(no subject)
there's this fantacy i want to indulge in for a moment. its something that i know can never happen so i automatically block it out, but when i started to think about it i became so happy i thought i would just share it anyway.
i had this fantacy that my family would accept angel and he would be able to come home with me for christmas. We would take the train together and pack little snack baggies for the ride home. When we arrived at pittsbugh my parents would pick us up and I would introduce them. handshake for my father, hug for my mother. On the ride to my grandmothers house they would ask us questions about our new place and how we were getting along. When we arrive at my grandmother's my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins would hug and hand shake with him. THey would compliment his hair or clothing or make some form of small talk. Maybe my uncle or grandfather would sit him down and ask him what kind of work he does, or if he has a hobby like hunting or something.
Then we would all sit in the living room and exchange gifts. all of the gift tags that used to be addressed to "jason" would now read "to jason and angel." Inside the gifts would be little house hold appliances that we need to get our home furnished. Somebody would say some kind of joke about what i was like as a baby to embarass me infront of angel. Then we would all sit down to an italian chrismas, a table full of 12 different servings of fish. They would make angel taste every single dish, which he would have to do to avoid insulting my grandmother. Then he would take photo's with all my relatives just like then made my cousin's husband do the first christmas he joined the family.
The rest of the day would be spent going to other aunts homes eating chocholate, singing, talking, and watching christmas movies. At the end of the night they would give us a room to sleep in where we would watch the christmas lights shine through the falling snow.
instead i will probably have to choose one day who i want to spend the holiday with. right now he might be by himself, which breaks my heart. no one deserves to be alone. My father says that sin cannot pass the threshold of his home, therefore my lover will never be alowed to visit my family. My relatives all really think i'm going to hell so seeing me "actively gay" would be unacceptable. They could never accept him because of my relationship with him. I want him to be a part of my family. I wish it was safe to bring him home, but i would never put him into an unsafe position, and believe me, if we came home with me, it would be unsafe. Well at leaste i have my dreams.
i had this fantacy that my family would accept angel and he would be able to come home with me for christmas. We would take the train together and pack little snack baggies for the ride home. When we arrived at pittsbugh my parents would pick us up and I would introduce them. handshake for my father, hug for my mother. On the ride to my grandmothers house they would ask us questions about our new place and how we were getting along. When we arrive at my grandmother's my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins would hug and hand shake with him. THey would compliment his hair or clothing or make some form of small talk. Maybe my uncle or grandfather would sit him down and ask him what kind of work he does, or if he has a hobby like hunting or something.
Then we would all sit in the living room and exchange gifts. all of the gift tags that used to be addressed to "jason" would now read "to jason and angel." Inside the gifts would be little house hold appliances that we need to get our home furnished. Somebody would say some kind of joke about what i was like as a baby to embarass me infront of angel. Then we would all sit down to an italian chrismas, a table full of 12 different servings of fish. They would make angel taste every single dish, which he would have to do to avoid insulting my grandmother. Then he would take photo's with all my relatives just like then made my cousin's husband do the first christmas he joined the family.
The rest of the day would be spent going to other aunts homes eating chocholate, singing, talking, and watching christmas movies. At the end of the night they would give us a room to sleep in where we would watch the christmas lights shine through the falling snow.
instead i will probably have to choose one day who i want to spend the holiday with. right now he might be by himself, which breaks my heart. no one deserves to be alone. My father says that sin cannot pass the threshold of his home, therefore my lover will never be alowed to visit my family. My relatives all really think i'm going to hell so seeing me "actively gay" would be unacceptable. They could never accept him because of my relationship with him. I want him to be a part of my family. I wish it was safe to bring him home, but i would never put him into an unsafe position, and believe me, if we came home with me, it would be unsafe. Well at leaste i have my dreams.