oy.
today was weird. i've been sick-ish for a couple days now. sucks.
i was kinda reminiscing and stuff all day. i hate when i do that, because unless i'm with Jade, i just get mopey about it and tend to remember bad things instead of funny things that have happened. and i keep thinking how when Amber came over, and we were looking through the pictures on the laptop, and they were all labeled like "so and so's birthday", "christmas party" and just STUFF. her and Jacob actually go do STUFF and take pictures. almost every picture on my computer is Emma or family things. it just sucks that we can't do things. not even because of Emma, just because he works 12 hours a day, 6 days a week. i am happy however that we're going out this weekend. i hope Christopher doesn't flake, but even if him and Brynn don't go, we're still taking Em to mom's house and going out like regular 20 somethings. i keep seeing all these people my age drinking and partying and generally acting their age, and i'm like, ugh that's immature. but that's what 20 year olds do! most 20 year olds aren't settled down with husbands and houses and babies. I'M the abnormal one.. not them. don't get me wrong, i love my life and this is what i wanted, whether i chose for it to happen right now or not. it could have waited a few years but that's not what happened. i love my daughter and i wouldn't trade her for nights of stupid partying. i just miss having friends. i don't even know how to talk to people anymore. i have nothing to say, unless you want to talk about weddings or children. the only people i can actually have conversations with are people that i already know incredibly well, and that's not a large group of people. like.. 4.
weebles wobble but they don't fall down. lol
i was kinda reminiscing and stuff all day. i hate when i do that, because unless i'm with Jade, i just get mopey about it and tend to remember bad things instead of funny things that have happened. and i keep thinking how when Amber came over, and we were looking through the pictures on the laptop, and they were all labeled like "so and so's birthday", "christmas party" and just STUFF. her and Jacob actually go do STUFF and take pictures. almost every picture on my computer is Emma or family things. it just sucks that we can't do things. not even because of Emma, just because he works 12 hours a day, 6 days a week. i am happy however that we're going out this weekend. i hope Christopher doesn't flake, but even if him and Brynn don't go, we're still taking Em to mom's house and going out like regular 20 somethings. i keep seeing all these people my age drinking and partying and generally acting their age, and i'm like, ugh that's immature. but that's what 20 year olds do! most 20 year olds aren't settled down with husbands and houses and babies. I'M the abnormal one.. not them. don't get me wrong, i love my life and this is what i wanted, whether i chose for it to happen right now or not. it could have waited a few years but that's not what happened. i love my daughter and i wouldn't trade her for nights of stupid partying. i just miss having friends. i don't even know how to talk to people anymore. i have nothing to say, unless you want to talk about weddings or children. the only people i can actually have conversations with are people that i already know incredibly well, and that's not a large group of people. like.. 4.
weebles wobble but they don't fall down. lol