Post 041: I guess that all you've got is all you're gonna get
Always assuming the worst but you're going on nonetheless and there's nothing to cushion your heart let fall.
Continually failing these trials though you stand by me nonetheless and you won't let me sink though I'm begging you, I'm begging you
I'm drunk again. Do we sense a pattern?
I just... I'm at Alex's and I went for a smoke and I'm like, is that Randi's car pulling up because she's coming over to hang with Alex Dave and I just like old times? No no it is not because it cannot be like old times. Dave and I are done (no regrets here about that; I had a weak moment when he left to go to his dad's for the weekend that I kind of wanted to kiss him but let's blame the beer okay?), Randi and Alex are very done, and ... it's weird, Alex not being with Randi.
Dave and Alex have a kitty cat!!! Her name is Zoe and she's so fucking cute. And young. I almost forgot how cute my cat was at that age, which makes me feel so goddamned old. I mean I got my cat when I was twelve, and now I'm twenty, and even though I hated how stupid I was then I just want things to go back to the way they were. I just want to go home.
Except I don't have a "home". I mean I'm having fun with Alex (Dave's gone to his dad's place for the next couple days, in case I hadn't made it clear) but I want a home to go home to. My mom's house just doesn't cut the mustard. And clearly I am drunk because who says the phrase "cut the mustard". how the shit do you cut mustard anyway? I mean it's not like it normally needs a knife. It is a somewhat viscous liquid, needing no knife except if you're going to spread it evenly over a sandwich. (I'm a little obsessive about even distribution of condiments on my sandwich or hot dog to be consumed- though mustard + hot dog = ewwwie.)
Clearly I am not fit to be in the internets. Good night friends of the heavenly bodies.
Bee
[edit at 3am]
Well, I didn't heed my own suggestion of no more internets, and I managed to mangle a friendship with my usual brand of stupidity. Yay me. Karma police this is what you get when you mess with us. Just because I'm hurting (exceedingly) doesn't give me the right to lash out. The worst part is I just want him to make it all better and he clearly can't. Nothing anyone can do. I knew this was how it was going to turn out, but I went ahead and did it anyway. Excellent decision making right here.
Congratulations! You win the Idiot of the Year award for your activities in the lovelorn category! You get to take away from this experience a couple more sleepless nights. Enjoy the grand prize, dipshit.
Take it from me, people of the internets: don't tell people you love them.
Continually failing these trials though you stand by me nonetheless and you won't let me sink though I'm begging you, I'm begging you
I'm drunk again. Do we sense a pattern?
I just... I'm at Alex's and I went for a smoke and I'm like, is that Randi's car pulling up because she's coming over to hang with Alex Dave and I just like old times? No no it is not because it cannot be like old times. Dave and I are done (no regrets here about that; I had a weak moment when he left to go to his dad's for the weekend that I kind of wanted to kiss him but let's blame the beer okay?), Randi and Alex are very done, and ... it's weird, Alex not being with Randi.
Dave and Alex have a kitty cat!!! Her name is Zoe and she's so fucking cute. And young. I almost forgot how cute my cat was at that age, which makes me feel so goddamned old. I mean I got my cat when I was twelve, and now I'm twenty, and even though I hated how stupid I was then I just want things to go back to the way they were. I just want to go home.
Except I don't have a "home". I mean I'm having fun with Alex (Dave's gone to his dad's place for the next couple days, in case I hadn't made it clear) but I want a home to go home to. My mom's house just doesn't cut the mustard. And clearly I am drunk because who says the phrase "cut the mustard". how the shit do you cut mustard anyway? I mean it's not like it normally needs a knife. It is a somewhat viscous liquid, needing no knife except if you're going to spread it evenly over a sandwich. (I'm a little obsessive about even distribution of condiments on my sandwich or hot dog to be consumed- though mustard + hot dog = ewwwie.)
Clearly I am not fit to be in the internets. Good night friends of the heavenly bodies.
Bee
[edit at 3am]
Well, I didn't heed my own suggestion of no more internets, and I managed to mangle a friendship with my usual brand of stupidity. Yay me. Karma police this is what you get when you mess with us. Just because I'm hurting (exceedingly) doesn't give me the right to lash out. The worst part is I just want him to make it all better and he clearly can't. Nothing anyone can do. I knew this was how it was going to turn out, but I went ahead and did it anyway. Excellent decision making right here.
Congratulations! You win the Idiot of the Year award for your activities in the lovelorn category! You get to take away from this experience a couple more sleepless nights. Enjoy the grand prize, dipshit.
Take it from me, people of the internets: don't tell people you love them.