Story Time!
My Father flips and remodels houses. A while ago he hired some workers off craigslist to clear out some blackberries and powerwash the driveway of a place he was working on. They did a great job the first day, but then they snuck in later and stole his (+$1,000) pressure washer.
After some time had passed, he gave me their number and asked me to get in contact with them. I called, left a message saying I'd seen their number a long time ago and I had some work for them. Story is that I have an older relative that's trying to sell her house that she doesn't live in anymore, and I, being the dutiful kid that mowed lawns and such in my youth, am helping her out with a bit of fix-up. We agreed to meet at a foreclosed house that my dad knew of (my brother and I), and I talked to him about how we wanted the steps and patio powerwashed so it'd look better for pictures. He goes:
Him: "Do you want it just ok, or really good?"
Me: "Well, what's the difference?"
Him: "I've got a decent powerwasher, but I've also got a really nice one. It'll cost you a bit more per hour, but it does a great job!"
Me: *sparkle* *impressed* "You don't say! What kind?"
Him: *modest male preening* "Honda, 4000 psi. Cleans like nothing you've ever seen."
Me: "No kidding!"
Gentle reader, I'll give you 3 guesses as to what, exactly, he stole from my father. Now, at this point we're happy, because we really didn't want to have to drag the cops into it. We chose the location of the house, in part, because it's in the jurisdiction of the police district my mom works in (divorced from Dad, but amicable) because when you call the cops it helps if you already have the right relationship with them. Really, you would not believe how helpful cops can be when you're family of one of "theirs" (provided of course, the help you want isn't getting your cop spouse to not beat or kill you, but hey, nothing's perfect.) Still, it's paperwork and delay and Dad needs to use the washer for work. Also, Dad was very disappointed that an otherwise good worker turned out to be a thief, and there's something about stealing it for your business, to continue to earn an honest living with it, that's better than pawning it for hookers and booze.
So we agree to meet up later at the house with his worker and the washer and brother and I will help hook it up to the neighbor's water supply (no water at the house, and we need a reason to be there). So, he gives us the call, we call Dad and his business partner, and show up to stall them. They've already raked clean the patio - very industrious when they aren't stealing - just goes to show that people can surprise you. Brother brings a long hose, and takes time unraveling it, fiddling around, getting it hooked up to the neighbor, and I talk to the guy. "Shame I'm not in the market for a house now, I'd snap this one up - did you see the outdoor fireplace?" "You must get a lot of work in this area?" and so forth. Funny thing was, I was completely at ease for the conversation. I do fake very well - it's trying to be genuine that's tricky. Dad drives up.
Dad: "Great, you brought my washer back."
Him: "What, no! This belongs to a friend."
Dad: "Oh I'm your friend now?" [this is followed by a very familiarly-toned "I'm disappointed in you" speech where Dad goes on about how he thought the kid was a good worker and would have been happy to have lent or rented the washer to him when needed, had he just asked.]
So anyway, Father's happy and has his pressure washer back, and I am left to contemplate my nature. I think I should start being more mentally predatory in job interviews. Going to the 'I'm tricking you, you don't get it, you tool, but I'm screwing you over," mental state gives me more sparkle and smoothness than trying to "be myself."
After some time had passed, he gave me their number and asked me to get in contact with them. I called, left a message saying I'd seen their number a long time ago and I had some work for them. Story is that I have an older relative that's trying to sell her house that she doesn't live in anymore, and I, being the dutiful kid that mowed lawns and such in my youth, am helping her out with a bit of fix-up. We agreed to meet at a foreclosed house that my dad knew of (my brother and I), and I talked to him about how we wanted the steps and patio powerwashed so it'd look better for pictures. He goes:
Him: "Do you want it just ok, or really good?"
Me: "Well, what's the difference?"
Him: "I've got a decent powerwasher, but I've also got a really nice one. It'll cost you a bit more per hour, but it does a great job!"
Me: *sparkle* *impressed* "You don't say! What kind?"
Him: *modest male preening* "Honda, 4000 psi. Cleans like nothing you've ever seen."
Me: "No kidding!"
Gentle reader, I'll give you 3 guesses as to what, exactly, he stole from my father. Now, at this point we're happy, because we really didn't want to have to drag the cops into it. We chose the location of the house, in part, because it's in the jurisdiction of the police district my mom works in (divorced from Dad, but amicable) because when you call the cops it helps if you already have the right relationship with them. Really, you would not believe how helpful cops can be when you're family of one of "theirs" (provided of course, the help you want isn't getting your cop spouse to not beat or kill you, but hey, nothing's perfect.) Still, it's paperwork and delay and Dad needs to use the washer for work. Also, Dad was very disappointed that an otherwise good worker turned out to be a thief, and there's something about stealing it for your business, to continue to earn an honest living with it, that's better than pawning it for hookers and booze.
So we agree to meet up later at the house with his worker and the washer and brother and I will help hook it up to the neighbor's water supply (no water at the house, and we need a reason to be there). So, he gives us the call, we call Dad and his business partner, and show up to stall them. They've already raked clean the patio - very industrious when they aren't stealing - just goes to show that people can surprise you. Brother brings a long hose, and takes time unraveling it, fiddling around, getting it hooked up to the neighbor, and I talk to the guy. "Shame I'm not in the market for a house now, I'd snap this one up - did you see the outdoor fireplace?" "You must get a lot of work in this area?" and so forth. Funny thing was, I was completely at ease for the conversation. I do fake very well - it's trying to be genuine that's tricky. Dad drives up.
Dad: "Great, you brought my washer back."
Him: "What, no! This belongs to a friend."
Dad: "Oh I'm your friend now?" [this is followed by a very familiarly-toned "I'm disappointed in you" speech where Dad goes on about how he thought the kid was a good worker and would have been happy to have lent or rented the washer to him when needed, had he just asked.]
So anyway, Father's happy and has his pressure washer back, and I am left to contemplate my nature. I think I should start being more mentally predatory in job interviews. Going to the 'I'm tricking you, you don't get it, you tool, but I'm screwing you over," mental state gives me more sparkle and smoothness than trying to "be myself."