August 14th, 2007
Sooo...are you bummed as to how many posts I've been doing lately? Woo hoo new blog subscription post! I hope it's…oh. No. It's Aimee-Beth. Again.
Yea well, you see...my job consists of: reading.myspace.movies.oh,phone call here. random errand there. lunch. break for a walk. writing shit in my brain down. la di daaaah. I really have no room to complain, it is one of the greatest jobs ever....BUT HOLY WHORE MARY MAGDELENE I JUST WISH THAT THE DUDES IN MY OFFICE WOULD SHUT THE FUCK UP!
The first day I worked here I thought their banter was quaint. But it's not. They just yammer at each other about the most ego stroking insipid bullshit, and at first I had hoped that they might be joking like, no way could these guys be so self unaware of the fact that they sound like a couple of USC-graduated-greased-up-oily-douche-bag-penis-faces. But I was wrong. So very very wrong.
One of them is this weirdo frat boy/ Hollywood man hybrid guy, he really revels in the Los Angeles stereotype and then puts this whole power hungry "fuck humanity, lets play dirty" industry executive spin on it. He belches loudly, power lifts on his lunch break, gets unnecessarily worked up over little shit, has a wife but cheats on her, and carries around a baseball bat at all times………………………………………………??!!!?? Excuse me?? Oh what, do Giovanni Ribisi and Ben Affleck suddenly work here? Because the last time I checked this isn't fucking "Boiler Room".
The other one is Captain UmWellActually which often times awakens the Balrog that lives deep inside me. I'll be minding my own business chatting it up with Jina and then all the sudden….DOOT DOO DOOOO!!:
(" Um well, actually Aimee-Beth, I think- kskhhhhhshhhhhhhkssssshhhhhhhhhhhh" <--this is what I start to hear after about two seconds.) Other than that he is generally pretty alright, I mean…he likes Louis CK, so he gains a few points. But he also constantly fuels the word vomit that comes out of the other one. It's like they enable each other's suckiness, they have contests to see who can be the biggest walking hemorrhoid.
When they are alone they are fine, I can deal. In fact, I feel like we all have a pretty ok understanding, they view me as a bizarre creature from the planet "Girls With Real Opinions" and fear my feminist wrath (Oh fuck, today one of them said "OOOOH!! You're so sassy! So young, so sassy! I like..." and I let my beloved bitch flag fly. My bosses are cool though, because they don't mind when I do that) so they kind of leave me alone and in return I pay them little to no attention. But they still love creating a giant Voltron of OMG KILL ME with their verbal correspondence to each other, and my desk is RIGHT between their offices. So I get to listen all day long as they blab INCESSENTLY about Boston Red Sox (Maybe I should cut them slack because they're from the East Coast, but really…I could give a fuck less about the Red Sox because the only team I care about is the Dodgers, for obvious reasons) and who is hotter than who ("Oh, dude Jessica Alba" "No way man, her lips are way too big"….are you fucking kidding me? They would both be so lucky if Bea Arthur decided to sit on their faces) to ("Oh that so and so at such and such looks like a friggin HORSE…NEEEIIIIGHH!!") to ("I want to get these motherfuckers locked and loaded man! This integration plan needs to be grabbed by the fucking balls and blah blah blah meow meow meow")
It's enough to make me want loofa my body with a cheese grater and then bathe in a kiddie pool of lemon juice and sea salt. That would be better than listening to them talk.
But besides all that, they're pretty alright dudes I guess. The whole thing makes me very very thankful for the rad, intelligent, thoughtful, cool men that I keep company with and whom I consider friends. Thanks guys! Appreciate you! XXXXOO
Yea well, you see...my job consists of: reading.myspace.movies.oh,phone call here. random errand there. lunch. break for a walk. writing shit in my brain down. la di daaaah. I really have no room to complain, it is one of the greatest jobs ever....BUT HOLY WHORE MARY MAGDELENE I JUST WISH THAT THE DUDES IN MY OFFICE WOULD SHUT THE FUCK UP!
The first day I worked here I thought their banter was quaint. But it's not. They just yammer at each other about the most ego stroking insipid bullshit, and at first I had hoped that they might be joking like, no way could these guys be so self unaware of the fact that they sound like a couple of USC-graduated-greased-up-oily-douche-bag-penis-faces. But I was wrong. So very very wrong.
One of them is this weirdo frat boy/ Hollywood man hybrid guy, he really revels in the Los Angeles stereotype and then puts this whole power hungry "fuck humanity, lets play dirty" industry executive spin on it. He belches loudly, power lifts on his lunch break, gets unnecessarily worked up over little shit, has a wife but cheats on her, and carries around a baseball bat at all times………………………………………………??!!!?? Excuse me?? Oh what, do Giovanni Ribisi and Ben Affleck suddenly work here? Because the last time I checked this isn't fucking "Boiler Room".
The other one is Captain UmWellActually which often times awakens the Balrog that lives deep inside me. I'll be minding my own business chatting it up with Jina and then all the sudden….DOOT DOO DOOOO!!:
(" Um well, actually Aimee-Beth, I think- kskhhhhhshhhhhhhkssssshhhhhhhhhhhh" <--this is what I start to hear after about two seconds.) Other than that he is generally pretty alright, I mean…he likes Louis CK, so he gains a few points. But he also constantly fuels the word vomit that comes out of the other one. It's like they enable each other's suckiness, they have contests to see who can be the biggest walking hemorrhoid.
When they are alone they are fine, I can deal. In fact, I feel like we all have a pretty ok understanding, they view me as a bizarre creature from the planet "Girls With Real Opinions" and fear my feminist wrath (Oh fuck, today one of them said "OOOOH!! You're so sassy! So young, so sassy! I like..." and I let my beloved bitch flag fly. My bosses are cool though, because they don't mind when I do that) so they kind of leave me alone and in return I pay them little to no attention. But they still love creating a giant Voltron of OMG KILL ME with their verbal correspondence to each other, and my desk is RIGHT between their offices. So I get to listen all day long as they blab INCESSENTLY about Boston Red Sox (Maybe I should cut them slack because they're from the East Coast, but really…I could give a fuck less about the Red Sox because the only team I care about is the Dodgers, for obvious reasons) and who is hotter than who ("Oh, dude Jessica Alba" "No way man, her lips are way too big"….are you fucking kidding me? They would both be so lucky if Bea Arthur decided to sit on their faces) to ("Oh that so and so at such and such looks like a friggin HORSE…NEEEIIIIGHH!!") to ("I want to get these motherfuckers locked and loaded man! This integration plan needs to be grabbed by the fucking balls and blah blah blah meow meow meow")
It's enough to make me want loofa my body with a cheese grater and then bathe in a kiddie pool of lemon juice and sea salt. That would be better than listening to them talk.
But besides all that, they're pretty alright dudes I guess. The whole thing makes me very very thankful for the rad, intelligent, thoughtful, cool men that I keep company with and whom I consider friends. Thanks guys! Appreciate you! XXXXOO