A racing heart
I haven't been able to sleep today yet because it feels like my heart is beating so fast its going to burst. It kinda worries me, as some of you know already, that both sides of my family has had heart problems. The best part of all of this is that I have had a very very very mild stroke thingy or something similar to that. I don't plan to have another one any time soon and I have been taking semi- better care of myself. Another thing that could be the cause is that I'm going to try to go back to NE at the end of july. Nomally that would not matter, but this time I'm bring Nikki with me. Now I want to keep this a secert from my mom so nobody better tell her. She is going to kill me.
In other news.... I got back my US taxrefund about.... 10 days ago, but I never check my blalnce in fear of the doomy msg of:
You have -$587
But in fact I have about $500 right now. Paid cellphone bill, CC bill, bestbuy bill, zach and going to pay Nikki back in installments so I do have some money to treat my frineds to dinner and crap like that.
Just reccently I've looked up my Ex's livejournal, cause I what to know if she was doing alright or not. I don't know what to think when the last to post are from May and are about just anime and videogame stuff. The last "real" post I saw was in about April and it talked about how she has lost most of her friends that she ever had. For a while I feel kinda bad because I was a friend of hers and when our relationship came to an end, so do our friendship. I never not wanted to be her friend, but I didn't know what to say to her anymore and for the fact that she just stop trying to be friends at all. I don't like what she did to me when my world came to a complete crash upon a Freezing cold wall filled with razors and acid dripping on my head stright into my brain, but shit happens. All I dod= know now is that I do hope that she is ok. Best luck to her.
With a short trip down memory lane I feel a bit down, but I also just look above my monitor and I see a famed picture that someone very special made for me. Thank you Nikki. I often wonder what would have happened if I never started to go out with her... scary to think that some days with me losing my job and things going to hell.
Thanks to all my friends and family for bearing with me though some tough shit. I really couldn't have done it without you guys. I hopee I can do the same for you guys too. I think that alot of my friends really aren't friends, but instead a part of my extended family. Thanks for being in it.
Nikki wants all of us to get together someplace other than the mall and just bs. Some place/time where all of our friends plus ones for back in the day could come to. I'm up for it. I wonder if NE friends would be able to get along with CO friends.... meh
Quotes for this update:
"The difference between friends and family is that no matter what happens, where you are, and what you do... family will always be there for you." - Noah
Aj, zach or someone"What are you doing?"
Me "Being mean"
*sounds of Explosions on top of a motel building*
Me "hehehe" - Convo when playing BattleField 2 Demo
"Don't worry, Everythings gonna be alright" - Nikki
"This beer is so bad, it made my nose bleed" - Matt at Old C's
Well semi-tired so I will at leadt try to rest up. Good night every one and if anyones wants to hang out some time, just ask.
Laters - Noah
In other news.... I got back my US taxrefund about.... 10 days ago, but I never check my blalnce in fear of the doomy msg of:
You have -$587
But in fact I have about $500 right now. Paid cellphone bill, CC bill, bestbuy bill, zach and going to pay Nikki back in installments so I do have some money to treat my frineds to dinner and crap like that.
Just reccently I've looked up my Ex's livejournal, cause I what to know if she was doing alright or not. I don't know what to think when the last to post are from May and are about just anime and videogame stuff. The last "real" post I saw was in about April and it talked about how she has lost most of her friends that she ever had. For a while I feel kinda bad because I was a friend of hers and when our relationship came to an end, so do our friendship. I never not wanted to be her friend, but I didn't know what to say to her anymore and for the fact that she just stop trying to be friends at all. I don't like what she did to me when my world came to a complete crash upon a Freezing cold wall filled with razors and acid dripping on my head stright into my brain, but shit happens. All I dod= know now is that I do hope that she is ok. Best luck to her.
With a short trip down memory lane I feel a bit down, but I also just look above my monitor and I see a famed picture that someone very special made for me. Thank you Nikki. I often wonder what would have happened if I never started to go out with her... scary to think that some days with me losing my job and things going to hell.
Thanks to all my friends and family for bearing with me though some tough shit. I really couldn't have done it without you guys. I hopee I can do the same for you guys too. I think that alot of my friends really aren't friends, but instead a part of my extended family. Thanks for being in it.
Nikki wants all of us to get together someplace other than the mall and just bs. Some place/time where all of our friends plus ones for back in the day could come to. I'm up for it. I wonder if NE friends would be able to get along with CO friends.... meh
Quotes for this update:
"The difference between friends and family is that no matter what happens, where you are, and what you do... family will always be there for you." - Noah
Aj, zach or someone"What are you doing?"
Me "Being mean"
*sounds of Explosions on top of a motel building*
Me "hehehe" - Convo when playing BattleField 2 Demo
"Don't worry, Everythings gonna be alright" - Nikki
"This beer is so bad, it made my nose bleed" - Matt at Old C's
Well semi-tired so I will at leadt try to rest up. Good night every one and if anyones wants to hang out some time, just ask.
Laters - Noah