokes like that. he admitted he had been acting shitty because he didn't know how to have a relationship and so on. having finally gotten him to talk, we worked out that he needs to start verbalizing his affection for me and i need to bop him when he says shit that hurts me. we went on to talk for another hour and a half of pleasant conversation.
this fight worked out picture perfectly. if he had run out right away, we wouldn't have had our talk, i either would have blew up and then left or blew it off and stayed. he said all the right things, and i know that he meant what he said. a very reassuring thing is that we have the same story of how/why we got together. i'm kind of weirded out that he, and therefore everyone, knew about my crush on trey. i really thought that was kinda secret. i can't believe trey thought about asking me out. fuck, i wonder if that was that time he subtle mentioned he was single, oh man that would be crazy. i had at least three opportunities to tell him about what i realized this summer, relevent conversation topics and everything, but i just couldn't. i don't want to make things even more complicated.
i'm so happy, and so relieved.
i went back to my room practically in tears and changed into my pajamas. brian called me and said that i could come back now, and i hung up without saying anything, even though i meant to say something cutting like 'oh, have your friends gone and now you need your placeholder?' but i did not. shortly after, presumably when he figured out i wasn't coming back, he signed on AIM and said 'sorry i didn't follow you out of the room. i didn't realize you were upset until it was too late' i told him we needed to talk so he came over. i told him how i don't like feeling unimportant and that he needs to tell mehow he feels about me so i hear more than just jokes like that. he admitted he had been acting shitty because he didn't know how to have a relationship and so on. having finally gotten him to talk, we worked out that he needs to start verbalizing his affection for me and i need to bop him when he says shit that hurts me. we went on to talk for another hour and a half of pleasant conversation.
this fight worked out picture perfectly. if he had run out right away, we wouldn't have had our talk, i either would have blew up and then left or blew it off and stayed. he said all the right things, and i know that he meant what he said. a very reassuring thing is that we have the same story of how/why we got together. i'm kind of weirded out that he, and therefore everyone, knew about my crush on trey. i really thought that was kinda secret. i can't believe trey thought about asking me out. fuck, i wonder if that was that time he subtle mentioned he was single, oh man that would be crazy. i had at least three opportunities to tell him about what i realized this summer, relevent conversation topics and everything, but i just couldn't. i don't want to make things even more complicated.
i'm so happy, and so relieved.