white horse
but i am hoping it's not too late. the song white horse just makes me cry sometimes.
Twin of mine, you did make light of everything and I appreciate it because it's all really bringing me down. I didn't explain much when we were talking because I was busy listening to that song and being way too emotional for my liking, but the final factor in my decision was this: If I don't wait out Matt's tech directing, I'll just wonder for the rest of my life if I made the right choice, and if it would have gotten better. It's really shitty for sky to be the one who always cheers me up, keeps me laughing, plays scrabble with me, and basically does all the hard work while Matt is the one who benefits. I fully acknowledge that. When he told me to stop straddling the fence... I guess I felt like it wasn't fair to him to keep going on like it's been. It's only been a few hours post-decision, but it's still just silly schuyler trying to prove he can keep me distracted from my work (yes, he challenged, i accepted) within the boundaries I had to establish, which lead to an hour of talking about paper size and how long it'll be til the moon hits the earth (tidal despinning, dontcha know, though i'm sure he didn't expect me to have actually calculated it). Point is, i feel like there was no easy answer and this was just the best for the long run. As schuyler put it, we can just "leave the option open and see where our lives take us." At least for now, I have my Day Late Friend and here's to hoping Matt will be less busy after the show.
(Sorry for being long-winded. I'm tired. The downside to being distracted... staying up later to finish things.)
CPrincessEclipse: i've made a decision, btw
jemappellebrttls: to not bother w/ sky because matt is special?
CPrincessEclipse: lol
CPrincessEclipse: am i transparent?
CPrincessEclipse: it's kinda like that
jemappellebrttls: you're obvious
CPrincessEclipse: mostly just that i WILL wait it out
CPrincessEclipse: THANKS, lol
jemappellebrttls: if you were gonna ditch matt you would've done it when you still had the option to get w/ sky
jemappellebrttls: you outwaited that so now the easiest thing to do is wait for matt to come around
CPrincessEclipse: EASIEST?
CPrincessEclipse: ha
jemappellebrttls: well it's easiest for matt at least
CPrincessEclipse: hm
CPrincessEclipse: i'm gonna try to go do some work
jemappellebrttls: how productive
jemappellebrttls: :P
CPrincessEclipse: haven't been for a while
CPrincessEclipse: my fault
jemappellebrttls: it's ok, my bf is just going to be playing fucking wow all night
CPrincessEclipse: for beign distracted
CPrincessEclipse: aaw
jemappellebrttls: distraction > work
CPrincessEclipse: i just want to be loved
jemappellebrttls: awww
CPrincessEclipse: and i want that person to show me they love me
CPrincessEclipse: even when i'm not around
jemappellebrttls: awww
jemappellebrttls: he needs to act better
CPrincessEclipse: yeah
CPrincessEclipse: it's what makes this waiting so hard
jemappellebrttls: i can understand thatt
Twin of mine, you did make light of everything and I appreciate it because it's all really bringing me down. I didn't explain much when we were talking because I was busy listening to that song and being way too emotional for my liking, but the final factor in my decision was this: If I don't wait out Matt's tech directing, I'll just wonder for the rest of my life if I made the right choice, and if it would have gotten better. It's really shitty for sky to be the one who always cheers me up, keeps me laughing, plays scrabble with me, and basically does all the hard work while Matt is the one who benefits. I fully acknowledge that. When he told me to stop straddling the fence... I guess I felt like it wasn't fair to him to keep going on like it's been. It's only been a few hours post-decision, but it's still just silly schuyler trying to prove he can keep me distracted from my work (yes, he challenged, i accepted) within the boundaries I had to establish, which lead to an hour of talking about paper size and how long it'll be til the moon hits the earth (tidal despinning, dontcha know, though i'm sure he didn't expect me to have actually calculated it). Point is, i feel like there was no easy answer and this was just the best for the long run. As schuyler put it, we can just "leave the option open and see where our lives take us." At least for now, I have my Day Late Friend and here's to hoping Matt will be less busy after the show.
(Sorry for being long-winded. I'm tired. The downside to being distracted... staying up later to finish things.)
CPrincessEclipse: i've made a decision, btw
jemappellebrttls: to not bother w/ sky because matt is special?
CPrincessEclipse: lol
CPrincessEclipse: am i transparent?
CPrincessEclipse: it's kinda like that
jemappellebrttls: you're obvious
CPrincessEclipse: mostly just that i WILL wait it out
CPrincessEclipse: THANKS, lol
jemappellebrttls: if you were gonna ditch matt you would've done it when you still had the option to get w/ sky
jemappellebrttls: you outwaited that so now the easiest thing to do is wait for matt to come around
CPrincessEclipse: EASIEST?
CPrincessEclipse: ha
jemappellebrttls: well it's easiest for matt at least
CPrincessEclipse: hm
CPrincessEclipse: i'm gonna try to go do some work
jemappellebrttls: how productive
jemappellebrttls: :P
CPrincessEclipse: haven't been for a while
CPrincessEclipse: my fault
jemappellebrttls: it's ok, my bf is just going to be playing fucking wow all night
CPrincessEclipse: for beign distracted
CPrincessEclipse: aaw
jemappellebrttls: distraction > work
CPrincessEclipse: i just want to be loved
jemappellebrttls: awww
CPrincessEclipse: and i want that person to show me they love me
CPrincessEclipse: even when i'm not around
jemappellebrttls: awww
jemappellebrttls: he needs to act better
CPrincessEclipse: yeah
CPrincessEclipse: it's what makes this waiting so hard
jemappellebrttls: i can understand thatt