Post 039: Insomnia strikes again
Despair. Sounds like it ought to come from the word 'espoir' in French, except you know the absence of hope.
There was something I was going to say here too, and I do not recall what it was. I'm sure it was related.
In any case, I have to work at 9am and I spent the last couple hours getting high and watching Buffy with Randi. I lead an exciting life. Riveting action here. Hangin' out in my Scooby-Doo pyjama (pajama? what an awkward word to spell) pants, taking in some TV from almost ten years back.
Damn I had something I really wanted to say. It was driving me nuts but by the time my computer started up and the internet was working it fled. Way to fail, brain. Something about passion, and despair, and possibly some poetry. It'd probably be trite anyway; it's for the best that I don't remember most likely.
So I have resolutions for this new year. Quitting my vices won't happen so I won't bother torturing myself for two weeks, but I think I can stick to two. At the very least I'll remember them. Getting my head sorted out is numero uno, and spending more time with my siblings is the other. I think I can handle going to see Sarah for two days in a month or so, and taking Chris out (or staying in and chilling with him) is totally doable.
OH thank you brain you don't fail so hard anymore! It's not very profound, but I'm saying it anyway.
So have you ever felt like screaming but your throat's too tight and your tongue feels too fat to even be fitting in your mouth let alone moving out of the way in time for said scream? I have that sensation right now. It is decidedly unpleasant. Kind of afraid to talk in case it comes out louder than expected, or as a sort of squeak thing.
Now that's out of the way, I can probably go to sleep now. Like Randi did, only almost two hours ago.
Goodnight,
Bee
There was something I was going to say here too, and I do not recall what it was. I'm sure it was related.
In any case, I have to work at 9am and I spent the last couple hours getting high and watching Buffy with Randi. I lead an exciting life. Riveting action here. Hangin' out in my Scooby-Doo pyjama (pajama? what an awkward word to spell) pants, taking in some TV from almost ten years back.
Damn I had something I really wanted to say. It was driving me nuts but by the time my computer started up and the internet was working it fled. Way to fail, brain. Something about passion, and despair, and possibly some poetry. It'd probably be trite anyway; it's for the best that I don't remember most likely.
So I have resolutions for this new year. Quitting my vices won't happen so I won't bother torturing myself for two weeks, but I think I can stick to two. At the very least I'll remember them. Getting my head sorted out is numero uno, and spending more time with my siblings is the other. I think I can handle going to see Sarah for two days in a month or so, and taking Chris out (or staying in and chilling with him) is totally doable.
OH thank you brain you don't fail so hard anymore! It's not very profound, but I'm saying it anyway.
So have you ever felt like screaming but your throat's too tight and your tongue feels too fat to even be fitting in your mouth let alone moving out of the way in time for said scream? I have that sensation right now. It is decidedly unpleasant. Kind of afraid to talk in case it comes out louder than expected, or as a sort of squeak thing.
Now that's out of the way, I can probably go to sleep now. Like Randi did, only almost two hours ago.
Goodnight,
Bee