(no subject)
okay so i finally have had some time to cool off.
i hate when i get so mad that i just say things uncontrollably. it is the end of senior year and instead of being upset over a stupid thing that someone said I should be trying to work things out with her and just talk to her about how i feel. tension is so high with everyone because this is a extremly stressful time for everyone. pretty soon we'll all go our seperate ways and that will be that. my new goal for a college me is to learn to not take things so personally. i tend to do that may to much and in the end it just hurts me more than i already was hurt. sometimes i swear i can honestly say that i hate my fucking life. i hate how it is so difficult and how i have so many things to deal with at times. i have tried so so so so hard not to throw myself a little pity party when it comes to my accident but it just sucks. i hate having to always rely on other people to things for me like give me rides everywhere. and i just recently found out that she can't stand it neither. im sorry betsy...really i am. sometimes i wish that my dad would just buy a new car, but then i feel selfish because i know that he can't afford it right now. did i fuck everything up for my family?? well it sure seems like it at times. today i got in a really big fight with my dad. it was so big that i had to stay home from school because i was so angry. im sick of fucking fighting with you dad. our personalitities just always seem to clash and i cant deal with that.
I feel awful for the comment i left yesterday. (sorry betz)
I know you way to much to realize that you would never say anything to personally attack or hurt anyone. you were just having a stressful day and all of us have those. im sorry that i ask you to drive me and my brother all the time. its just this whole car situation is really shitty right now. i wouldn't want anything to hurt our amazing friendship because you have been such a great friend to me.
i hate when i get so mad that i just say things uncontrollably. it is the end of senior year and instead of being upset over a stupid thing that someone said I should be trying to work things out with her and just talk to her about how i feel. tension is so high with everyone because this is a extremly stressful time for everyone. pretty soon we'll all go our seperate ways and that will be that. my new goal for a college me is to learn to not take things so personally. i tend to do that may to much and in the end it just hurts me more than i already was hurt. sometimes i swear i can honestly say that i hate my fucking life. i hate how it is so difficult and how i have so many things to deal with at times. i have tried so so so so hard not to throw myself a little pity party when it comes to my accident but it just sucks. i hate having to always rely on other people to things for me like give me rides everywhere. and i just recently found out that she can't stand it neither. im sorry betsy...really i am. sometimes i wish that my dad would just buy a new car, but then i feel selfish because i know that he can't afford it right now. did i fuck everything up for my family?? well it sure seems like it at times. today i got in a really big fight with my dad. it was so big that i had to stay home from school because i was so angry. im sick of fucking fighting with you dad. our personalitities just always seem to clash and i cant deal with that.
I feel awful for the comment i left yesterday. (sorry betz)
I know you way to much to realize that you would never say anything to personally attack or hurt anyone. you were just having a stressful day and all of us have those. im sorry that i ask you to drive me and my brother all the time. its just this whole car situation is really shitty right now. i wouldn't want anything to hurt our amazing friendship because you have been such a great friend to me.