your standard difficulties
Nothing like needing to write a cover letter to spur you on to update LJ more! But things are okay. Last I spoke to Mom, everyone was fine.
As for my own life, well, I'm not that blind nor that oblivious, and it doesn't take a genius to see that I am paralyzed. Maybe also a bit hunted. Nothing screams in my head anymore (no really, high school was a bad fucking time), but there are specters rustling in the darkness behind me. Most of the time, I'm pretty sure they're not real. But, it seems, trying to confront them lends them some solidity.
Obviously, the solution is not to blunder around, trying to do all this in the dark. I know what I have to do, and even if I didn't, now Matt's gotten on my case about it too. It's just difficult.
Things are good on other fronts, though. I had a damn good weekend. (/understatement!) The coming one should be good as well. Of all the things I have chosen to make as complicated and difficult for myself as possible, it's funny that polyamory should make me feel more comfortable, and more stable, and more secure.
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pillar
A pillar of salt or community or similar burdens. A column (Ionic is better than Dorian any day). Better to stand alone than be a support. Wait, did I get that right?
As for my own life, well, I'm not that blind nor that oblivious, and it doesn't take a genius to see that I am paralyzed. Maybe also a bit hunted. Nothing screams in my head anymore (no really, high school was a bad fucking time), but there are specters rustling in the darkness behind me. Most of the time, I'm pretty sure they're not real. But, it seems, trying to confront them lends them some solidity.
Obviously, the solution is not to blunder around, trying to do all this in the dark. I know what I have to do, and even if I didn't, now Matt's gotten on my case about it too. It's just difficult.
Things are good on other fronts, though. I had a damn good weekend. (/understatement!) The coming one should be good as well. Of all the things I have chosen to make as complicated and difficult for myself as possible, it's funny that polyamory should make me feel more comfortable, and more stable, and more secure.
-----
pillar
A pillar of salt or community or similar burdens. A column (Ionic is better than Dorian any day). Better to stand alone than be a support. Wait, did I get that right?