Update for the new year
So far, I can honestly say, this year is turning out to be pretty lame. But here are my thoughts for the new year:
1.On a positive note, I was hired to sing opera with an orchestra for real MONIES. That was awesome. And unexpectedly, the opera director at school hooked it up.
2.I don't really have a clue about what is going on next year, except I need to move outside the city, as rent here in increasingly ridiculous. I won't know until at least March, if I get to be in a special 3rd year program at school, with an internship with an opera company. It's all weird and very selective, so I have no idea what's going on with that.
3.I read some of pride & prejudice last night and took some Nyquil, and as such, had really weird dreams about letter writing and speaking in older English.
4.I also was having a pretty shitty night, and am wondering what to do on the boyfriend front. We used to spend a ton of time together, or at least a ton of nights...since he lives a block away, and now I see him maybe twice (usually once at work, which doesn't even count). I don't know why lines of communication seem to be insane in boyland, but despite saying things like "I'll call you later baby, and tell you what i'm doing tonight," he never calls. Normally, in someone I was dating, I would find this to be typical boy behavior, but we will have been dating for a year in February. I sometimes feel that I am broken in the relationship department, and an unstable career field really doesn't help my insecurities in life. There, I said it, insecure. I find myself to be attractive and smart, and yet, my intelligence seems to do nothing to recommend me to a healthy relationship. I find myself often getting the "you are too good for me" talk, which clearly means that guys prefer an asshole or more likely, that musicians are totally self-involved shits. Yup, it's true. Good thing that's pretty much the dating pool i've been around for 6 years. Any-who, whine whine. Weird dreams didn't seem to help either.
5.I also seem to have the worst immune system ever, and got sick on Thursday for at least the third time this year. It really wouldn't bother me, but you try singing with laryngitis.
6. In typical Kowalske family style, my mom had back and neck surgery to fix various problems that come from getting hit by two drunk drivers over the years. Though the surgery was just swell, due to awesome Lupus, (which is an inflammatory disease that basically makes every injury or illness practically incapacatating) she should have been out of the hospital in a few days, she has been in for over a week. Not only that, but her throat (they had to enter the front of her neck for surgery) has been swollen and she hasn't been able to eat at all. They had to insert some sort of tube that gives her some form of nourishment, but she didn't even have that for 5 days. I mean, I can barely go for 2 hours without eating. I heard from my dad yesterday, that she now has thrush on her tongue, which by all accounts, sounds disgusting.
I swear, my mom has the worst health ever, and it really sickens me to know that she's in the hospital with tubes sticking out of her and...all of her arms black and blue because Iv's don't like to stay put.
7.My parents are awesome, and if I didn't have them, I would be living in a box on the streets. Life is terribly expensive, and they are so obliging about everything. They will help me out next year, and probably, as long as I need it...as long as they continue to work like crazy people.
8.I often wonder how different life would have been if I had went to a state school (for free) and done something else that was my passion, like History or English. As scary as it sounds, I am almost positive I would have been engaged or something by now, if I would have went to a real university. It's just such a different world in a music conservatory...and I would have had the chance to meet more people who had direction and were grounded in their lives.
Not like I'm crazy wanting to marry some random person just because, but I can barely think of one fellow musician (outside of my friends who married and met in undergrad, and several girls who are married to non-musicians from their undergrad university) who even entertains the thought of having any sort of serious relationship.
9.Apparently, I like making lists.
I'm going to go sneeze some more, before I have to do laundry and head to school.
XOXO Gossip Girl
ha,I want to sign everything that way
1.On a positive note, I was hired to sing opera with an orchestra for real MONIES. That was awesome. And unexpectedly, the opera director at school hooked it up.
2.I don't really have a clue about what is going on next year, except I need to move outside the city, as rent here in increasingly ridiculous. I won't know until at least March, if I get to be in a special 3rd year program at school, with an internship with an opera company. It's all weird and very selective, so I have no idea what's going on with that.
3.I read some of pride & prejudice last night and took some Nyquil, and as such, had really weird dreams about letter writing and speaking in older English.
4.I also was having a pretty shitty night, and am wondering what to do on the boyfriend front. We used to spend a ton of time together, or at least a ton of nights...since he lives a block away, and now I see him maybe twice (usually once at work, which doesn't even count). I don't know why lines of communication seem to be insane in boyland, but despite saying things like "I'll call you later baby, and tell you what i'm doing tonight," he never calls. Normally, in someone I was dating, I would find this to be typical boy behavior, but we will have been dating for a year in February. I sometimes feel that I am broken in the relationship department, and an unstable career field really doesn't help my insecurities in life. There, I said it, insecure. I find myself to be attractive and smart, and yet, my intelligence seems to do nothing to recommend me to a healthy relationship. I find myself often getting the "you are too good for me" talk, which clearly means that guys prefer an asshole or more likely, that musicians are totally self-involved shits. Yup, it's true. Good thing that's pretty much the dating pool i've been around for 6 years. Any-who, whine whine. Weird dreams didn't seem to help either.
5.I also seem to have the worst immune system ever, and got sick on Thursday for at least the third time this year. It really wouldn't bother me, but you try singing with laryngitis.
6. In typical Kowalske family style, my mom had back and neck surgery to fix various problems that come from getting hit by two drunk drivers over the years. Though the surgery was just swell, due to awesome Lupus, (which is an inflammatory disease that basically makes every injury or illness practically incapacatating) she should have been out of the hospital in a few days, she has been in for over a week. Not only that, but her throat (they had to enter the front of her neck for surgery) has been swollen and she hasn't been able to eat at all. They had to insert some sort of tube that gives her some form of nourishment, but she didn't even have that for 5 days. I mean, I can barely go for 2 hours without eating. I heard from my dad yesterday, that she now has thrush on her tongue, which by all accounts, sounds disgusting.
I swear, my mom has the worst health ever, and it really sickens me to know that she's in the hospital with tubes sticking out of her and...all of her arms black and blue because Iv's don't like to stay put.
7.My parents are awesome, and if I didn't have them, I would be living in a box on the streets. Life is terribly expensive, and they are so obliging about everything. They will help me out next year, and probably, as long as I need it...as long as they continue to work like crazy people.
8.I often wonder how different life would have been if I had went to a state school (for free) and done something else that was my passion, like History or English. As scary as it sounds, I am almost positive I would have been engaged or something by now, if I would have went to a real university. It's just such a different world in a music conservatory...and I would have had the chance to meet more people who had direction and were grounded in their lives.
Not like I'm crazy wanting to marry some random person just because, but I can barely think of one fellow musician (outside of my friends who married and met in undergrad, and several girls who are married to non-musicians from their undergrad university) who even entertains the thought of having any sort of serious relationship.
9.Apparently, I like making lists.
I'm going to go sneeze some more, before I have to do laundry and head to school.
XOXO Gossip Girl
ha,I want to sign everything that way