A deeper explanation...
or... Why I Despise Internet Trolls
(regarding my earlier post)
When I was a kid, I was never into the "cool" things. We didn't have a TV, so I read. I wasn't conversant in The Dukes of Hazzard, Buck Rogers, Knight Rider, or whatever the current "cool" TV thing was. And I was teased pretty regularly for it.
I was a smart kid. I don't think it is any in-born thing, I think it is because without a TV I was compelled to get most of my entertainment from reading. So I learned stuff. And I was mocked for being smart. I was mocked for doing well on tests, I was mocked for my interest in science, I was mocked for my interest in science fiction, which led to an interest in fantasy, for which I was, predictably, mocked.
My dad was an alcoholic and a workaholic and we lived on a farm. My older brother was a stoner. We were too poor to pay for any kind of team fees. There was nobody to teach me sports, so I never learned them and never developed an interest in them. I could run like hell, and even won a few ribbons for it at school field days, but that was the extent of my athletic ability. Can't throw, can't catch, can't dribble... More mockery.
As a way of helping put food on the table, my older brother taught me how to "tickle" trout. (Tickling trout is a way of catching them with your bare hands.) One time I got invited to a kid's birthday party. There was a good trout stream at the back of their property. I demonstrated how to tickle trout. I was pretty damn proud. Until one kid pointed out that if my family wasn't so poor, I'd use a pole like everybody else. Several weeks of mockery.
I was bullied as a kid, and not just in the proportions every kid is. I spent years as a prime target. I was smart, poor, and isolated from pop culture. From time to time I comment on the cruelty of children. It isn't just observation.
When I was in high school, I tried my hand at bullying. Fortunately, I picked the wrong kid to push around, and he beat me bloody. Seems he didn't like that kind of shit any more than I did, and I learned my lesson. Not the lesson that many kids would have, I'm sure. I didn't learn to pick better targets or to adopt different bullying methods. I learned that if I tried, I could really hurt a person. Not physically, but inside, where it really counts. And I remembered what that felt like.
Well, now I'm 40 years old, and I can ignore bullies. I can look at my life and evaluate my success on my own terms, and-while I still have goals I'm working toward-I am proud of where I am. In love, lifestyle, and accomplishment, I call myself successful. There are people whose opinions matter to me; those people who want to help me be better, not the ones who want to run me down.
But when people piss on what makes others happy or proud, when they deliberately try to damage another's happiness, I see them for what they are. They are bullies. If you go out seeking to make people feel bad about themselves or ruin their fun, if you get a kick out of making others feel bad or frustrated, you are a bully. And if you stand in a bully's corner, you are just as bad.
Any bullshit protestations that "it's just the Internet" can safely be ignored, because there are real people on the other end, with real feelings, and many of them aren't very good at shrugging off bullying. And those people are the bully's targets, because a bully who is ignored goes away. A bully is seeking out that reaction, that proof he has ruined the fun or self-esteem of another.
And while I can shrug off attempts to bully me, I still despise bullies of any stripe. Bullying is despicable and low, and anybody past the age of 8 who doesn't understand that... Well, they aren't worth my time, and I believe my association with them actually lowers me.
And I'm just a touch too arrogant to let someone as lowly as a bully pull me down.
(regarding my earlier post)
When I was a kid, I was never into the "cool" things. We didn't have a TV, so I read. I wasn't conversant in The Dukes of Hazzard, Buck Rogers, Knight Rider, or whatever the current "cool" TV thing was. And I was teased pretty regularly for it.
I was a smart kid. I don't think it is any in-born thing, I think it is because without a TV I was compelled to get most of my entertainment from reading. So I learned stuff. And I was mocked for being smart. I was mocked for doing well on tests, I was mocked for my interest in science, I was mocked for my interest in science fiction, which led to an interest in fantasy, for which I was, predictably, mocked.
My dad was an alcoholic and a workaholic and we lived on a farm. My older brother was a stoner. We were too poor to pay for any kind of team fees. There was nobody to teach me sports, so I never learned them and never developed an interest in them. I could run like hell, and even won a few ribbons for it at school field days, but that was the extent of my athletic ability. Can't throw, can't catch, can't dribble... More mockery.
As a way of helping put food on the table, my older brother taught me how to "tickle" trout. (Tickling trout is a way of catching them with your bare hands.) One time I got invited to a kid's birthday party. There was a good trout stream at the back of their property. I demonstrated how to tickle trout. I was pretty damn proud. Until one kid pointed out that if my family wasn't so poor, I'd use a pole like everybody else. Several weeks of mockery.
I was bullied as a kid, and not just in the proportions every kid is. I spent years as a prime target. I was smart, poor, and isolated from pop culture. From time to time I comment on the cruelty of children. It isn't just observation.
When I was in high school, I tried my hand at bullying. Fortunately, I picked the wrong kid to push around, and he beat me bloody. Seems he didn't like that kind of shit any more than I did, and I learned my lesson. Not the lesson that many kids would have, I'm sure. I didn't learn to pick better targets or to adopt different bullying methods. I learned that if I tried, I could really hurt a person. Not physically, but inside, where it really counts. And I remembered what that felt like.
Well, now I'm 40 years old, and I can ignore bullies. I can look at my life and evaluate my success on my own terms, and-while I still have goals I'm working toward-I am proud of where I am. In love, lifestyle, and accomplishment, I call myself successful. There are people whose opinions matter to me; those people who want to help me be better, not the ones who want to run me down.
But when people piss on what makes others happy or proud, when they deliberately try to damage another's happiness, I see them for what they are. They are bullies. If you go out seeking to make people feel bad about themselves or ruin their fun, if you get a kick out of making others feel bad or frustrated, you are a bully. And if you stand in a bully's corner, you are just as bad.
Any bullshit protestations that "it's just the Internet" can safely be ignored, because there are real people on the other end, with real feelings, and many of them aren't very good at shrugging off bullying. And those people are the bully's targets, because a bully who is ignored goes away. A bully is seeking out that reaction, that proof he has ruined the fun or self-esteem of another.
And while I can shrug off attempts to bully me, I still despise bullies of any stripe. Bullying is despicable and low, and anybody past the age of 8 who doesn't understand that... Well, they aren't worth my time, and I believe my association with them actually lowers me.
And I'm just a touch too arrogant to let someone as lowly as a bully pull me down.