Just another shitty, stupid, stupefyingly mind numbing Sunday
It amuses me that most of the population of this planet find this day to be holy... or special at all really. Meh. I am at work, wishing I wasn't, knowing that when I am at home I'll be wishing I wasn't there, either. What a great stride to be hitting, man! I have lucked out.
Ha.
Life isn't that bad. I just have been fighting with Jon the past few days and I can't really stand it... the negativity, the hidden resentments... it's like we hit routines and just follow them, and I'm just flying along all happy while he's building up the crust of unhappiness.
Urrgghh.
And I don't really know what I can do (if there's anything to be done), so when I go home after work I'm just waiting for the next bit of 'I'm not happy, you're never home, I'm going nuts here' to start.
What actually scares me more is that I'm going to say something in anger and exasperation that I don't mean, and that he'll take off. Damn it, I am a positive person (when I'm not alone with my thoughts, I guess... I suppose I should say that my tendency is to be happy when I am with another person) and I don't like what comes out of my mouth when I am forced to face my mental unhappiness.
'What are you thinking? What do you feel? ThouGhts? Opinions?'
Here's what I feel! I'll tell you what I damn FEEL!
It's just my first reaction. I can't help it. :)
Haha.
He's just so infuriating. About 80% of what I say in the mundane, routine parts of life he just ignores, but he doesn't understand why I get so pissy when he takes that authoritative, I've-looked-over-all-the-evidence tone, like he knows for a fact what's wrong, or even that something IS wrong. Guh.
Well. I thought to myself, 'I'm going to write a nice blog post, that'll stop my mental unrest for a minute at least.' Ha. Well, back to my daily grind of listening to Pandora.com, wishing Boingboing would update more, and beating my face in against the copy center desk.
'Do you think if Bill Gates had gotten laid in high school, that he would've created Microsoft? No. You've got to spend a lot of time being jammed into lockers for that kind of thing.'
Ha.
Life isn't that bad. I just have been fighting with Jon the past few days and I can't really stand it... the negativity, the hidden resentments... it's like we hit routines and just follow them, and I'm just flying along all happy while he's building up the crust of unhappiness.
Urrgghh.
And I don't really know what I can do (if there's anything to be done), so when I go home after work I'm just waiting for the next bit of 'I'm not happy, you're never home, I'm going nuts here' to start.
What actually scares me more is that I'm going to say something in anger and exasperation that I don't mean, and that he'll take off. Damn it, I am a positive person (when I'm not alone with my thoughts, I guess... I suppose I should say that my tendency is to be happy when I am with another person) and I don't like what comes out of my mouth when I am forced to face my mental unhappiness.
'What are you thinking? What do you feel? ThouGhts? Opinions?'
Here's what I feel! I'll tell you what I damn FEEL!
It's just my first reaction. I can't help it. :)
Haha.
He's just so infuriating. About 80% of what I say in the mundane, routine parts of life he just ignores, but he doesn't understand why I get so pissy when he takes that authoritative, I've-looked-over-all-the-evidence tone, like he knows for a fact what's wrong, or even that something IS wrong. Guh.
Well. I thought to myself, 'I'm going to write a nice blog post, that'll stop my mental unrest for a minute at least.' Ha. Well, back to my daily grind of listening to Pandora.com, wishing Boingboing would update more, and beating my face in against the copy center desk.
'Do you think if Bill Gates had gotten laid in high school, that he would've created Microsoft? No. You've got to spend a lot of time being jammed into lockers for that kind of thing.'