Jared turns 21 tomorrow...yay!!!!!!!
I wish I was happy with my appearance. Nobody understands why I'm not, but I swear what I see in the mirror is the truth. I stare in the mirror and all I see are my imperfections, and things I can change with surgery. Like i want liposuction on my arms, stomach, thighs, face. I want a smaller nose, and I want my top lip to be as full as my bottom lip. I want the white sun spots on my arms to go away-I just want everything. The only thing I'm happy with are my calves, and that's because I dance soooo much, so they're soooo strong. I've actually talked to a surgeon about liposuction, and he laughed in my face and told me I'm unrealistic, but I'm not! So, I figured since they won't do it on me, I'll take matters into my own hands and lose the fat the old-fashioned way:diet and exercise. Katie has this dress that's a size 0 that I'm dying to wear to my cousin's bat mitzvah on April 1, so I gotta lose the weight to fit into that. It's gorgeous! I really hope I can do it!
So, everyone has heard from UMD except for me, and I dunno why. I keep looking online and it says "a decision on your application has not yet been made. We will contact you as soon as a decision has been finalized." So-what does that mean?
Something came from UDel the other day, and I started freaking out even though I know Delaware doesn't come out until mid-march, and then I realized it was addressed to Jared, not me.
This weekend was filled with shopping and working out-thats just all I did. Is it sad that I'd rather work out in the gym than go out with my friends? I think so, but I'm only doing this for a short amount of time; I just really need to lose this weight. Once I lose the weight, I'll be out every night with my friends, but until then...it's all about exercise.
I wish I had a boyfriend. Like I have guys I'm "doing stuff" with right now, but it's just not the same. I want a guy I can just sit there and talk with, ya know? And not be forced to take off my clothes or something. I want a guy I can trust, and know that he's not just using me for sex. I mean, I don't mind that, but it would just be nice to have a relationship that's based on something more than sex and the physical aspect. I mean, it's all my fault because I don't let myself have those types of relationships, but I really think I want one right now. But it might just be right now, like tomorrow I probably won't feel this way. I don't know...
So, everyone has heard from UMD except for me, and I dunno why. I keep looking online and it says "a decision on your application has not yet been made. We will contact you as soon as a decision has been finalized." So-what does that mean?
Something came from UDel the other day, and I started freaking out even though I know Delaware doesn't come out until mid-march, and then I realized it was addressed to Jared, not me.
This weekend was filled with shopping and working out-thats just all I did. Is it sad that I'd rather work out in the gym than go out with my friends? I think so, but I'm only doing this for a short amount of time; I just really need to lose this weight. Once I lose the weight, I'll be out every night with my friends, but until then...it's all about exercise.
I wish I had a boyfriend. Like I have guys I'm "doing stuff" with right now, but it's just not the same. I want a guy I can just sit there and talk with, ya know? And not be forced to take off my clothes or something. I want a guy I can trust, and know that he's not just using me for sex. I mean, I don't mind that, but it would just be nice to have a relationship that's based on something more than sex and the physical aspect. I mean, it's all my fault because I don't let myself have those types of relationships, but I really think I want one right now. But it might just be right now, like tomorrow I probably won't feel this way. I don't know...