Writer's Block.
So I'm sitting here with a writer's block on some of my scholarship personal statements. It's like, I have all these really important things that have happened and shaped my life and my person but I just can't make it sound right! And the deadline is Saturday! And I really need all this scholarship money but I fear I might lose out because I simply did not take the time I should have to write these fucking essays. Instead I'm trying to get all this done by 9pm so I can get ready to go out and drink.
How am I supposed to communicate that I love the idea of a library itself?! That I love that people come there to learn and get shit to keep learning. How do I say that I love nothing more than the idea of people learning all about the world about whatever the fuck they want and didn't even know they wanted to know in a simple building? How do I say I want to get people to just look in these books, because this book, or this DVD, or this fucking person you meet might open your eyes and heart and mind to a whole 'nother spectrum of the universe. How do I say that knowledge is infinite and the idea of not ever knowing enough but knowing that if I wanted to know anything I could learn it by going to the library and researching?
How do I say that the idea of all of this fucking excites me! And that I'm so filled with love and passion for the library that I don't want to do anything else! Doesn't that make me special? That I fucking love the library and all the knowledge stuck in little words on pages on shelves in this stupid little building?! How do I say that?!
How do I communicate how hard working and enthusiastic I am about working for the library, about becoming a librarian, about distributing and helping people research and find shit that can lead to new research and possibilities. How do I say look, I almost got my leg chopped off and all I thought as I looked at that ocean with my blood in it was "Wow, I haven't helped anyone really" and being a librarian will help me help people!
How do I say hey! I'm special! I travelled through South America and learned a shitload about myself and learned that we can only learn from one another across continents and help make this world a better place and shit.
The point is, I am crazy (obviously), I want to make the world a better place, and I feel like the only way I want to take part in this, even in some miniscule little role of it (or a big one) is that I WANT/NEED to be a librarian, because fuck everything else.
HOW DO I SAY THAT?!
and to end this entry of mere frustration, here's a link to some beautiful libraries I can dream that one day I'll work in one or direct one of my very own.
http://www.thegentlemanscholar.com/Famous_Libraries.html
http://www.thegentlemanscholar.com/Famous_Libraries.html
http://www.thegentlemanscholar.com/Famous_Libraries.html
WHY WOULDN'T I WANNA WORK HERE?!
How am I supposed to communicate that I love the idea of a library itself?! That I love that people come there to learn and get shit to keep learning. How do I say that I love nothing more than the idea of people learning all about the world about whatever the fuck they want and didn't even know they wanted to know in a simple building? How do I say I want to get people to just look in these books, because this book, or this DVD, or this fucking person you meet might open your eyes and heart and mind to a whole 'nother spectrum of the universe. How do I say that knowledge is infinite and the idea of not ever knowing enough but knowing that if I wanted to know anything I could learn it by going to the library and researching?
How do I say that the idea of all of this fucking excites me! And that I'm so filled with love and passion for the library that I don't want to do anything else! Doesn't that make me special? That I fucking love the library and all the knowledge stuck in little words on pages on shelves in this stupid little building?! How do I say that?!
How do I communicate how hard working and enthusiastic I am about working for the library, about becoming a librarian, about distributing and helping people research and find shit that can lead to new research and possibilities. How do I say look, I almost got my leg chopped off and all I thought as I looked at that ocean with my blood in it was "Wow, I haven't helped anyone really" and being a librarian will help me help people!
How do I say hey! I'm special! I travelled through South America and learned a shitload about myself and learned that we can only learn from one another across continents and help make this world a better place and shit.
The point is, I am crazy (obviously), I want to make the world a better place, and I feel like the only way I want to take part in this, even in some miniscule little role of it (or a big one) is that I WANT/NEED to be a librarian, because fuck everything else.
HOW DO I SAY THAT?!
and to end this entry of mere frustration, here's a link to some beautiful libraries I can dream that one day I'll work in one or direct one of my very own.
http://www.thegentlemanscholar.com/Famous_Libraries.html
http://www.thegentlemanscholar.com/Famous_Libraries.html
http://www.thegentlemanscholar.com/Famous_Libraries.html
WHY WOULDN'T I WANNA WORK HERE?!