Relationships are a BITCH!
Wow, it’s been a long time since I’ve updated or been on this website. I have a lot of catching up to do. But unfortunately I don’t know where to start and I haven’t got the time to explain a lot of stuff.
So this will be in short:
Before writing this I was going to post an entry explaining how happy I think I am and how everything seems to be going smooth. I have this “boyfriend” I have this job and for once I feel somewhat satisfied. But then I got to thinking and to be honest I’m not as “happy” as I think I am. You see it’s funny how much of a person’s past you can come to understand when you browse through files on a personal computer. Pictures mostly. Yes I know this is wrong and rude. But I’m gunna tell you straight out, I’m the most jealous nosiest person you’ll come to meet. Pictures can mean and tell a lot. Pictures of family, friends, pets, self-photos, past crushes, ex-girlfriends, and the former girlfriend…catch my drift? I did something wrong and went in and looked at things I shouldn’t have looked at and I find myself disgusted at what I saw. Not disgusted…more like let down. Looking at pictures in chronological order just left me feeling like another name on a list. I’m here now but in another two or three months whose pictures will be after mine?
klsdajhfskjdhf this insecurity shit is no good. I have no faith in anything I do and especially in this so called “relationship” that I find myself in at the moment. I’m concentrating SO much on how this all will end then actually enjoying what I have in the present.
I have no trust in anyone or anything.
Goodnight…
So this will be in short:
Before writing this I was going to post an entry explaining how happy I think I am and how everything seems to be going smooth. I have this “boyfriend” I have this job and for once I feel somewhat satisfied. But then I got to thinking and to be honest I’m not as “happy” as I think I am. You see it’s funny how much of a person’s past you can come to understand when you browse through files on a personal computer. Pictures mostly. Yes I know this is wrong and rude. But I’m gunna tell you straight out, I’m the most jealous nosiest person you’ll come to meet. Pictures can mean and tell a lot. Pictures of family, friends, pets, self-photos, past crushes, ex-girlfriends, and the former girlfriend…catch my drift? I did something wrong and went in and looked at things I shouldn’t have looked at and I find myself disgusted at what I saw. Not disgusted…more like let down. Looking at pictures in chronological order just left me feeling like another name on a list. I’m here now but in another two or three months whose pictures will be after mine?
klsdajhfskjdhf this insecurity shit is no good. I have no faith in anything I do and especially in this so called “relationship” that I find myself in at the moment. I’m concentrating SO much on how this all will end then actually enjoying what I have in the present.
I have no trust in anyone or anything.
Goodnight…