Old Man Nuisance
This old man that lives across from me is out in his patio everyday making ridiculous noises. For the first two weeks I couldn't even conceive what on earth he was doing because it sounded like he was trying out for foley team on Sesame Street. Every morning at 8:30AM he goes outside and makes noise until 10AM. This is what his diary entries must look like.
Week 1: Well I noticed I didn't like the spacing of the fenced in back patio this morning so I decided to space them apart 1/2 inch. So, I had to take down each plank, one by one of course, slam them down on the patio, use the saw every 2 minutes. (Annoying because it wasn't constant sawing but at close intervals) Then I made sure to put them all back up about 10 planks a day.
Week 2: I decided to make thunder they like do on those TV movies I've been watching these days. I figured the morning was the best time to do it, and the sound would be even better because it would ricochet off of the apartment building in front of mine. Next week, I think I'll try making a xylophone out of water glasses.
Week 3: I really have the hankering to chop some wood. Sure, I don't have a fireplace, nor am I allowed to have a fire on my patio but what the heck...there's nothing else to do SATURDAY at 8:30AM. Then after I'm done I'll make sure to stack the logs very loudly outside of my patio because, it's such an eyesore to look at. Maybe the hornets can build a nice little nest in there for the summer.
Week 4: I decided to make a shed that looks identical to the shed that is ALREADY ON MY PATIO except I'll put a plastic door on the front instead of the wooden one that's already here. You can't have too many sheds in a 6 ft radius. You can be sure that I will need to really crank up the Beethoven while I do this. Just like my sonic experience with making thunder, I realize, the ricochet really gives it that concert hall effect that I wouldn't get at normal volumes at 8:30AM.
Did I mention he does this at 8:30am? I'm sorry my attention span is gone because of the sleep deprivation.
Week 1: Well I noticed I didn't like the spacing of the fenced in back patio this morning so I decided to space them apart 1/2 inch. So, I had to take down each plank, one by one of course, slam them down on the patio, use the saw every 2 minutes. (Annoying because it wasn't constant sawing but at close intervals) Then I made sure to put them all back up about 10 planks a day.
Week 2: I decided to make thunder they like do on those TV movies I've been watching these days. I figured the morning was the best time to do it, and the sound would be even better because it would ricochet off of the apartment building in front of mine. Next week, I think I'll try making a xylophone out of water glasses.
Week 3: I really have the hankering to chop some wood. Sure, I don't have a fireplace, nor am I allowed to have a fire on my patio but what the heck...there's nothing else to do SATURDAY at 8:30AM. Then after I'm done I'll make sure to stack the logs very loudly outside of my patio because, it's such an eyesore to look at. Maybe the hornets can build a nice little nest in there for the summer.
Week 4: I decided to make a shed that looks identical to the shed that is ALREADY ON MY PATIO except I'll put a plastic door on the front instead of the wooden one that's already here. You can't have too many sheds in a 6 ft radius. You can be sure that I will need to really crank up the Beethoven while I do this. Just like my sonic experience with making thunder, I realize, the ricochet really gives it that concert hall effect that I wouldn't get at normal volumes at 8:30AM.
Did I mention he does this at 8:30am? I'm sorry my attention span is gone because of the sleep deprivation.