(no subject)
its parent teacher night. So that means i am at i.s. 223 for 12 hours today. Yeah i get a 2.5 hour break- big deal, i hate long days. I love seeing parents, don’t get me wrong, it helps me and the students so much, i just hate long days!!!
I have been connecting with my students more. Over the past week i have had two students come to me with personal issues. It’s amazing what some children carry with them, it amazes me how they blame themselves, how easily the feel shame. It makes me so sad. i am also amazed at how articulate some children are. They can tell me why they are depressed and how they feel without me even having to ask that many questions. Today a student shared with me why he was depressed. He feels that he is a failure and is afraid of failing school. We sat down and made a list of all his accomplishments. Can you believe that a brown belt in Karate, soccer awards, speaking and writing two different languages and moving a total of 7 times (including living in 2 countries) was on this boys list. All from someone who thinks they are a failure. How does this happen?
I have been cooking for myself lately and it actually taste good. To me that is, angel won’t even try it. it makes me feel healthier too, the food all comes from fresh fruits and grains. I love it. This has been a big success for me, the is the most regular i have ever cooked for myself. I just use one vegetarian cook book for all my dinners. I want to learn how to cook cookies too, i think that would be a nice treat.
I had this terrible dream last night. I had this dream me and A went to a sex party. A really nasty s/m bisexual event in some underground abandoned basement. It was dark, wet, and dirty. i never have sex in my sex dream, i always end up looking for things. this time i was looking for my coat and jacket. all i kept thinking was, i dont have money to buy a new one. When i came back A told me he hooked up with two other people. I was so angry i lost it. Then i lost him, he felt anger and shame and walked away. Before long it was daybreak and all of these people were leaving the building. I left with a friend- who i was very surprised to see there. He too was distant and didn’t listen to me much even though I was having a panic attack. Then i woke up. I turned over ready to slap my baby when i realized it was just a nightmare. Psychoanalyze that and you have won a first class ticket to many of my fears.
much luv,
jason
I have been connecting with my students more. Over the past week i have had two students come to me with personal issues. It’s amazing what some children carry with them, it amazes me how they blame themselves, how easily the feel shame. It makes me so sad. i am also amazed at how articulate some children are. They can tell me why they are depressed and how they feel without me even having to ask that many questions. Today a student shared with me why he was depressed. He feels that he is a failure and is afraid of failing school. We sat down and made a list of all his accomplishments. Can you believe that a brown belt in Karate, soccer awards, speaking and writing two different languages and moving a total of 7 times (including living in 2 countries) was on this boys list. All from someone who thinks they are a failure. How does this happen?
I have been cooking for myself lately and it actually taste good. To me that is, angel won’t even try it. it makes me feel healthier too, the food all comes from fresh fruits and grains. I love it. This has been a big success for me, the is the most regular i have ever cooked for myself. I just use one vegetarian cook book for all my dinners. I want to learn how to cook cookies too, i think that would be a nice treat.
I had this terrible dream last night. I had this dream me and A went to a sex party. A really nasty s/m bisexual event in some underground abandoned basement. It was dark, wet, and dirty. i never have sex in my sex dream, i always end up looking for things. this time i was looking for my coat and jacket. all i kept thinking was, i dont have money to buy a new one. When i came back A told me he hooked up with two other people. I was so angry i lost it. Then i lost him, he felt anger and shame and walked away. Before long it was daybreak and all of these people were leaving the building. I left with a friend- who i was very surprised to see there. He too was distant and didn’t listen to me much even though I was having a panic attack. Then i woke up. I turned over ready to slap my baby when i realized it was just a nightmare. Psychoanalyze that and you have won a first class ticket to many of my fears.
much luv,
jason