Cluttered
At this moment I'm feeling so very cluttered, like everything inside me is telling me I need to do some mind cleaning.
But I've got no time for it, because I still haven't found a job, I'm still planning a wedding, I'm still trying very desperately to find my "calling" in life. I'm still doing so many things, yet I spend most of my day right on my ass. I haven't been getting up often enough to eat breakfast and that's really fucking things up, I've been to the gym once in three weeks and it's not helping me with the obvious notion that I need a routine to keep myself in order.
I need a routine and I've got chaos.
And chaos is not what I need.
I wish I could do everything on my own, but I can't and I HATE asking for help. I fucking hate it. Because I should be Supergirl, I shouldn't be Batgirl (who's awesome in her own right, but you know, she get's her ass kicked a lot.) But I'm not Supergirl, I'm just Jessica and I'm tired of being Jessica.
So from now on I shall be known as... Super Freakin A Man.
Or something catchier, I'm working on it.
But I'm serious, I just feel so over my head in everything, although there's nothing going on. Like I'm drowning in air. Yea, you get it now.
I think I'm going to take a break from my brain and focus on other things for a while, like going back to school, finding a job and keeping a home that isn't mine (but I live in) clean.
Love Jess.
But I've got no time for it, because I still haven't found a job, I'm still planning a wedding, I'm still trying very desperately to find my "calling" in life. I'm still doing so many things, yet I spend most of my day right on my ass. I haven't been getting up often enough to eat breakfast and that's really fucking things up, I've been to the gym once in three weeks and it's not helping me with the obvious notion that I need a routine to keep myself in order.
I need a routine and I've got chaos.
And chaos is not what I need.
I wish I could do everything on my own, but I can't and I HATE asking for help. I fucking hate it. Because I should be Supergirl, I shouldn't be Batgirl (who's awesome in her own right, but you know, she get's her ass kicked a lot.) But I'm not Supergirl, I'm just Jessica and I'm tired of being Jessica.
So from now on I shall be known as... Super Freakin A Man.
Or something catchier, I'm working on it.
But I'm serious, I just feel so over my head in everything, although there's nothing going on. Like I'm drowning in air. Yea, you get it now.
I think I'm going to take a break from my brain and focus on other things for a while, like going back to school, finding a job and keeping a home that isn't mine (but I live in) clean.
Love Jess.