(no subject)
I had a dream about death last night. Fittingly, I suppose, but it was also terribly... ironic? That's not the right word.
I had dreams that two of my friends died, and I was so distraught that I decided I would get them back. I snuck into this giant warehouse that had a staff and a front counter and you had to go through this pedicure place to get to it. But everyone who had died within the last year was in this huge room with pink and lavender walls. I just waltzed out like I was supposed to be there, took them by the hands and lead them out. They couldn't leave on their own, they had to be taken. And it wasn't a big process, as long as you put in the effort to get them back, you could get them back a thousand times over. I just walked out with them, and they were alive and in the real world.
How odd...
I have this huge sense of irony about all this, and it makes me sick to talk about, but I can't stop thinking about this one moment I had with Chris.. You'll know why.
It was during the Tennessee trip. The rock climbing one, of course, where I met Dale. Chris and I were at the top of the mountain, communing. We were the only ones up there and we were just looking out in silence at how beautiful everything was. We talked a bit, and I found this patch of bouldering area right next to the edge... I started to climb it, he told me not to. I was dumb, I climbed it anyways. I hadn't noticed, but he'd moved over to me to make sure I was okay. I almost got to the top too, but I didn't. I fell. I stumbled to the ground, and then backwards a few feet to the edge. I would have fallen. He grabbed my harness and threw his weight backwards and I toppled onto him.
He saved my life.
I can't get out of my head. Or anyone of this, really. I keep moving in and out of shock. It's so weird.. I feel cold right now. I can only imagine how they feel..
I had dreams that two of my friends died, and I was so distraught that I decided I would get them back. I snuck into this giant warehouse that had a staff and a front counter and you had to go through this pedicure place to get to it. But everyone who had died within the last year was in this huge room with pink and lavender walls. I just waltzed out like I was supposed to be there, took them by the hands and lead them out. They couldn't leave on their own, they had to be taken. And it wasn't a big process, as long as you put in the effort to get them back, you could get them back a thousand times over. I just walked out with them, and they were alive and in the real world.
How odd...
I have this huge sense of irony about all this, and it makes me sick to talk about, but I can't stop thinking about this one moment I had with Chris.. You'll know why.
It was during the Tennessee trip. The rock climbing one, of course, where I met Dale. Chris and I were at the top of the mountain, communing. We were the only ones up there and we were just looking out in silence at how beautiful everything was. We talked a bit, and I found this patch of bouldering area right next to the edge... I started to climb it, he told me not to. I was dumb, I climbed it anyways. I hadn't noticed, but he'd moved over to me to make sure I was okay. I almost got to the top too, but I didn't. I fell. I stumbled to the ground, and then backwards a few feet to the edge. I would have fallen. He grabbed my harness and threw his weight backwards and I toppled onto him.
He saved my life.
I can't get out of my head. Or anyone of this, really. I keep moving in and out of shock. It's so weird.. I feel cold right now. I can only imagine how they feel..