(no subject)
Have you ever wanted to write something that was so poetic so meaningful. Something you could with a few words and your outlook on life you touch people through words? For me i have always wanted to do this. But I think of the words somewhere other than a computer and then i get infront and the words are gone. The words that I believed has become vapor and vanished into the other things that disappear in my memory.
I could say many things in a conversation and it mean nothing. But when you write, the reader creates the meaning, and nothing goes meaningless. Words are full of color, life.
So many views on life out there. So many words out there.
Personalness comes in here >>>>>
John and I have come to the conclusion we havent lived in our happy medium. I miss corpus, my friends, family, social life, ect...john he just has family in corpus. Me I am miserable here. He having the time of his life leaving me behind.
I am starting to feel so disconnected with him. I know I can blame it on PTSD, but when will it stop. When will his PTSD go away.
He came home the other day and said my next day off we have an appointment for this marriage one on one with his doctors. They know he can't share things with me. He doesn't listen, even though he does. I guess it is more he doesn't comprehend. I guess it has just been making me think more about how miserable i am here. How ready I am to move out of el paso. How much I miss home. How miserable I am here.
My moods have been in full swing lately. I'm tired of this hustle and bustle of my life right now. When did I grow up, when did i become an adult, when can i go back to school. When will my LIFE the way I want begin?
Life>>a word >>a thing we live>>the days we live the air we breathe>>
I haven't lived my life yet.
Fin.
I need out of this damn box. I jst want to cry and stop living the life i have here in el paso snap my fingers and be home, surrounded by people who get me understand me.
I could say many things in a conversation and it mean nothing. But when you write, the reader creates the meaning, and nothing goes meaningless. Words are full of color, life.
So many views on life out there. So many words out there.
Personalness comes in here >>>>>
John and I have come to the conclusion we havent lived in our happy medium. I miss corpus, my friends, family, social life, ect...john he just has family in corpus. Me I am miserable here. He having the time of his life leaving me behind.
I am starting to feel so disconnected with him. I know I can blame it on PTSD, but when will it stop. When will his PTSD go away.
He came home the other day and said my next day off we have an appointment for this marriage one on one with his doctors. They know he can't share things with me. He doesn't listen, even though he does. I guess it is more he doesn't comprehend. I guess it has just been making me think more about how miserable i am here. How ready I am to move out of el paso. How much I miss home. How miserable I am here.
My moods have been in full swing lately. I'm tired of this hustle and bustle of my life right now. When did I grow up, when did i become an adult, when can i go back to school. When will my LIFE the way I want begin?
Life>>a word >>a thing we live>>the days we live the air we breathe>>
I haven't lived my life yet.
Fin.
I need out of this damn box. I jst want to cry and stop living the life i have here in el paso snap my fingers and be home, surrounded by people who get me understand me.