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Wednesday was an interesting day at work. I think it was Wednesday.... my memory is so bad.
I had a meeting scheduled with our temporary team leader and I knew it was about my lack of punctuality over the past few months. One of my friends had the same discussion with Katie so I knew a meeting was on the way.
That was fine. Katie is really great, very funny and friendly and just told me to improve or I could get a written warning on my record. She asked me a couple of times whether I was okay which I thought was a little odd. I replied yes to the first couple of times she asked me, but by the third time she actually said the reason she was asking was because I had been looking sad the last few days.
At that I started crying. Le sigh. I don't even know why I started crying but I did and had trouble stopping. I have been angry and frustrated about work because I find it so boring and want to do something different but hadn't really considered myself "sad."
I told her about my depression and how I'm on medication and she told me about the 3 free counseling sessions our work offers for employees and their families. It sounds good but I have no idea what I would say. I've had counseling before and it was great talking to someone impartial but I just don't like to talk much...
I know my life can be better. I am lonely, I don't have many friends (acquaintances yes) but that is a choice I make. I make no effort to get close to people and purposely keep them at arms length. It's funny how anti-social I am because I am quite popular at work.
It's odd - I have always been very well liked, no matter where I have been. I am a nice, friendly, generous person who often brings chocolate to work so no doubt that adds to my popularity, heh. Katie mentioned that in our talk. "You're a beautiful girl, everybody loves you. Your team loves you, so and so loves you, so and so also loves you..."
All my life I've somehow managed to have people like me despite my anti-socialness. I often wonder how I am able to do that, and I am glad I can. It makes me feel good in my dark days.
Nadia has mentioned several times about not living up to my potential.
Don't worry Nadia, I think about that a lot.
I had a meeting scheduled with our temporary team leader and I knew it was about my lack of punctuality over the past few months. One of my friends had the same discussion with Katie so I knew a meeting was on the way.
That was fine. Katie is really great, very funny and friendly and just told me to improve or I could get a written warning on my record. She asked me a couple of times whether I was okay which I thought was a little odd. I replied yes to the first couple of times she asked me, but by the third time she actually said the reason she was asking was because I had been looking sad the last few days.
At that I started crying. Le sigh. I don't even know why I started crying but I did and had trouble stopping. I have been angry and frustrated about work because I find it so boring and want to do something different but hadn't really considered myself "sad."
I told her about my depression and how I'm on medication and she told me about the 3 free counseling sessions our work offers for employees and their families. It sounds good but I have no idea what I would say. I've had counseling before and it was great talking to someone impartial but I just don't like to talk much...
I know my life can be better. I am lonely, I don't have many friends (acquaintances yes) but that is a choice I make. I make no effort to get close to people and purposely keep them at arms length. It's funny how anti-social I am because I am quite popular at work.
It's odd - I have always been very well liked, no matter where I have been. I am a nice, friendly, generous person who often brings chocolate to work so no doubt that adds to my popularity, heh. Katie mentioned that in our talk. "You're a beautiful girl, everybody loves you. Your team loves you, so and so loves you, so and so also loves you..."
All my life I've somehow managed to have people like me despite my anti-socialness. I often wonder how I am able to do that, and I am glad I can. It makes me feel good in my dark days.
Nadia has mentioned several times about not living up to my potential.
Don't worry Nadia, I think about that a lot.