✘ [9]
It's cold... how odd.
Filtered; Hackable;
I've never been one for emotions, and the situations I have encountered in my life pertaining to them have never had a good outcome.
It is not that I do not know what to do in such situations. I actually know far too well. And it is why I have never wanted to involve myself more than necessary. My life, my duty-- are for the dream of my superior, the very reason the Turks exist. Veld.
If I were to begin to explain how much he has done for me, how much he has shaped me into the person I am, I probably would not stop. And in that light, perhaps it would be wise to understand that before anything, before my wants, before my desires and feelings, before ShinRa itself... I will always and only consider the Turks.
This is not because I am deliberately denying myself any other possibility towards a so-called 'happiness'. The Turks are my happiness, as they were Veld's. ShinRa may be my duty, but the Turks are my very existence and life.
I cannot, will not ever turn away from that.
Elena has Jr. now, and I never intended to interfere with her happiness. Aerith and I may go long back, but her happiness was with Zack... and Rufus. He is the very duty the Turks have been formed for and I cannot abandon him when he needs me, needs us.
But I cannot, will not, want to do anything to undermine that... These feelings... they're secondary.
I am a leader, and I will never falter from that.
I wish more people saw it instead of expecting me to do what I cannot care to involve myself intensively with.
It's times like these I wish we could go back to the way we were. All of us.
/Filtered
[ooc; He filtered it in a hurry when he realized he was cursed, so security sucks. xD have the most honest Tseng will EVER be. ]
Filtered; Hackable;
I've never been one for emotions, and the situations I have encountered in my life pertaining to them have never had a good outcome.
It is not that I do not know what to do in such situations. I actually know far too well. And it is why I have never wanted to involve myself more than necessary. My life, my duty-- are for the dream of my superior, the very reason the Turks exist. Veld.
If I were to begin to explain how much he has done for me, how much he has shaped me into the person I am, I probably would not stop. And in that light, perhaps it would be wise to understand that before anything, before my wants, before my desires and feelings, before ShinRa itself... I will always and only consider the Turks.
This is not because I am deliberately denying myself any other possibility towards a so-called 'happiness'. The Turks are my happiness, as they were Veld's. ShinRa may be my duty, but the Turks are my very existence and life.
I cannot, will not ever turn away from that.
Elena has Jr. now, and I never intended to interfere with her happiness. Aerith and I may go long back, but her happiness was with Zack... and Rufus. He is the very duty the Turks have been formed for and I cannot abandon him when he needs me, needs us.
But I cannot, will not, want to do anything to undermine that... These feelings... they're secondary.
I am a leader, and I will never falter from that.
I wish more people saw it instead of expecting me to do what I cannot care to involve myself intensively with.
It's times like these I wish we could go back to the way we were. All of us.
/Filtered
[ooc; He filtered it in a hurry when he realized he was cursed, so security sucks. xD have the most honest Tseng will EVER be. ]