Tan intenso como tu
My stomach is KILLING me right now. I had a guaraná to keep me awake, and the bubbles, sugar and caffeine are not making me happy. Yich.
And Covero didn´t want to comment on my card last night, but I assured him it was no big deal, tudo normal, and so he doesn´t think I love him or anything similar to that, thank god. Now I feel silly and girly, but we´ll just blow it off, ok?
Oooooh, so theology test was BLOWN. I read, reviewed my notes, and for some reason, the test consisted of random facts that I obviously missed. So I bombed it. Who knew Thomas Aquinas was a saint? Who the fuck was Saint Agostine? And why didn´t I review that random little sheet from the beginning of the semester that talked about the beacons of christian ethic?
So I left class depressed, and the father came out after me (he probably saw the pathetic nearly blank sheet I turned in). He remembered that I wrote him an email last Wednesday asking for a list of topics, or something, to help me study. Well luckily he remembered, and said he´d review my test and we´d talk later. Ooh, for some reason I had a knot in my throat, and I just "Foi mal, foi muito mal." and gave him a thankful smirk.
So I went to go tell Maddy who was eating, as usual, downstairs. And when I was talking I started up with all my academic apathy again. I´m a horrible, lazy student, and being in Rio makes it worse. Not being able to understand certain things (in theology especially), and express myself, also makes it worse.
So really, passing my classes is my ultimate goal here in Brazil. And even if I get bad grades, which I will, ultimately, really, sinceramente, I´m in college because I have to be. All apathy aside, what the fuck am I going to do with a major in Portuguese and Brazilian studies? I didn´t really want to go to grad school either, so screw that idea for the time being. I can always go back if I change my mind.
Basically, I shouldn´t be so hard on myself for being a horrible student, because this isn´t really what I want to be doing anyway, and I just need to float by to get my degree. It´s not like I have a specialization like Iris as a teacher, or James as an accountant anyway, who am I trying to impress? I´m telling you, it´s all about trade. And I´m really set on this small business idea, hot dog van, pipoca vendor, pousada Dona...I´ll just work some medium paying job in the states for 5-10 years, save, and move on from there. I need to stop being so hard on myself for not being a high achiever, or even a mediocre achiever. It´s just, not, who I am.
Speaking of Iris, I got TWO, say it again, TWO surprises from her yesterday! A package full of smelly goodies and a phone call!!! It made me sooooo ecstatic, although I felt bad for monopolizing the conversation, like I always do. Jesus Christ shit. But I love her, and miss her, and she needs to stop thinking that I have an exciting life because if she only saw my lazy ass in action...or not in action. I MISS YOU NENA!
TAN INTENSO COMO TU!
And Covero didn´t want to comment on my card last night, but I assured him it was no big deal, tudo normal, and so he doesn´t think I love him or anything similar to that, thank god. Now I feel silly and girly, but we´ll just blow it off, ok?
Oooooh, so theology test was BLOWN. I read, reviewed my notes, and for some reason, the test consisted of random facts that I obviously missed. So I bombed it. Who knew Thomas Aquinas was a saint? Who the fuck was Saint Agostine? And why didn´t I review that random little sheet from the beginning of the semester that talked about the beacons of christian ethic?
So I left class depressed, and the father came out after me (he probably saw the pathetic nearly blank sheet I turned in). He remembered that I wrote him an email last Wednesday asking for a list of topics, or something, to help me study. Well luckily he remembered, and said he´d review my test and we´d talk later. Ooh, for some reason I had a knot in my throat, and I just "Foi mal, foi muito mal." and gave him a thankful smirk.
So I went to go tell Maddy who was eating, as usual, downstairs. And when I was talking I started up with all my academic apathy again. I´m a horrible, lazy student, and being in Rio makes it worse. Not being able to understand certain things (in theology especially), and express myself, also makes it worse.
So really, passing my classes is my ultimate goal here in Brazil. And even if I get bad grades, which I will, ultimately, really, sinceramente, I´m in college because I have to be. All apathy aside, what the fuck am I going to do with a major in Portuguese and Brazilian studies? I didn´t really want to go to grad school either, so screw that idea for the time being. I can always go back if I change my mind.
Basically, I shouldn´t be so hard on myself for being a horrible student, because this isn´t really what I want to be doing anyway, and I just need to float by to get my degree. It´s not like I have a specialization like Iris as a teacher, or James as an accountant anyway, who am I trying to impress? I´m telling you, it´s all about trade. And I´m really set on this small business idea, hot dog van, pipoca vendor, pousada Dona...I´ll just work some medium paying job in the states for 5-10 years, save, and move on from there. I need to stop being so hard on myself for not being a high achiever, or even a mediocre achiever. It´s just, not, who I am.
Speaking of Iris, I got TWO, say it again, TWO surprises from her yesterday! A package full of smelly goodies and a phone call!!! It made me sooooo ecstatic, although I felt bad for monopolizing the conversation, like I always do. Jesus Christ shit. But I love her, and miss her, and she needs to stop thinking that I have an exciting life because if she only saw my lazy ass in action...or not in action. I MISS YOU NENA!
TAN INTENSO COMO TU!